Best Phelps Poems

What thing seems to make men King Kong?
It lies under Michael Phelps’ thong
With each stroke of grace
See a free style freebase
That huge bulging spot is a bong...

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She's in the cut, with a different kind of fabric 
She earns minimum wage, but her Instagram is lavish 
Trust me I don't know how she keeps the balance 
Probably got a married man who injects cash in her balance 
That's why it's not a challenge
Until he gets tired...

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'If chronic pain were Olympic sport'

Morning shocks me with a jolt
Night time flies like Usain Bolt
If dream of sleep were 'lympic pride
My pain within I'd win not hide
If feeling tired, was winning gold 
My chronic illness medal hold
We would be there chasing Mo
If energy won...

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Basketball is fun.
I can play as a point guard, 
A shooting guard and
Dunk the ball like Kobe Bryant.

Boxing is also my interest.
Although it's a dangerous sport,
I like to see two top fighters
Pacquiao versus Mayweather, Jr.

Although I'd like to try a gulf game,
Playing a ball is...

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Westboro Baptist Church Member At A Funeral 

By Elton Camp

A sign he held and tee shirt wore
Same as he went to funerals before

Mourners gathered around the grave
To him, some outraged looks gave

While they were dressed all in black
He had “God Hates You” front & back

The...

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As I sit and try to imagine,
I look and find another distraction,
find there's a fly in my poetry soup,
quite like a Michael Phelps swimming laps
around like an Olympian champion,
he must think he's pretty cool
using my bowl of soup like a swimming pool,
as I disdainfully sit...

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A Walk to Freedom

Nelson 'Madiba' Mandela,
Needless I say more.
But 'cos I need scribble 'bout a gross words,
I'll erupt the plain white stadium with my trusted 'vuvuzela'.

What's life without heartbreaks?
What are roses without thorns?
What's a party without cakes?
What're doughnuts without holes?

Closing in on freedom,
Its walk is...

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9/10/16


Polar ice caps continue to melt
Below asteroid belts
And above beds of kelp

Materials being smelt
Hyped up and stocked across the shelf

Better focus on your health
As much as, if not more than you do with wealth

Keep swimming, you don't have to be as good as Phelps
Near and...

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The Louvre debuted an exhibit today:
Cascading Marbles of Ripples and Folds.
In waves came patrons in trenches to see
what secrets David, the masterpiece, holds;

Each stroke of genius from Michelangelo,
memories written by one fountain pen.
The stories of glory reflected in mirrors,
standing on mantels as sculptures - not...

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All good things come to an end
And this is my last gymnastics sweetheart for now
Until another gymnast comes along
And steals my heart away like each one of the five
My fifth gymnastic sweetheart is Jaycie Phelps! 

Now she didn't become one of my sweethearts
Until I read...

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Westboro Baptist Church to Picket at Sandy Hook

By Elton Camp

“Westboro will picket Sandy Hook Elementary School to sing praise to God for the glory of his work in executing his judgment,” Shirley Phelps-Roper tweeted on Dec. 15.

Westboro Baptist Church is at it again
Praising their god...

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Around me are whispers in the wind,
Promises for another time and day;
Sunlight slips around my shoulder,
Warmth, feeling its way.

Will I know the time of wind,
Or let it slip right through my hands?
Promises forgotten, misplaced,
Buried beneath the blowing sands.

©2014, Carla Phelps Wert...

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“The songs are casual and careless in a satisfying way, like the used condom your latest lover left lying on your bedroom floor, a souvenir you’re not yet ready to dispose of.” Candy Cotton, Modern Woman’s Advisor

“Their lyricism is incredibly lean, There’d be a whole...

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It's like I can't do anything right 
Like everything I do deserves a fight
Is it because I am wrong 
Like slow dancing to a really fast song
Or is it because I try to make peace 
But all of our money has just been released 
Living...

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Let the games begin, may the best swimmer win, so is the tale at inception.
Unlike Michael Phelps, we are no geniuses at backstrokes.
It's a miracle, out of millions of possible combinations, we even won the race.
Just imagine a field of billions of people that all...

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