Best Opie Poems
Bello (hello)let me tell you about some Minions
Brightly covered single-cell organisms
Small yellow cylindrical creatures
With one eye and sometimes two
Not sure why . . .
Minions love to wear dungarees and goggles
Not sure why . . .
They live to serve, all they need is a leader
Their language is gibberish-fueled insanity
Like, we love you (tutaliloo ti amo)
Now there is this a group of Minions despicable
Minions of Anarchy . . .
A motorcycle gang of Minions
Roaring around on two wheels, zoooom
The leader is Clay, ugly (bananoninal!)
A one eye-master of destruction
His wife Gemma, la femme fatale
There is always a handsome hero
And his name is Jax, a blonde, one eyed Minion
Obviously quite insane and mentally disturbed
His wife, Tara, hate her (tatata-dala-tu)
And the other members of the group
Juice, Tigs, Opie, Kozit, Chibs, and Bobby
This despicable group are bad to the bone
Oh, not sure if Minions have bones . . .
Anyways, havoc and destruction follow them
But, I love (tutaliloo ti amo) their story, sorry (bi do)
what(po-ta !) you say of these bad boys
Oh, such depression and joy and family ties
Nothing is more important to them than family
Kiss, kiss, kiss (muak, muak, muak)
This is but one group of Minions
Like all who dwell in the world, there are many groups
Some good, some bad, and some just silly
Thank you (tank you)
Goodbye (poopayel)
Cheers (kanpal)
__________________________
February 19, 2016
Poetry/Free Verse/Minions of Anarchy
Copyright Protected, ID 16-759-322-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
For the contest, Minions
Sponsor, Silent One
Third Place
Categories:
opie, funny,
Form:
Free verse
Ben Matlock is an excellent criminal attorney.
He has gone back to find his roots recently.
The tracks he was following led him to Mayberry.
The sheriff Andy Taylor has stark familiarity.
Barney Fife is the name of Andy’s deputy.
Andy has a son by the name of Opie.
Their lives would not be complete without Aunt Bee.
Well, here is a sobering dose of reality:
Mr. Griffith has entered another phase of immortality.
Andy Griffith
(1926-2012)
Categories:
opie, dedication, loss, tribute,
Form:
Rhyme
Moses and his sweet Molly Mouse
have a puzzling dilemma.
They have used all the names they know
from Marvalee to Maryemma.
They have followed all mouse name rules.
Each must begin with letter em.
After their hundreds of babies,
they have no more new names for them.
They can’t use Micky or Minnie,
for they know the unwritten rule.
Using gods or goddesses names
will make any mouse look a fool.
When Sally Squirrel comes to call,
the new mouse family to view,
they speak of their giant problem
and ask Sally, “What shall we do?”.
Sally swiftly offers to help,
but the fine ess names that she knows,
are rejected by the mouse pair,
“We surely can’t use one of those.”
Opie Oppossum arrives to ogle
and bring names with an oh or pee.
Moses objecting once again,
“They must start with an em, you see.”
Then Molly whispers to Moses.
“I will question Miss Mynah Bird.
Mynah is sure to remember
every em word she’s ever heard.”
Miss Mynah is very happy
to respond to their fervent plea.
She has a name for every child
they will live long enough to see.
There‘s Myra and Moira and Meg,
for the girl mice now in the nest..
Maurie and Mervin and Maleg,
are boy names passing the test.
The mouse pastor baptizes them
and as he pronounces each name,
Moses and Molly glow with pride.
Miss Mynah has saved them from shame.
Personification Moses and Molly Mouse, Sally Squirrel, Opie Oppossum, Mouse pastor
Miss Mynah Bird
Categories:
opie, family, fantasy, children,
Form:
Personification
The shows I watched when young were black and white.
About five channels came on day and night.
The Beaver, Opie, Jeanie, Flying Nun
were characters I liked both good and fun.
Shows of humor sometimes missed their function;
one like that for sure was “Petticoat Junction.”
But “Laugh-In,” “Lucy,” and “Bewitched” were cool;
“Three Stooges” I rushed home for after school.
“Lassie” for the kiddies, “Rifleman” for dad,
“The Man From U.N.C.L.E” for us all, a 60’s fad.
By standards of today, those shows were tame.
The raciest perhaps was “The Dating Game!”
One genius fat guy, Hitchcock, gave a thrill
with horror tales. I like those re-runs still!
But there’s one 60s TV show that I
recall the best; I’ll finish telling why!
“Bonanza,” broadcast Sundays, was the one
for romance, drama, and great family fun,
for on the Ponderosa lived wise Ben
and his three sons, well-off but simple men.
The chubby one named Hoss was kind of sweet.
The oldest, Adam, I found really neat!
Little Joe, whom we girls would like to marry,
later moved to “Little House on the Prairie!”
It may not have been best of old TV,
but it was sure a cherished show for me
because it came each Sunday night at eight,
a special time so great I could not wait!
My mom and dad and we eight kids would sit
together happily enjoying it.
Before the show began my mom would pop
a huge pan full of popcorn, butter on top.
Each time commercials came, we’d dip a bowl
of ours into that pan; I’d get so full
for I’d eat eight or ten small bowls of it.
Once I begin with popcorn, I can’t quit!
This was the family custom I lived for
since television and food I both adore.
It was the night we all together sat
enthralled, and there’s not much that can beat that!
Written by Andrea Dietrich
(I have too many today to name TV favorites but I really
think "Bonanza" has to be my favorite from my childhood!)
For Michael J. Falotico's "Ryhme Me An Old TV SHow.... Poetry Contest"
Categories:
opie, family, nostalgiamom, family, night,
Form:
Rhyme
Take a step back to a simpler place,
Where the world revolved at a slower pace.
Think about Andy, Opie, Barney and Aunt Bee,
Enjoying life in the small town of Mayberry.
Categories:
opie, fantasy, imagination, life, nostalgia,
Form:
Couplet
Opie woke up feeling right today,
got a good nod in
Everything was copacetic okay
Heard on the news
there was a crisis he should know about,
as he wiped the spittle drooling down from his mouth
Emergency in the suburbs:
Opioid deaths on the rise
He always woke up the next day
from a death dangle the previous night
So the rail thin fella just smiled,
because he felt like Superman
holding anti-Kryptonite in his hand
Opie knew he had his lucky charm,
a mantra that warded off any overdose attack:
Opie said he ain’t no coke dopefiend,
Opie said he don't do crazy ...
Opie don’t do crack
He’s a middle-class snob junkie,
he don’t steal for his drugs
Opie got a good job, and a ring of friends
with the same junkie love
Opie boasts that he’s a heroin man,
a surgeon with the syringe
He can stretch your high out a mile long,
make the needle sing you a lullaby Valium song
Opie never misses the mark
when he plunges the pusher poison in
Opie just floats back,
riding mellow on the narcotic wind
Opie was the headline on the local news that day
Powerful Fentanyl was the culprit his friends say
They say Opie died with a smile,
sucking down the synthetic smack
Opie died foolish proud ...
Opie didn’t do crack
Categories:
opie, addiction, death, drug, identity,
Form:
Rhyme
Can you remember Lost in Space, Bonanza and Gunsmoke?
How about Leave it to Beaver—all the fun they`d poke?
The Dick VanDyke Show made us laugh, and so did Mr Ed.
And all the married couples had to stay in their own bed.
Jeannie couldn`t show her navel. Father did know best.
Tom and Dickie Smothers really failed the censors test.
Red Skelton was a classy clown who always made you smile.
Ed Sullivan ruled who was hot, and who would wait awhile.
Barney lived in Mayberry with Opie and Aunt Bea.
Mockingbird Lane was the home of Grandpa and Eddie.
Flipper ruled the ocean blue, and Gentle Ben the land.
Lassie barked until he knew he made you understand.
Bewitched showed us a mortal married to a cute, blonde witch—
Defied the laws of gravity with just a little twitch.
Petticoats were at the junction; the nun was flying high.
My Favorite Martian stole our hearts. And Laugh-In said good-bye.
Gilligan and Skipper tried to keep the rest from harm.
And Eddie Albert took his wife—from New York to the farm.
These shows were entertainment, without blood, and guns, and gore.
And maybe someday, Hollywood will see this, and make more.
Categories:
opie, childhood
Form:
He's Brad and he's
captain of the football team.
He’s been chosen prom king
and has a scholarship to college.
Everything’s going well for him
but he doesn’t like little Russell
the farm kid who transferred in.
Brad calls him Opie and says
he should wear a red plaid shirt
and black suspenders and
bounce to school every day
on a John Deere tractor.
Russell’s heard enough of that.
He and his father like to hunt for squirrel.
Not easy to get all the pellets out
but a mess of squirrel barbecued
makes a banquet out of Sunday dinner.
Brad shouldn’t have bothered Russell.
He’s still the prom king but he won’t
be able to sit on his throne that night.
Not easy to get all the pellets out.
Donal Mahoney
Categories:
opie, bullying,
Form:
Blank verse
In Memory of Andy Griffith
By Elton Camp
It's bad news that we received today
The actor Andy Griffith passed away
For decades he's kept us entertained
As Sheriff Taylor he has remained
The passing years have passed on by
Old age came and Andy had to die
It was as Matlock that I liked him best
Not with Bee, Opie, Barney & the rest
Mayberry was a town just far too sweet
To some, that fantasy world can't be beat
But one of his best roles that I ever saw
He played an insane, murderous grandpa
That he could play roles so diverse
Makes me miss him all the worse
Categories:
opie, death,
Form:
Rhyme
(This is a fictional poem)
My son makes Dennis the Menace look like Opie Taylor.
He has the manners of a tyrant and the mouth of a sailor.
He's only eight years old and he uses the F word.
He cusses me out and then he gives me the bird.
I ask him to stop cussing but he says hell no.
That's the last time that I'll let him watch HBO.
He cussed out his principal who happens to be deaf.
I'm glad he can't hear because my son called him an MF.
He circumcised me with my pocket knife and my wiener sure is sore.
Somebody please shoot me so I won't have to take his crap anymore.
Categories:
opie, funny, son, me, me,
Form:
Rhyme
I can't overlook what you did because it was an incredibly stupid thing to do.
You wanted a batch of pickles and you hired Aunt Bee to make them for you.
Almost nobody will ask her to make pickles but you decided to let her.
A person would need a cast iron stomach to handle her pickles, you should've known better.
When it comes to making pickles, Aunt Bee has absolutely no skill.
You'd better be very careful because her pickles are known to kill.
Opie's mother ate a jar of those pickles and that's what ended her life.
Because of Bee's pickles, Opie lost his mother and Andy lost his wife.
You hired Aunt Bee to make your pickles because it was dirt cheap.
If you eat them, you'll learn that what you sew is what you'll reap.
When Aunt Bee makes pickles, it's dumb but what you did was dumber.
Bee should go to jail for poisoning people with her kerosene cucumbers.
When I criticize her and her pickles, you say that I'm being mean.
But I won't apologize for criticizing pickles that taste like kerosene.
Categories:
opie, food, funny, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
walk inside my mind to a journey deep inside
personifications of laughter filter through the caverns
alone I bask in the vast expanse between that of space and time
there is a river with lava beside its strange presence
dig much deeper then ever before lest I implore another opened door
solitude is among me now with the ever glow of an aura of twilight
giving cadence toward the premonition of branches proceeding outward
come with your hurt come with your need to such a place as these
lucid dreams falling apart at the seams getting down to the very means
The thought of Andy Griffith with Opie so very care free fishing down by the pond
each of us is responsible for our actions we can't blame anyone but ourselves
walk inside my mind once again to when i was ten sitting under the Elm tree gazing to the sky
crafted a fascination of soaring space ships from outer space would invade my place
in good taste I would create those moments of love from god up above
alone again then I stare at the wall but in the back of my mind I heard my conscience call
reach for oblivion if someone gives you the opportunity say yes then learn it later
life is a roller coaster with twists and turns one soul soars the other will burn
best to invest in charity getting knocked down to your knees
apathy comes in a variety inside of me to hide from thee
there is a hero in us all so stand up ten feet tall
choices with voices with moments of solitude
give thanks to the one who sets us all free cause most of life is but a mystery
for what are we willing to achieve mark the one willing to explore awe so much more
a challenge to be free is a question of time remember when you were broke down to your last thin dime...
in time we sall shine brighter then ever before lest of course I implore another door
wax on wax off Mr Miyagi said it best putting Daniel to the test I must confess:
"Better learn balance cause balance is the key" !
Wax on wax off always do your best cause most of life is but a test
yet off the cuff here I send out a cheer to all those who persevered
best to offer positive reinforcement then any negative thoughts
Wax on wax off in the midnight hour have to take a cold shower
Categories:
opie, america, anxiety, art,
Form:
Free verse
Painting guru John Opie
a Cornish wonder we do see
His work displayed the peasant type
old & young folk & the like.
Categories:
opie, art, people,
Form:
Clerihew
Andy Griffith and Barney Fife
Aunt Bea
Opie
Father knows Best
Betty and Bud
Kathy called “kitten”
Loretta Young
Dinah Shore
The Lennon Sisters
Bonanza
Adam
Hoss and Little Joe
Sing Along With Mitch
Gary Moore
Ed Sullivan
Wholesome family shows
Until Elvis
Showed up on Ed Sullivan
Our shocked parents
Jumped up and turned off the TV set
But not soon enough
Categories:
opie, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Free verse
Barney Fife, the bumbler, is a joy to watch
Aunt Bea’s whining could be turned down a notch
Opie is grown, but not in these old shows, of course
Some days he sneaks carrots out to his found horse
Andy never gets married, but comes close a lot
Maybe this kept me watching, but I hope not….
Barney Fife’s eyes bugging out in fear is what gets me
His antics and expressions make me happy to have TV
I love that he never gets it until the very end
Everything fixed up by Andy, Barney’s true best friend.
Categories:
opie, nostalgia,
Form:
Rhyme