Best Officiated Poems
The dear old pastor had occupied the same pulpit for years and years;
He preached fire, damnation and The Hereafter scorching his congregants ears!
He had baptized hordes of kids and officiated when they married,
And comforted many mourning souls when their loved-ones were buried!
He suffered through stormy sessions at the monthly meetings of The Board,
And withstood the bickering of sisters of The Women's Guild, utterly bored!
Some of his flock were as stubborn as army mules and were quite contrary!
He faced challenging situations that they didn't teach about in seminary!
He confided with his long-suffering wife proclaiming, "This is the pits!"
And after serving the Lord nigh on thirty years he decided to call it quits.
He advised The Board that he was retiring due to health issues, you see.
(Truth was, he quipped, "I was sick of them and they were sick of me!")
Categories:
officiated, humorous, religious,
Form:
Rhyme
With two months left to go, in the year of 2012, I must not be too complacent.
However the first ten months have brought much joy and few sorrows.
The most exciting events have been the four weddings of young relatives.
My youngest grandson's wedding came first and I was not invited.
He and his intended flew off to Hawaii for the wedding, with their attendants.
The rest of us had to be satisfied with an invitation to their reception after they returned home. My wedding gift to my grandson and his bride was a professionally framed and sealed and museum glassed copy of my double poem, "The Bride's Prayer and The Bridegroom's Prayer". in hopes that it would last as long as I deeply wanted their marriage to last.
The other three weddings were the results of many months of planning and I received a formal invitation to each one. In late August my great-grandniece married her fiance in a military wedding. The reception was held in the Officers Club and was planned to the last detail. In September my own great-granddaughter held her wedding in my
yard and the weather cooperated beautifully. It was small, around fifty guests. Rented decorated tables held a feast worthy of a more opulent wedding. The groom was as handsome and the bride as beautiful as those in the wedding magazines they had consulted in order to avoid the high expense of a wedding planner.
The last wedding was held the last Saturday in October and the bridegroom was my favorite great-grandnephew. His beautiful bride was dressed in a lovely formal gown, under which she wore...cowgirl boots. Her eight attendants wore flirty. short, black dresses and...cowgirl boots. Western music was played and a catered meal of Western food was served to the two hundred guests. No expense was spared for this wedding. It was held at a remodeled cattle barn which has been turned into a beautiful social hall and rented out for just such occasions. The minister said it was the twenty-fifth wedding ceremony held in that building at which he had officiated.
These were all joyous affairs and my prayer is that all parties will all be able to observe their 75th anniversaries and are still as happy as on these, their wedding days.
Categories:
officiated, wedding, wedding, beautiful, prayer,
Form:
Free verse
Jimmy Kimmel talked about his son
who was born with a heart disease.
Representative John Vaso voted
against Affordable Care act that
would have supported a woman
with a brain tumor. People on a
retired fixed income are having
a hard time keeping up with the
increases in health insurance. I
wrote these poems after thinking
about this.
Pains In Health Plan
Our Congress members on are concentrating;
Pains in health plan they can be creating;
Bill not ever read,
Or have heard said;
What took place was plenty of prevaricating.
From us health benefits will want to rob,
By someone with big mouth or a fat slob;
From where I sit,
Are dumb dimwit,
And hope next election will lose their job.
There are things that we must confess;
Health Care plan has become a big mess;
Think of self only;
Leaving us lonely,
We are under duress causing so much stress.
Congress is not nice, courteous or ever kind;
Never leaving us with any peace of mind;
Sold us short;
Lent no support;
Even took advantage of deaf, dumb and blind.
All politicians we should learn how to avoid
Making all of us annoyed as well as paranoid;
Sure are sarcastic;
Doing things drastic;
Should flush them down toilet like a big void.
Constituents are being taking advantage of,
And with us won't share any of their love;
What's wrong with them?
Made our lives look grim;
So we have to pray to God in heaven above.
They never treat is like one of their own,
And soup given to us only had a big bone;
Pain in know where;
Not treat with care;
What they know nothing about leave alone.
What Congress really needs is to be officiated,
So that things will be successfully legislated;
Goals be met;
Not fool around or fret;
Or a successor to them will be contemplated.
James Serious Mysterious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
PS. Which one do you like the best?
Categories:
officiated, allegory, analogy, political,
Form:
Limerick
You would've labeled it a shotgun wedding,
if you'd seen how we rushed it,
snagging the license on Friday morning
and exchanging vows that same evening.
No white dress, no people-packed pews,
simply a long drive in my brother's Chevy,
from St. Louis to Morse Mill, Missouri;
that July day burned into our memories
at a hundred four degrees, no A/C,
and a flat tire on the road to the church.
Uncle Vernon officiated
in a less-than-five-minute ceremony.
You mean that's it? Is this legal?
I certainly didn't feel married!
"They'll think you're pregnant,"
my mother said. No chance of that,
with our entire courtship advanced
solely through airmail letters.
He was marked for Japan,
courtesy of the U. S. Air Force.
Only death or instant wedlock
were valid pleas for allowing leave.
We hadn't clapped lips together in 10 months.
When he called, I said yes,
and we had the shotgun wedding,
without the gun.
Categories:
officiated, war, wedding,
Form:
Narrative
page turning suspense filled the vaulted sepulchral air
ushering the veiled spouse to be
while afar off trumpets did blare
(arranged by the well known matchmaker Harriet Kuritsky)
creating the ambience analogous to a renaissance faire
yet contrasted in that this bachelor and other men related to me
segregated with females and males at a set distance away i.e. not physically
near
dictated by mandates of the Hebrew coda stemming from Moses biological tree
which separate quarters ample enough to spare
until the proper toll of the bell would peal accompanied by yippee!
after Rabbi Boyce officiated for Matthew Scott
and Abby Robin, the crowd exalted with cheers
of L’Chiam with chutzpah oompah’s sizzling and hot.
klezmer musicians played schmaltz
which accompanied the hoopla as couples did waltz.
all the while family, friends and relatives blessed the new groom and bride
although highly orthodox, the men removed respective skullcap
more commonly known as the yarmulke some plain others dyed
women and children broke out in traditional dance and song while other did
clap
exemplifying Yahweh to deliver mazal tov and shalom as spiritual guide
to the pronounced husband and wife who pledged their troth in a snap.
toward conclusion of this typical Jewish wedding, a full goblet of kosher red wine
got tossed in the air
this (in conjunction with crush of the emptied wine glass) communicated a sign
and marshaled the crowd to begin a local Jerusalem exodus symbolic and
clear.
as the newlyweds blissfully and radiantly strolled arm in arm
and exited the Synagogue, the euphoric and excited crowd
tossed handfuls of uncle Ben’s unconverted rice grown from a nearby organic
farm
a chauffeur waited to shuttle them to their honeymoon location
passersby waved and bowed e'en thy first grade school marm!
Categories:
officiated, happiness, inspirational, uplifting, men,
Form:
Elegy
page turning suspense filled the vaulted sepulchral air
ushering the veiled spouse to be
while afar off trumpets did blare
(arranged by the well known matchmaker Harriet Kuritsky)
creating the ambience analogous to a renaissance faire
yet contrasted in that this bachelor and other men related to me
segregated with females and males at a set distance away i.e. not physically
near
dictated by mandates of the Hebrew coda stemming from Moses biological tree
which separate quarters ample enough to spare
until the proper toll of the bell would peal accompanied by yippee!
after Rabbi Boyce officiated for Matthew Scott
and Abby Robin, the crowd exalted with cheers
of L’Chiam with chutzpah oompah’s sizzling and hot.
klezmer musicians played schmaltz
which accompanied the hoopla as couples did waltz.
all the while family, friends and relatives blessed the new groom and bride
although highly orthodox, the men removed respective skullcap
more commonly known as the yarmulke some plain others dyed
women and children broke out in traditional dance and song while other did
clap
exemplifying Yahweh to deliver mazal tov and shalom as spiritual guide
to the pronounced husband and wife who pledged their troth in a snap.
toward conclusion of this typical Jewish wedding, a full goblet of kosher red wine
got tossed in the air
this (in conjunction with crush of the emptied wine glass) communicated a sign
and marshaled the crowd to begin a local Jerusalem exodus symbolic and
clear.
as the newlyweds blissfully and radiantly strolled arm in arm
and exited the Synagogue, the euphoric and excited crowd
tossed handfuls of uncle Ben’s unconverted rice grown from a nearby organic
farm
a chauffeur waited to shuttle them to their honeymoon location
passersby waved and bowed e'en thy first grade school marm!
Categories:
officiated, happiness, inspirational, uplifting, men,
Form:
Elegy
As Easter approaches, a treasured memory surfaces.
While the commuter trains rolled by a few blocks away;
While the stadium of the Chicago Cubs prepped for baseball;
A most holy event was taking place that has followed me a life time.
It was not a routine ritual, and
I don't really remember the occasion,
But I rather think that it was Holy Week.
The season is misty, but the memory is forever sealed.
COMMUNIONS continue, but this kind will never come again
Until every believer in The Christ shares COMMONALITY in heaven.
In a little sanctuary on my college campus in Chicago, in '69 or '70,
A most -memorable COMMUNION took place that can never be erased.
All the students and faculty gathered as one body in our house of worship.
The school's president officiated; and everyone present gladly participated.
There was no hesitation, as everyone anticipated a bite of this and a sip of that. 'This' was One loaf of bread, and 'That was one large pitcher of grape juice being COMMONLY shared. Each one of us took a bite of bread, and each one took a sip of juice, COMMONLY. I tell you, it was a simpler time and a loving experience that has captured and held me captive until now.
041422PS
Categories:
officiated, christian, community, jesus,
Form:
Narrative
A piece of paper it’s true
The spirit or intention be a shield
The meeting of the minds
Between parties is one
Witness and signs
And officiated as genuine.
The vow is a promise which came true
The fairy tale…
The mystery became a miracle
The agreement and the commitment and extent
The mutuality of spirit
The execution and consummation comes a contract.
But contracts are not made in heaven
For in true life the parties intertwined
Make up its success or its failure.
All in one menu of the main course
Devoured and be labored
But always the expectant more than ever exist!
Categories:
officiated, marriage,
Form:
Free verse
Hear ye!!! This story so amazing
That keeps my heart blazing
About love on truth-pasture’s grazing…
Authored by God Whose compassion revives midst hatred’s freezing.
This is the love story of mankind’s first couple: Adam and Eve*
Based on the Bible I, with faith, fervently believe
They in togetherness-bliss marvelously did cleave…
Each other --- cherishing; one another --- vowing never to leave.
As to how they met, it was the plan of the Lord along His omniscience
In His perfect wisdom, He created man in His image-essence
Then with Adam’s rib, God wrought Eve with beauty’s magnificence…
Oh, they first beheld each other with wondrous love in their conscience.
There in Eden’s paradise* they had their wedding of heavenly grandeur
Officiated by God Himself, their vows’ exchange was a great treasure
As they looked at each other, full of grace-blessings that assure…
Such is the origin of love-filled gaze beyond the sensual, forever to endure.
Indeed, theirs was “love at first sight” in its purest height
With divine care for each other’s delight
Imparted by God upon joy for partnership, ecstatically right…
Thus, they are blessed with sweet relationship day and night.
*Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
October 29, 2018
1st Place, "EARLY NOVEMBER 2018..." Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Brian Strand; judged on 11/5/2018.
Categories:
officiated, appreciation, blessing, christian, faith,
Form:
Rhyme
It is undoubtedly true. At times I doubted that we would pull through.
Remember this: Although the journey is difficult, within site is destiny.
Not far from the banks of a large and winding lake, about a mile away from where my bride's life story began, is where there stands a little country church. It's where the two of us presently worship.
For documentation, both the Android and iPhones were there.
The parishioners sat patiently in the pews to witness.
The mistress of ceremony conducted us faithfully.
And the minister officiated and prayed for us.
And then, there we were, my bride and me,
renewing our wedding vows after 50 years.
I realize that it truly is history, but still at times,
it all seems a big mystery. Notwithstanding, I spend
no time in wonderment about where all the time went.
The decades of time are swallowed up inside our hearts,
and there it shall dwell until the two of us in our race
toward oneness in marriage have turned to dust.
The mystic of marriage is the pursuit of two becoming one.
Such mathematical feat does not make sense for mortal man.
Yet, since Adam and Eve, that has been God's Divine plan.
My bride and I said, "I do" in 1972, and we said it again Sunday, in 2022.
Through mountains of gain as well as through valleys of pain, our love has
remained. Albeit, so much has changed. And yes, it's most certainly true.
Our beautiful bodies have been totally rearranged. But our love remains.
Our God has been so very near and awesomely dear. In spite of our own
fears and tears, it is His Grace that has gotten us here. We always thrive
to do our best, but the secret is out no less. I tell you. The secret is this:
There is no gold at the end of the rainbow, and my bride and I have not
nor will we reach marital perfection.
070622PSCtest, Anniversary. Sara Kendrick
Categories:
officiated, family, marriage,
Form:
Narrative
I co-officiated a three generation wedding yesterday…
My son Bryan co-officiated with me….
and since it was my grandsons wedding…
in terms of generations that makes three.
The wedding was at our cabin in the mountains…
still cherished by the Cherokee.
The bride was beautiful, the groom was handsome
The weather was as fine as it could be
I’ve been blessed to live a life…that has had less valleys and more peaks…
and to have made the kind of memories…as the Cherokee say:
speak out of my eyes and cascade down my cheeks.
Under a blue sky dappled with the colors of autumn It was a truly beautiful day…
and I added a host more to an already wonderful array.
I’ll remember getting our cabin ready for the wedding…
Our son Ryan and his wife Amy…helped us to believe…
we could turn our driveway into a wedding chapel
under the trees…with a carpet of fallen leaves.
I’ll remember one dog in a tuxedo…and another in a flowered lei.
I’ll remember Ali, our daughter and Damien’s Mom’s tears on his wedding day.
I’ll remember the faces of Trista and Damien…as they looked into each other’s eyes…
I’ll remember how Bryan helped to make them laugh…while I innocently made them cry.
I’ll remember all the people who came…how Sofia, Damien’s sister rang the wedding bell…
I’ll remember when it was over…thinking how everything went so well.
As I sit back now to write this poem…
I’m trying hard to remember everything…every detail that was important to me.
replaying them over and over again…so they will remain etched in my memory.
So years from now…when I think about this day…
when it’s this day’s memories I seek….
they will speak happily out of my eyes
as they cascade gently down my cheeks.
Categories:
officiated, wedding,
Form:
Rhyme
The Meaning of the Nikah Ceremony:
The Nikah is a religious ceremony for a Muslim couple to be legally married under Islamic law. It’s a Prophetic tradition and the only permissible way that a man and woman can be married. This ceremony makes the wedding official because in the Islamic tradition it’s not permissible for a couple to be intimate without a Nikah. The Nikah legitimizes the relationship in front of God and it’s when the couple says, “I accept.”
“Marriage in Islam is a blessing,” says Imam Steve Mustafa Elturk, “and it is considered a very important part of faith.
Imam Steve Mustafa Elturk is the president of the Islamic Organization of North America (IONA) in Warren, Michigan. He has officiated hundreds of Nikahs for Muslim couples is very active in the Muslim community and is seen as a leader and advisor.
For the Nikah, there has to be a minimum of two male witnesses that can attest to the fact that both the bride and groom say, “I do” or “Qubool” from their own free will and without any force from family members or anyone else. It must be the bride and the groom who agree.
The Mahr is an obligatory gift from the groom to the bride that the bride or her family can request. More often than not, it is a lump sum of money that the bride decides. Other times, the bride may ask for a trip, diamond or anything she wishes. Of course, she is encouraged to be fair and keep her future husband’s income in mind. The Mahr is also symbolic of the responsibility the man has for providing for and taking care of his wife.
I want to live happy pious family married life with my Royal Family Husband in my own Royal Family Palace situated in Kingdom of Saudi Arabia or Dubai.
I want full peace of mind,peace of heart & peace of soul.
God Bless each and every girl The Perfect Match.Ameen.
Categories:
officiated, blessing, family, soulmate,
Form:
Heroic Couplet
Upon our (yours truly and his missus) exchanging holy matrimony vows
Ultrasound allowed, enabled
and provided obstetrician to zoom,
image courtesy sonogram
showing fledgling fetus,
thus we pledged our troth after spouses' womb
(approximately halfway
between her pregnancy) did balloon
uterus, wherein conception
delineated birth of eldest daughter, and many a tomb
morrow later she resides in Oakland, California.
I attempt reasonable rhyme about...
oh happy yesteryear
when newly minted groom (me) wed bride
family in attendance cried
as Justice of Peace officiated as legal guide
extolling pregnancy of she who could not hide
figurative bun in the oven which matured inside
after two gametes fused and multiplied
countless times quickly birthing embryo
baby on the way nullified
application of premarital sex
and attendant use of contraceptives.
Clear out of the blue
thee wife asked me
opinion if wedded bliss between us
ha, how heretical to think otherwise
since romance long since flew
out the figurative window
impossible mission to feign significant other
analogous to brand new
alluring, beguiling, captivating... tchotchke.
All kibitizing aside, a requited love with zeal
I attest invisible spokes support unseen wheel
when turning sparking genuine care and concern
act as buffer against emotional hemorrhage
and received good housekeeping approval seal
more applicable to most recent
elapsed wedding day anniversaries
ex post facto after both daughters flew the coop
finding me reeling with empty nest syndrome,
whenever yours truly reviews mental newsreel,
now absence of offspring, akin
to psychological wound I did heal
no longer mourning natural course
of begetting progeny more readily
accepting their necessary autonomy doth appeal.
Though marriage devoid of physical intimacy wife
get along swimmingly, we exhibit less strife
than days of yore effulgence promulgated
to all readers unbeknownst to human life
form characterized by bloke,
whose words appeared across screen
exemplifying, embodying, and edifying
regarding beloved simian counterpart
bandying playfully sometimes
drubbing and drumming my body
while she (commandeering
certain orifices of her body) emulates sounds of fife.
Categories:
officiated, adventure, age, anniversary, appreciation,
Form:
Rhyme
let be...the pressures
of mind...
as...traces of
a yesterdays...
lateness of...even-ing
your calendar...sit
please...andt
listen...to
your mourning...as
this mornings tempo...radio
programme plays...some of
the most...relaxing
classics...written
for...the years
to come andt...gone by
that...v'welcome you
to my...morning
v'world of...a v'wakening
mind...v'what be
your thoughts of...this
officiated morn or...mourn
stan sand
(piled)
Categories:
officiated, absence, cheer up, future,
Form:
Free verse
I find it strange that the so many Knights of Columbus don’t believe in a white knight marrying a brown woman today however some knights allow the knights to commit adultery within the church then fund abortions under Walmart cards on the low to protect some knights this luxury is set aside for immigrants woman non American woman definitely non African American women deeds of service knights of Columbus sleeping with catholic charities volunteers in vans right in the church parking lot the arch diocese was in a state I must say scandal hidden under charities to Honduras Puerto Rico Cuba non American the secret society of knights of Columbus arch diocese folds due to the quantity of Donation this is how Peter hid his affair with Jamaican jay from his wife in knowing of the secret society of the knights of Columbus I feel blessed my husband and I got Married July 8th 2016 in the court house in Bartow county instead of being officiated by this scum at that time scandal where priest collars fly off the necks I’m happy we made that choice to go with a traditional Military style wedding two people in love it was private quick no expensive guest away from the politics of a fallen church no black or white just us husband and wife just our love besides we didn’t want to wait to be married just in case a priest was reprimanded our marriage wouldn’t suffer hardship and scandal with boys or attacking me for being a direct descendants of Martin Luther King Jr and or his kind I embraced racism within the knights of Columbus I am at peace through it all we are true soul mates it’s a blessing to have a help mate a soul mate just like you hand picked from God himself we don’t need a crowd to celebrate our love every Anniversary starts July 4th and on July 8th we do something special with each other July is our month planting gardens feeding the cardinals watching them drink from our bird bath we painted together two toy poodles a ferret two turtles and us surrounding by plants we grew in my loft to something wonderful
Categories:
officiated, allah,
Form:
Naat