Retirement Due To Health Issues

The dear old pastor had occupied the same pulpit for years and years;
He preached fire, damnation and The Hereafter scorching his congregants ears!
He had baptized hordes of kids and officiated when they married,
And comforted many mourning souls when their loved-ones were buried!

He suffered through stormy sessions at the monthly meetings of The Board,
And withstood the bickering of sisters of The Women's Guild, utterly bored!
Some of his flock were as stubborn as army mules and were quite contrary!
He faced challenging situations that they didn't teach about in seminary!

He confided with his long-suffering wife proclaiming, "This is the pits!"
And after serving the Lord nigh on thirty years he decided to call it quits.
He advised The Board that he was retiring due to health issues, you see.
(Truth was, he quipped, "I was sick of them and they were sick of me!")
Copyright © | Year Posted 2023

Poem

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Elliott Avatar
November 8, 2023 at 6:44 AM
Hi Robert, yes, many pastors go through what you've described here in your stellar and truth telling poem. Wherever there's a gathering of people, there's going to be politics and all that goes with it, even in churches. All the best ~
Wolf Avatar
August 10, 2023 at 6:50 PM
Sound like this pastor is healthier than most. Great one, Robert! Keep 'em coming! :) Gershon
Kendrick Avatar
August 3, 2023 at 8:57 AM
Good one. Yes, many, many pastors don't make it, but a few years and they seek employment in the worldly avenue since the church has so many problems. Sad isn't it. Sara
Lindley Avatar
August 1, 2023 at 5:08 PM
My good friend, his is a great poem , as one can see it really happening. In fact, when i was 23 years old it happened at our church. At least that is how they told when our preacher just up and quit and moved away the same week. Fine poem and a fav too. God bless..
Hinshaw Avatar
August 2, 2023 at 6:34 AM
Thanks, Robert, for your support, encouragement over the years and your comment. iIm honored that you consider it a fav. It's surprising that it took the old pastor 30 years to suddenly become "ill"! Bob H
Brotherton Avatar
August 1, 2023 at 12:59 PM
Robert, another great one. I snorted out some Diet Pepsi when I read the last line.
Hinshaw Avatar
August 2, 2023 at 6:35 AM
Thanks Jerry - glad you enjoyed it! Happy you didn't choke on your Pepsi! Bob H
Dietrich Avatar
July 28, 2023 at 2:56 PM
Good one. Very good!
Hinshaw Avatar
July 28, 2023 at 4:18 PM
Thank you, Andrea - I cherish your comments and support - Bob H
Merryman Avatar
July 25, 2023 at 7:32 PM
Robert, I enjoyed reading this very much! That ending made me laugh out loud! Blessings, Kim M
Hinshaw Avatar
July 25, 2023 at 7:37 PM
Thank you so much, Kim! If my nonsense brings out emotions, such as a good laugh, I feel I've done my job as a writer. Bob H
Fisher Avatar
July 25, 2023 at 5:04 PM
This is great, and loved the ending!
Hinshaw Avatar
July 25, 2023 at 7:35 PM
Thanks David - glad you enjoyed this bit of nonsense. Best on you - Bob H
Allison Avatar
July 25, 2023 at 3:18 PM
what a witty poem indeed - in this day and age he is lucky to get any congregation at all if the churches on our ilsand are anything to go by!! hugs JAN xx
Hinshaw Avatar
July 25, 2023 at 3:41 PM
Thank you, Jan. You are so right - there are many empty pews these days and many pastors get burned out. Bob H
Romios Avatar
July 25, 2023 at 3:11 PM
What a novel write, Bob! Most pastors are close to their flocks! In the poem, he served the Lord for many Years That’s an overwhelming thought. There’s a quote I love ….about serving others. You inspired me to write a poem about it! Thanks Pangie
Hinshaw Avatar
July 25, 2023 at 3:42 PM
Thank you, Pangie. Am anxious to see your write! Bob H
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