Best Nervously Poems
The perky saleslady looked at my aging bicycle
and asked if I would consider a newer model
something lighter
something sexier.
I told her, "My bike and I have a delicious history -
our past and future have merged into a single trajectory,
we're in this together for the long ride.
"I don't think of her as old, she is 'vintage'
we've been through many miles together -
seen breathtaking vistas.
"She knows what direction I want to go even before I do.
We have scars from the journey but each scar has a story
and every story brings a smile.
"Yes, we're slowing down and every ride feels uphill,
but for better or worse, she's never given up on me -
I owe her the same courtesy."
The saleslady chuckled nervously and said,
"Do you know you sound like you're talking about your wife?"
I got on my bike and said,
"I do".
Written 1 Nov 2020
Categories:
nervously, love, marriage, relationship,
Form:
Free verse
Pleasure threw a party for her friends to come,
she sent invitations out to each and every one.
There were 10 responses and Pleasure did assume
it would be fun to see them interacting in one room.
Unfortunately the 10 who were about to show
had issues with each other ,things she didn’t know.
Joy had left depression just a month before,
couldn’t tolerate his negativity no more.
Paranoia kept Bewildered so confused,
the more mixed up she got the more he was amused.
Affection tried to help Obsession understand,
how her food addiction was getting out of hand.
Apathy was drinking wine coolers as a crutch,
all emotions were aware that she indulged too much.
Acceptance and Joy showed up late but seemed content,
they were welcome at every emotional event.
Depression was not over Joy, he saw her and felt blue,
Bewildered was sure that Paranoia hid her shoe.
Anxiety lost Acceptance and nervously confessed
he brought Assertiveness to help him mingle with the rest.
Affection accused Obsession of eating the buffet,
Paranoia tried to leave, Assertiveness stood in his way,
in the kitchen drinking by herself was Apathy,
Joy and Acceptance both enjoyed the hospitality.
Then Joy helped Bewildered put both of her shoes on,
Paranoia fell for Apathy, they both stayed till dawn.
Acceptance told Anxiety she 'd liked him as a friend,
Affection said “I’m sorry” to Obsession in the end.
Pleasure was quite happy only 10 guests were there,
if there had been more it might have been a wild affair,
each one settled, got along and as you can presume
all emotions set in motion made for a busy room.
Categories:
nervously, funny, emotions, joy,
Form:
Quatrain
Un-nerved by formal sentencing assemblies,
Marks and Words, bound by conjunctive amenity.
The tried beliefs that short cuts speed words into action.
Made stuffy Old School feel out of fashion.
Punctuation board-slams her silver gavel;
“A shortened distance, yet far to travel.”
Marks are pushed into line to enter their plea.
Dash Dash Dash has trailing thoughts…
Comment remarks that it thinks too much.
Question Mark, curiously rotund and stout,
asks “What’s this meeting all about?”.
Proud Period, acquainted with the strident rituals of formality,
Quickly departs, leaving a daunting spot of terse finality.
Comma’s game of pause and snag,
grammatically adheres to one of tag.
Overwrought Exclamation Mark, nervously blurts:
“Unruly disorder can make matters worse!”.
Semi colon maintaining proper pauses,
Stays anchored between compelling clauses.
Colon fearful of growling barks,
snuggles closer to Quotation Marks.
Apostrophe’s like for word possession,
worries over changing word obsession
Oh, Oh! Oh? Oh…
These are shameful attempts to monopolize,
Even with trite words, of unassuming size.
.
Punctuation thinks her identity’s impaired
Might she be confused with the shrew, Grammar?
She calls to order a capitol thought.
sliding up to Exclamation Mark, shouts “’STOP!’
The object of this meeting,
Is not subject to self- beating.
No presence is here to criticize, or chastises,
nor harmonize.
If getting through is what stays true.
Will be understood by some , but always to you.”.
Categories:
nervously, identity,
Form:
Free verse
I had an alien for two weeks before I realized how unusual she was.
I wish I could be a mouse in the corner, I had said, and I was.
My alien gave me a cracker, patted me on the head, and reminded me
Once again, how important it is to keep her earth-visit quiet from the masses.
I nibbled on the cracker nervously, wondering how long I would be stuck
Wearing this smelly fur suit, dragging this ugly super long tail?
Praying that Shark, my killer cat was out hunting somewhere else.
Poof! I was back in my normal body.
What other talents do you have? I asked my alien friend.
Not in words because aliens from the two-galaxies-over talk in thoughts.
I am a tripartite, she tele-pathed to me.
What’s that?
Her body immediately transmogrified into three separate, untouching-pieces.
Before I could close my shocked wide-open mouth, she had transmuted back into one complete alien.
Can you disappear? I asked her.
That was the last I ever saw of her.
Some days, however, I feel that she is here, invisible, watching me,
On those days, I wonder if I am going to find
Myself munching on a cracker.
Categories:
nervously, 2nd grade, 3rd grade,
Form:
Prose Poetry
BUYING CONDOMS
I was desperate to buy me some condoms
On a Wednesday morning in June
My girlfriend had made me a promise
And we were meeting up that afternoon
For she'd noticed that in my frustration
My flat....which I kept fairly neat
Now had fingernail marks on the ceiling
And teethmarks on the toilet seat
So she promised an hour of pleasure
As pleasurable as it could be
She wanted fifty eight minutes
With the other two minutes for me
Now you folks are probably thinking
Splitting an hour like that was a crime
But in my mood of complete desperation
Two minutes seemed like a long time
So I stood in a queue in the chemist's
Hoping to be quite discrete
While the lady in front bought and paid for
Corn plasters to stick on her feet
And when my turn came I was gutted
I though 'this must be a joke'
For a gorgeous young girl came to serve me
I was wanting a grizzly old bloke
Embarrassed I picked up some aspirin
But her smile put me quickly at ease
She said as she took the box from me
'Would you like some condoms with these?'
'We have them in black, red or tartan
And ribbed ones to last a long time'
'Do you have a favourite flavour?
We have peppermint, strawberry or lime'
'Flavours?'........ I nervously stuttered
'Strawberry?.......'Is that what you said?'
'These things are to go on my winkie'
'Not between two slices of bread'
She chuckled away as she wrapped them
She'd decided on tartan and lime
And smiled as she gave me the packet
Then wished me a really good time
I dashed around home in a frenzy
The minutes were ticking away
My girlfriend was coming here shortly
For our sixty minutes of play
My clothes hit the floor in a heartbeat
I put on my condom with glee
And the first that she saw, as she opened the door
Was my tartan condom and me
She screamed as the door closed behind her
Her face like a deathly white mask
Then pointed and silently shuddered,
'What're you going to do with that flask?'
I chuckled 'It isn't a flask it's a condom'
Tartan and flavoured with lime'
With disgust she turned and departed
Walking out for the very last time
So my day of passion was stifled
I didn't make it as far as the bed
And as my condoms were lime flavour
I had them with corn flakes instead
Categories:
nervously, humor, humorous,
Form:
Quatrain
PAS MUET
I am a puppy here
The smallest
The skinniest
The silentest (is that even a word)
Stotteraar
Bègue
I wheel my wheels among them
The alpha dogs
The loud ones
I am silent
Bègue
My eyes are open wide
I watch them
Follow their every move
My mouth clammed shut
Bègue
My hands write nervously
On my notepad
With my pencil
My words arranged in neat sentences
Bègue
He understands though
He smiles with fun, no pity there
We go way back
He is my psychiatrist.
Bègue
In silence I contemplate
But silent I am not
My words are multi coloured
I like them
Niet stom
Not mute
Pas muet.
Pas muet.
***
December 30, 2016
Categories:
nervously, depression, i am, mental
Form:
Free verse
One walked out
One walked in
I sat nervously in reception
Waiting for my torture to begin
Bouts of laughter came from the interview room
Knocking my confidence with each bout
I didn’t want to be there anymore
Tempted to just forget it and walk out
The door opened she came out smiling
My turn to face the panel of three
They were all very nice
Though it actually didn’t help me
The interview in full motion
Questions and scenarios galore
Confident in my responses
Of them l felt quite sure
However, there was a problem
One l had never experienced before
I could not stop saying long ‘ummms’
Every-time l opened my mouth which was impossible to ignore
I apologised for the ongoing ummms
Explained it was just nerves
Next thing that came out my mouth
Yes, you guessed it….’ummm’ before my words
I left the interview feeling completely humiliated
I cried whenever the interview came to mind
I was so disappointed and embarrassed of myself
It was obvious the position was not mine
The letter arrived... l wasn’t interested
As l knew already what it said
I simply glanced at it
My husband read it instead
‘You got the job Deb’, he told me
You can imagine my utter surprise
Handing me the letter
I honestly could not believe my eyes
After working the job for some time
I enquired why they had chosen me
My interview was not my finest hour
With me ummming constantly
She told me there was something about me
That just shone through
Even with all your ummming, she smiled
We decided this job was for you
The lesson l learnt and want to convey in this long winded story is
it doesn’t always have to be perfect or right
Sometimes in life ‘it just is ‘…. simply meant to be
Ummm…..and for you the universe just shines bright!
Categories:
nervously, anxiety, confidence, fate,
Form:
Rhyme
A forest - sunlight squeezing through the arms
uplifted by its countless ancient trees.
So fortress-like; her inner royal charms
even the time-worn traveler seldom sees.
What culture lies within? What foreign tongue
is chattered nervously by bird and beast?
What joyful hymns of revelry are sung
which, by my drawing near, in fear are ceased?
My love, those hidden parts I find unique
are those which I would most desire to know.
Dark corners which I least wish you to seek -
the very ones you need the light to show.
Though brighter are the colors from outside,
let's pledge to let no hues within us hide.
Categories:
nervously, love, nature,
Form:
Sonnet
As the chandelier dances with lustrous light.
Eras of still slumber awoken...from fluid dreams,
...in the depths of her confines...hibernating..
..fermenting her taste...timeless beauty.
Legends of vineyards past...uncorked.
Poured into existence by a charming present sommelier..
The bubbling prelude enters...a smoke filled scene.
Her sparkling silhouette...emerges on a silver platter.
...of her bottled mystery of decades past.
Penning the inception of empty chapters of glass...
..with her sweet tasting presence...
...nervously sweating condensation.
Fulfilling the myths of bottled beauty of life’s unknowns.
Overflowing the pages...in liquid stanzas
...of dazzling passion.
Her legacy manifests...scripting an ardent saga,
Staining the aura of pleasant reality.
Shining elegantly...while striding across marble floors.
Echoing...soft chronicles of champagne light.
Love, a crimson...virgin berry...plucked from vineyards afar..
...bottled for aging beauty...filled to the capacity of his clear figure..
While passionately...embraced by his fragileness of crystal arms.
...in the ballad of wine and glass.
Categories:
nervously, love
Form:
Free verse
On a golden carpet of lustrous laurel
another red leaf in amber blaze gleams,
twirling to trumpets in waltz so aural
blanket of glorious crimson autumn dreams.
Iridescent veil orchestrates blue fir trees
maple shimmers in draped sequins of crystal dew,
swaying to layered hums of shivering breeze
blazing in flames of proliferous mauve hue.
Immersed in aroma of wet mountain slumber
lavender dusk nervously cuddles silver frost,
spreading gossamer melody on emerging umber
bathing in scarlet rays, broken twigs embossed.
Symphony of scintillating fervent topaz seas
disperses from azure palate on electric sky,
dripping to crevices of haloed tides to appease
mellows of echoing wind for sandcastles to fly.
Exploding ecstasy of an embellished petal springs
peeping through rivulets in reaping wisps of desire,
to a moonlit bridge, my whispering red leaf clings
longing to strum tender strings in autumn's bonfire.
August 6, 2020
Nature Rhyming Poetry Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Brenda Chiri
~Winner: 2nd Place
Categories:
nervously, analogy, autumn, nature,
Form:
Rhyme
Wiping the cold sweat off my forehead
Standing beside the dying king’s bed
Thinking of a remedy while a sword
Was pointed to my shivering neck
I was praying not to fail, I begged the lord
But how can I heal a man this old and sick?
The tension was in the air
Combined with stressing anticipation
Their eyes angrily at me did stare
Expecting me to bring him salvation!
“If he dies, you die”, said the guard
“So you better do your best”, he went on
But what to do for an old dying heart?
A heart of a tyrant that’s black and dun
A tyrant who ruled us with injustice and suppression
Who made us live years of starvation and depression
How disgraced I am to be his royal physician!
I’ve been praying to god for forgiveness and remission
A tyrant who did everything to keep the crown
And killed so many to save his throne and rod
Who made horror in every city and town
So nobody could to him object nor stood
(He did all that to have authority and wealth
But ironically he didn’t know how to keep heath
He thought that he’d live and enjoy them forever
Well, on that he doesn’t seem very clever!)
But this Dark Age is finally to end
The revolution started to rise
I may do what I didn’t tend
And I’m not sure if it’ll be so wise
But at least it will be fair
The revolution heat is everywhere
So Apologizes to Hippocrates's oath
(I think he’d forgive me, if he knew the cause!)
He’d think it’s not a deed that’s moral
But these values are merely oral
And didn’t stop poverty nor hunger
The people became full of hate and anger
That their king ran over them with his horse
And enslaved them with his vicious soldiers
That he didn’t once hesitate to use force
The people became martyrs by royal orders!
“Come on, be quick” nervously the guard said
I started to search for some death in my bag
Then I spoke: okay, you can call the maid
He went to bring her and they both came back
On my way out I said: give him this three times a day
And his majesty must in his bed lie
(He won’t suffer much anyway,
Because in two days time
He shall die!)
Categories:
nervously, corruption, death, fantasy,
Form:
Rhyme
This long awaited date -
a hoedown it’s to be
shy smiles as we head in
we touch hands nervously
We allemande left and do-si-do
Then both head ladies chain
and breathlessly we meet
in each other’s arms again
We swirl in sawdust on the floor
to the tune sweet Bye and Bye
Evocative is the patter
as the gold moon rises high
An anticipated moment
as the fiddle fades away
Your denim and my lace
soon lie buried in the hay
Sweet echoes of the evening
fill passion in the soul
Upon the amber straw
we both have lost control
written October 27, 2014 by Rick Parise and Andrea Dietrich
For Shadow Hamilton's Cowboy Hoe Down Contest
Categories:
nervously, dance, romantic,
Form:
Quatrain
We were kissing behind the bike sheds
The future Mrs Bronte and I
Get yourselves up to see the head
We heard our teacher cry.
The headmaster said I'd gone too far
Practicing to save my future wife
I really shouldn't have unhooked your bra
Or given you the kiss of life.
We stood in his room in front of head
Our eyes looking down, both our faces bright red
Darren shifted nervously from side to side
Don’t worry Darren one day I’ll be your bride
I begged the head please don’t make us cool our ardour
In our biology practical we’d been told to try much harder
He said 'I was young once I’ll give you one more chance
I can’t stand in the way of a budding new romance'
Our classmates asked but we wouldn't tell
What the headmaster had to say
After school we stopped beside the wishing well
We passed along the way
We kissed each other then kissed our penny
Then watched the penny fall
The kisses we've shared over the years have been so many
We have no regrets at all.
16th May 2014
Written by Jan Allison & Darren Watson
Categories:
nervously, first love, romance, school,
Form:
Rhyme
What a beautiful, romantic day
Most wonderful day of my life
I soak up the sun, every ray
We're going to be husband and wife
The wedding cake's beautiful but where's the knife?
And where's my dad? He should be here
To give me away, oh my, oh dear!
Oh my God! What a Stag Night
I can't quite remember, what did we do?
Why's there a tattoo on my butt on the right?
And why is half my hair blue?
I'm panicking now about what will ensue
When in the shower blue dye starts to disappear
And the girl's name just dissolves from my rear.
I'm loving the stairs on the cake
A three layer
A triple dare
Of a husband number three
My beautiful day, I swirl for the show
Hubby number three won't be free for a while.
Still puzzling, how did I get here?
A triple trouble stands in front of me
The bachelor party a couple of nights ago
I wish I was free again
The knife in the cake crumbles as the sweet cake is savoured.
As the blushing bride I look all around
My brothers and sisters, eyes open wide
They look at the cake and at the groom frown
But they're smacking their lips but not at the bride
The church doors are locked, everyone is inside
When will the service be over, how long will it take?
Before they can get their hands on that cake.
As the blushing groom I nervously look at a sister
The brothers are scowling, her kids just grinning
Don't think you can back out now mister
My fate is sealed, my head is spinning
The priest calls to order, the service beginning
I glance across at the majestic cake
Like Kilimanjaro no knife could it break.
The wedding day rings dancing on the plate
Waiting to be worn on this forever date
The service ends, the wedding bells still ringing
The now wife and husband each having
A million thoughts running
The groom takes a quick glance at his years of single
The bride not holding back on this mingle.
She loving the stairs on the cake
A three layer, a triple dare
Of a husband number three
He is still puzzling, how he got here
The cake demolished to only one crumb
Just like his chances of being free
Categories:
nervously, marriage, relationship,
Form:
Prose Poetry
A welcome sight the lights ahead - like misty globules on ink black foam
The billboard elicits a sense of foreboding - Welcome to the Midnight Bazaar
A lack luster moon adds to the mystery – nervously I enter to ask my way home
A familiar song plays in the somewhere, the name eludes me - how bizarre
Somberly dressed people scurry past- eyes focused on illuminated screens
Refusing contact, shoving past rudely as I ask where this place would be
One of them in riddles tells me - this is home - the place to be it seems
I wonder if the scales of reality have tipped in favor of insanity
A stall arouses my curiosity and I look as a butcher of sorts places
Bleeding hearts getting desired effect - starts a pushing jostling frenzy
Uninterested in the clowns on stilts with their painted morbid faces
Children walk with sullen looks - expressionless eyes that fail to see
Crowds clamor to buy sea food - how absurd - especially as a smell of decay prevails
Fresh produce on sale with dyed color bleeding and truffles of mud is there something amiss
A man wanders around with passports on offer - Buy yourself a Life - his sign displays
Relief at last - a stall with books and maps – here is my escape from this tainted Abyss
This God forsaken place is not where I wish to stay
And I must strive to leave it before the light of day
An exorbitant sum I pay eager to escape his cloying breath, his black toothed smile
A commotion at the far end - some sort of bidding - curiously I venture courage giving me wings
A sign proclaims ‘Souls For Sale’- in rage I scream ‘you cannot sell souls - This is so Vile ‘
Dark soulless eyes in chalk white faces – Bore right through me – Look right through me
I run screaming, falling, clawing the map that shows all roads lead back to this Hell - I scream
Waking myself - knowing the name of that song still in my head - Shaking from this macabre dream
Footnote:
This was not meant to be a pretty poem. It exaggerates the state of a world that has seemingly lost its focus and empathy. Let's not let this happen
Take a bit of Dean Kontz, Stephen King and the unnatural things going on with food enhancements and you have the stage set for a macabre nightmare!
Categories:
nervously, dark, dream, fear, scary,
Form:
Dramatic Verse