Best Marti Poems
A man with a quiet demeanor
was cursed with a miniscule wiener.
He tried lotions and pills
But not one cured his ills.
Now he's a silent nail hole cleaner.
BY DALE GREGORY COZART
His todger though tiny still worked.
When he went for a wee it jerked.
He could still have full sex.
It was rather complex,
but when it was over he smirked.
BY JAN ALLISON
His wee-wee was indeed very wee
to the extent that no one could see.
When asked, “Are you a man?”
He replied, “Yes, I am.
You can follow up stream when I pee.”
BY DALE GREGORY COZART
Went out for a night with a hooker
Blonde but thick and no looker
When she saw his todger
Said my dog is bigger
You're taking me for a sucker
BY SEREN ROBERTS
A silent curse shrunk his wee to a teeny thing
I swear it is no bigger than a lil chicken wing
For sex a useless reject
Can't tell when its erect
We make jokes about his miniature ding a ling
BY MARTI
Wait a minute please, I won't tell a lie
isn't always small, it's big as apple pie
the winds were mighty chilly
affecting my poor old Willie
now you hurt my feelings, think I'm gonna cry
BY TIM SMITH
Big Bertha said, "It ain't the cubic inches
nope, the part for me what clinches
is strokes per minute
while they's in it
not a tool needs movin' with winches."
BY LIM'RICK FLATS
if you want join in the fun!
Categories:
marti, body, humor,
Form:
Limerick
There's a pesky mosquito hoverin' around our ears
If he keeps it up he'll soon be splattered in smears
T-Buzz tries to draw our blood
When he gets hit with a THUD!
We'll celebrate his demise with a party ~ Cheers!
by Lin Lane
A mini vampire with wings,
in annoying high notes he sings.
Tries to fly incognito,
this imp called mosquito.
With blood thirsty appetite stings!
by Carol Connell
That darn mozzie was buzzing like hell
Til I sprayed him with a can of Repell
He can no longer fly
I watched that mozzie die
I’m happy he’s gone – you can tell!
by Jan Allison
That skeeter was in for a thumpin'.
I swatted, but he just kept jumpin'.
I got out the spray,
winked, said, “Come my way”.
And now I'm no longer a-grumpin'
by Dale G. Cozart
There's a pesky bug upon the lawn
One his mother should have never spawn
making noises here and there
wish he'd just disappear
One big ol' zap and poof he's gone
by Tim Smith
T-Buzz flies around in pestering irritation
One good swat'll take care of his elimation
No more buzzin' sound
He's garbage can bound
Thank goodness there's no reincarnation
by Marti Sutherland
I was singing karaoke, acapella
While eating a sandwich of mortadella
Along came a mosquito
Named Little Esposito
I smacked him cuz he wasn't a nice fella
By Mystic Rose
A skeeter singing for a favor
Was wanting blood for a caper
He's playing with fire
His future is dire
Joining others on my wallpaper
By Cheryl Hoffman
A mosquito was buzzing loud
Of his bugle, he felt so proud
My hands would squash fast
That buzz would be his last
Soon, he'd be covered with a shroud
by Jo Daniel
If anyone dislikes the buzzing of a mosquito, join in the collaboration by sending me your lines in a SOUP MAIL.
Categories:
marti, humorous, insect,
Form:
Limerick
I followed that cad Robyn Hood
and discovered he's up to no good
An expert at cheating
bad mouthing and bleating
His actions I've not understood
Oh how awful that folks feel so glum
Many now call him Robyn Hoodlum
He's a raunchy thief
who brought them to grief
He preyed on the blind, deaf, and dumb
Robyn has folks dancing like Muppets
He loves to treat them like puppets
He tugs at their strings
and then clips their wings
No wonder their confidence plummets
Heard the sheriff will arrest him soon
Robyn will be singing a new tune
While sitting in jail
He will cry and wail
In sorrow for acting like a goon
Sheriff found out Robyn is a girl
Her real name is Antoinette Pearl
Robyn Hoodlum wed
Now the sheriff is dead
and Robyn is engaged to an earl
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fairytale plot by Jan Allison, Marti Sutherland, and Lin Lane
Categories:
marti, silly,
Form:
Limerick
I don't want a flimsy daisy chain love
one the slightest breeze will sever apart
Their blooms are as pure as a turtle dove
I won't play childish games with my heart
Plucking flower petals, I would never do
for he either loves me, or he loves me not
Cupid drew his little bow and an arrow flew
He missed but I consider it a warning shot
Love is seldom simple. I'm aware of that
Unless built on honesty, it will surely fail
The man I will love must wear a white hat
not some scoundrel who carries a tall tale
The truth in matters will someday be told
So I'll not pluck daisies and strip them bare
One day my heart will discover and enfold
the hero searching for me, his own lady fair
July 7th, 2017
*Thank you, Marti Sutherland, for writing in tandem with me.
Categories:
marti, flower, love,
Form:
Rhyme
Cuba…Mamma Mia…like most of the Caribbean; part of the 1492 slam…
Slavery, sugar plantations… invasions, upheaval, independence…
Then the American kisses; with a slight twist…who initiated the ’disses’…?
Was it Blaine…is he insane…?
Was it Marti…the heart of the party…?
Or Teller…many say he was the real speller…
Or Estrada Palma…could he have been the calmer…?
Was it San Martin…any questions of his parting…?
Or was it Batista…is he the real twister…?
With his interwove of expansion…then stagnation and dissatisfaction…
Coupled with his increased economic regulation plan…
Was this the spike for the revolution…?
Enter Castro; was he the real maestro…his thoughts, his plans; communize the land…?
Centralize, non-democratize…ostracize, reorganize…
The politics…were they laden in tricks…?
The CIA; not here to stay… but what role did they play…?
When they realize the RAF size…what will they emphasize…?
With great plans to defeat…did they end in retreat…?
Now with Eisenhower…speculations of a great shower…
But after only months…fixation shift to ouster hunts…
Severed diplomatic relations…the new sensation…
Impositions of trade embargo…the ‘Fargo’ in my cargo…?
The ‘Bay of Pigs’…will you understand the gigs…?
The ‘Cuban Missile Crisis’…what was this Tri-fit…?
The military games…were these substances in flames…?
For a superpower war…or the everlasting scars…?
Of suppression, political persecution…migration, and interventions…
In Angola, and Ethiopia…from Nicaragua to North Africa…
To the Congo…to some say; ‘Jah Mek Yah’…?
Cooperation with Russia…was this the real crusher…?
The mid-eighties…the beginning of their ending gaiety’s…?
The dissolving of the Soviet Union…continuation of the country’s isolations…
Reduced rations…the new fashion…
Unpainted buildings…now the in-thing…
Old vehicles with limited repairs…any scares…?
Lack of electricity…did it colour the ethnicity…?
A country on the verge…is there a new urge…?
Tourist attraction…one logical concoction…
Amidst the flow…of system many Cubans know…
The US now attests…it is in the country’s interest…
Cuba has withstood the test…put the embargo to rest…?
Categories:
marti, inspirational, international, political,
Form:
ABC
Hello,
My name is Marti-not short for anything
you won't see my name in a card catalog
because I've never written a novel
or even a short story-well-not one
that's been published
You might find my name online
but it won't be because I'm famous
I shy from limelight
but my name will be among you
on each poem I share
Categories:
marti,
Form:
Bio
Vo thandi sarsarati hawa
Mujhe kuch keh ke chali gayi
Ranj-o-gam ki syahi me lipti
Kuch panne zindagi ke bhar gayi
Panne jab palat ke dekhe
To ek kahani simti dikhi
Na jane kab se dhool me padi thi
Kisi ke jeevan ki rubai mitati chali gayi
Kayi saal ho gaye uss sehar ko guzre hue
Ab to door tak vo hawa fir dikhti nahi
Meri zindagi ke vo panne jo usne bhare the
Unme jhakti meri rooh bhi marti rahi
Na jane vo hawa kya kehna chahti thi
Uski parchai bhi sirf yadon ko naseeb thi
Raton me bhi uska hi khayal ata he
Hum samajhte rahe aur vo udti chali gayi
Categories:
marti, hindi, life,
Form:
Light Verse
I’ve utilized cleavage to get out of a ticket or two
One time I had a very fun rendezvous involving fondue
Ohh and that time with the old boyfriend and the canoe
Do you know how many things you can do with a kazoo?
One night stands? I’ll only admit to a few!
I had a morning of bliss with the tour guide at the zoo
I proudly joined the mile high club the last time I flew
That afternoon with my piano teacher…yabbadabbadoo!
I had my own pre Marti Gras parade just of the blew
I sure did give a thrill to the guy who works the drive-through
I’m elated that the hunky cop was into it too
How do I get to the top? I bet you wish you knew!
****I apologize up front to all of my conservative friends here at the Soup :)*****
****For Shani's "Tell me a secret contest-Won 2nd Place!!!*****
****For the record...one 'secret' on the list IS true-and it just wouldn't be any fun if I told ya which :)
Categories:
marti, passion, time, fun, time,
Form:
Monorhyme
A Collaboration with Marti Sutherland
Circling the table before they feast, black ravens crow
bright beady eyes darting to and fro, away they go
landing on a wounded body that has not yet died
circling the skies before they feast, dark ravens cried
On their bellies through titanic grass, slimy snakes slither
forked tongues searching for innocent prey, coming hither
Reptiles crawling from under rocks, cold-blooded and chilled
their fangs leaving lethal bites, and another victim is killed
skulking in shifting shadows, deceitful humans lie in wait
Bearing no name, no face; beware of the wicked who hate
Brutal bashers who take what they want at the cost of life
Back stabbers living in a harsh world where hypocrisy is rife
Ravens, snakes and evil humans sit on thrones of deceit
Like black widows they feast on their mates when they cheat
They spin their lies so easily, like the sticky web of a spider
Beware you are not caught when their mouths open wider
Categories:
marti, anti bullying, anxiety, art,
Form:
Choka
I don’t have a favourite;
I love each and every one
Whether happy or sad
Cheerful or glum
I love tarty Marti
And svelter Delta
Sloppy Poppy
And vulgar Olga
I love baddy Maddie
And angrier Andrea
Clean Jean
And fairer Farah
I love scorer Pandora
And messy Bessie
Gaudy Maudie
And sassie Cassie
I love a damp vamp
To tell the truth
Or Horny Dawny
And uncouth Ruth
Categories:
marti, funny, love,
Form:
Rhyme
I don’t have a favourite,
I love each and every one
Whether happy or sad
Cheerful or glum
I love Grim Kim
And Moanie Toni
Henpecky Becky
And Naggy Maggie
I love Bella Stella
And Indie Lindy
Funny Honey
And Windy Cindy
I love Tarty Marti
And Burley Shirley
The Felon Helen
And that twirly girlie
I love Flabby Gabby
And Escapee Lee
Chardonnay Kay
And Meat free Fi
I love Prudy Judy
And Racy Macy
Pristine Christine
And Straight Lacy Tracy
Categories:
marti, funny, girlfriend-boyfriendlove,
Form:
I followed that cad Robyn Hood
and discovered he's up to no good
An expert at cheating
bad mouthing and bleating
His actions I've not understood
Oh how awful that folks feel so glum
Many now call him Robyn Hoodlum
He's a raunchy thief
who brought them to grief
He preyed on the blind, deaf, and dumb
Robyn has folks dancing like Muppets
He loves to treat them like puppets
He tugs at their strings
and then clips their wings
No wonder their confidence plummets
Heard the sheriff will arrest him soon
Robyn will be singing a new tune
While sitting in jail
He will cry and wail
In sorrow for acting like a goon
Sheriff found out Robyn is a girl
Her real name is Antoinette Pearl
Robyn Hoodlum wed
Now the sheriff is dead
and Robyn is engaged to an earl
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
11-01-17
Fairytale plot by Jan Allison, Marti Sutherland, and Lin Lane
Categories:
marti, fun, humorous,
Form:
Limerick
provided weapons, training &
billions of dollars in aid (your tax
dollars) to Afghan militants opposing
the Soviet Union in Afghanistan
between 1979 and 1989, helping to
fortify the mujahideen & create the
now infamous al-Qaida---
provided support to the Polish
Solidarity movement from 1980-
1981, initially to fight the Soviet
Union’s influence there, however
subsequently supporting the
government’s own oppression of
its people---
sweat & toiled for 9 years from
1981 to 1990, trying desperately to
remove the Nicaragua’s Sandinista
government---
helped the military government of
El Salvador from 1980 to 1992 to
engage their death squads in the
oppression of the Farabundo Marti
National Liberation Front---
backed Ayad Allawi’s resistance
in Iraq from 1992 to 1995, in the
attempt to dismantle Saddam
Hussein’s regime---
supported the Venezuelan coup in
2002---
provided millions of dollars to
Fatah in Palestine in order to
overthrow Hamas rule in Gaza,
in particular the failed coup of
2008---
gave financial support to
anti-Islamic warlords in 2006
Somalia---
pumped hundreds of millions of
dollars into Iran’s resistance to
the government there between
2005 and present day, in
desperate hope that they will
be destroyed from within---
overthrew Muammar Qaddafi
in 2011 Libya with help from
the opposition there---
and Syria is next folks.
Categories:
marti, life,
Form:
Free verse
Eve’s wedding dress is dirty and tattered;
She’d had fun at her divorce paint party,
With bright paint it’s now messy and splattered!
Her ex husband has run off with Marti,
(At one time she had been Eve’s closest friend)
Eve’s now renounced her old surname McCarty.
In the future her broken heart may mend;
She’s determined to get on with her life -
Her lovely neighbors have been a godsend!
Eve is saddened she’s no longer a wife,
But she’s well rid of the marital strife!
T form Contest
Sponsored by Broken Wings
Checked with rhymezone and how many syllables
08-17-17
Categories:
marti, betrayal, divorce, moving on,
Form:
Terza Rima
There once was a lady called Marti
Who set up a swinger’s sex party
She picked up some keys
Said I hope that these
Belong to that stallion Artie!
03~29~17
Categories:
marti, humorous, sexy,
Form:
Limerick