Best Maniac Poems
(A parody of the Modern Major-General's Song from "The Pirates of Penzance" by Gilbert and Sullivan.)
I am the very model of a very stable genius.
Compared to mine all others’ ...brains... are positively weeny; yes,
My grasp of science, history, and law is astronomical.
No need to read; I go by feel! (It’s highly economical.)
My sober tweets would make a truly fine encyclopedia
For fighting lies of traitors in the damn elitist media.
It’s sad how badly haters hate and treat me like a meanie; yes,
And all because I am, in fact, a very stable genius.
I see the world in black and white; hooray for monochromacy!
It shows the unnecessity of nuance and diplomacy.
No matter what I do, my fans consider me adorable;
Their loyalty to how I roll is not the least deplorable.
A win like mine (I surely could have had a clear majority!)
By common wisdom should confer a little more authority.
In short, I envy autocrats like Kim and Mussolini; yes,
I am the very model of a very stable genius.
Categories:
maniac, funny, humor, humorous, mental
Form:
Rhyme
Her world is black. Dark,dismal,depressed.
She sees through the eyes of a maniac. Not a killer,but a twisted mess.
She is damaged. Torn apart at the very core of her soul. She is me, and I am her.
She desperately wants to end this charade. This bleak excuse for a life. That light at the end
of the tunnel seems to beckon her to come. But there is one single thing that keeps her
clinging to this existence. That keeps her from becoming a part of that light.
Her name is Avaya. An angelic little girl with hair like fire,eyes of the deepest blue skies ,and
a laugh that lights up the deepest,darkest places in her mind. She seems to be the very
breathe of life, the only life jacket in a sea of a hundred thousand miles.
The little girl is there with her once again and she is plunged into a different world. A world of
incredible beauty. Here she feels loved. Accepted! This is where she belongs. The little girl
will forever have her heart. Forever be her heart. "Mommy loves you baby! Please stay here
with me!"
But in an instant everything begins to fade. She can feel the little girl being ripped from her
arms. She desperately clings to her heart, but it is torn away from her, along with all the
great feelings that she thought would last forever.
Back in this maniacs mind, she sees the light. She must fight to keep herself from it. From
becoming one with the end of her existence. For she knows that her little angel will once
more come and save her from this life, if only for a second. So she shrinks into the darkness
and stares through the eyes of a maniac, waiting for her heart to return.
Categories:
maniac, angst, daughter, depression, loss,
Form:
Dramatic Verse
He believes that his life is a big joke;
a play that was written for him before
he was born. Sometimes he prays,
asking God to change his character;
a young man who loses bets of any kind,
often wakes up in a dumpsite smelling liquor,
hears a suicide incident and wishes he was the one....
Freewill doesn't exist in his school of thought. He believes
the Cosmic Playwright sometimes sleeps,
as His plays keep running....
Categories:
maniac, confusion, god, imagery, life,
Form:
Narrative
Theomania's easy to see
in one holding the presidency.
When megalomanic,
his tweeting gets frantic.
All his money could buy therapy!
At least now there's hope if you vent
whenever you have discontent.
Should you think you are God,
though you're only a sod,
you could one day become president.
Oct. 22, 2017 for The Mania Contest of Lewis Raynes
Categories:
maniac, humor,
Form:
Limerick
I’m a maniac.
So is everyone
Or they are just dull—by default.
I’ve always been excited
About something or the other—all my life.
I was, for instance, a cricket maniac once,
Swinging the bat,
Though I didn’t swing well at all;
And watching matches day in day out.
But match-fixing dampened my spirits
And the media reports proved an effective antidote.
Currently, I’m a poetry maniac.
My poems sometimes have traces
Of pacifist mania, or purist mania,
Or sometimes a political mania.
Thus, poetry for me is a mania matrix.
Now that I can write a poem,
Good or bad, on any theme,
People, especially my kith and kin,
Avoid me nowadays,
As though I was a pest or plague.
They fear:
I may put any of them in a poem
And post it, too.
Once, I made an in-law the theme of a poem.
And ever since,
We have not been on speaking terms.
I wrote on my spouse
And our relationship took a different turn.
I wrote good things
On a pet cat or a doggy,
Which they could not understand,
Let alone appreciate.
I wrote on the rose in my garden
And before I could publish,
She did perish!
I wrote on my best friend
And he did appreciate.
Another on a bosom friend,
Whose whereabouts are still unknown!
The leaders I write in praise of
Are all dead and gone;
And so can’t hear me.
Those who live
And whom I invariably censure
Won’t hear me.
I won’t praise leaders living—on principle.
It may be too early, you know.
A coterie of readers, in my homeland and abroad,
Do read my poems and compliment me,
But are a microscopic minority.
Still, I write--
Because I’m a poetry maniac!
***
Won III Prize in the Poetry Contest entitled "Mania," sponsored by Lewis Raynes, November 8, 2017.
Categories:
maniac, character, poetry,
Form:
Free verse
Maniac Who Loved Money
Trump was maniac who loved money;
Acting foolish thinking he was funny;
He went out and had affair on a dare;
All of his supporters are full of despair;
Died when water boarded by his honey.
(Or was it with honey.)
Cremated By Someone Related
Trump's dead body was sticky subject;
Had heard that someone it did select;
Turned out to be someone related
Who had his cruddy body cremated
Before every body it did infect.
Every body needs a body sometime.
Is that the song Dean Martin sang
With an Italian twang.
Jim Horn.
Categories:
maniac, humorous,
Form:
Limerick
this is a poem that was written by my freind. anything you comment on it i will let him know. his name is sean.
sad, regretful, loving,and woeful
lover of her,
who cares deeply about her,
who believed that she loved me,
who wanted to be with her forever,
who fears that she would leave,
who said "i'll love you forever"
resident of my broken heart.
payne.
Categories:
maniac, dedication, depression, devotion, fear,
Form:
Free verse
a maniac runs
a mad hound let from a leash
to the river god
haiku dharma maniac runs copyright (c) rajat kanti chakrabarty 21 november 2014
Categories:
maniac, religion, river,
Form:
Haiku
Beware of the house of pain,
Madness rains on you like rain,
Don't call out my name in vain,
Lest they think you are insane,
Psychotic maniac,
And don't call me a maniac,
I love girls; am a nymphomaniac,
It's this voices inside my head; kleptomaniac,
Turn them off, they keep me awake, am insomniac,
Psychotic maniac,
Please, am not crazy,
If I sit still ill be lazy,
I have to make them stop, keep them busy,
Tell them to take it easy,
Psychotic maniac,
Am not psychotic,
It must be the coffee, its narcotic,
Don't take me to the mad house, its demonic,
Take me to church or rehab, like am an alcoholic,
Psychotic maniac,
Categories:
maniac, confusion, depression, fear, hate,
Form:
Rhyme
I
tried
counting
sheep to get
to sleep, but one’s
gone missing and now
I’m lying awake worrying
Categories:
maniac, funny, sleep,
Form:
Shape
A maniac drummer
Beats through the chest
A rhythm unheard of
With which I’ve been blessed
Shots of adrenaline
Tickle the brain
Our one more chance
To go completely insane
The mind going numb
In the madness of night
In the midst of it all
There’s love at first sight
A dark, tempting flower
Blossoms black in the nox
No attention is paid
To the tock of the clock
Newborn ideas
Sprout from minds of the mad
Betwixt insane and sensible
Doors between the good and the bad
Soul and mind are demented
Inhibitions are shed
Brainsick and unhinged
Real life is dead
Impractical imprints
Unbalanced and sick
Infatuated with pain
As this time bomb ticks…
Categories:
maniac, confusion, imagination, introspection, life
Form:
Quatrain
Our sweet, all white cat Snowball had ten
kittens! Goodbye to Zen.
Each one a different color,
some muted gray, or ginger, and some multi-color;
and one was all black,
and a real little jumping jack.
When the time came for adoption they were in a playpen,
and people came time and again.
First, adopted were the bright cats with fur technicolor,
and the cats in muted watercolor.
But, on each visit the black cat hung back,
then, when we were alone he was a maniac.
And then, there was only him and a ginger in the pen,
but ginger said goodbye one day, and then
there were no more bright cats multi-color
and no more cats technicolor or watercolor.
Just one little bright-eyed maniac black,
that I kept and named Jack . . .
I keep my Jack close, when
out, 'cause people can be mean every now and then.
________________________
January 7, 2018
Poetry/Rhyme/Bright Jack, The Maniac
Copyright Protected, ID 18-9807-76-01
All Rights Reserved. Written Under Pseudonym.
For the contest,There is a Brighter Side
sponsor, Eve Roper
First Place
Inspired by image #2
Rhyme Pattern - aabbccaabbccaabbccaa- 20 lines
Rhyming verified on Rhymezone.
Categories:
maniac, baby, cat,
Form:
Rhyme
I am a pyromaniac
A little bit of a brainiac
Don't you give me any smack
I'll sick yo' **** with a stack
of fire balls at your back
*wink*
Categories:
maniac, satire,
Form:
Rhyme
little town of Oomswarshcknullphillbelly
here comes the maniac Gingelly
he, who wears scruffy mustache and flab belly
he is the maniac of Oomswarshcknullphillbelly
Beware of his acts of illogicality and folly
for, he knows not when to cry and when to be jolly
loves to play blunder ball and hates to see telly
he is the maniac of Oomswarshcknullphillbelly
Categories:
maniac, kids, humorous, people,
Form:
Rhyme
You are not what you say you are
You are not what you pretend
You are not what you show
You are an innocent Bully
You are the cause of accidents
You are the cause of electrocution
You are the cause of illegal activities
You are the cause of bad health
You are the cause of internal damage
You are the cause of invisible Pain
You are the cause of mysterious deaths..
Note. You are what you are behind closed doors.
Categories:
maniac, anger, bullying, care, confidence,
Form:
Free verse