Best Leftovers Poems
'Twas the day after Thanksgiving and all of its ado and congestion.
I'd consumed too much turkey and pie and due to its ingestion,
Today, I'm suffering from a very acute case of indigestion!
I should've stifled my gluttonous bent - of that there is no question!
Of turkey meat and the trimmings I've had more than enough,
But my spouse has already planned next week's menu in the rough,
Saying, "You'll eat what I fix and I want none of your inane guff!
I know how to dispose of leftover turkey and all that other stuff!"
So, a hearty turkey stew and sweet taters are on the menu Monday.
A steaming bowl of turkey soup will grace our board on Tuesday.
Two turkey sandwiches with green bean casserole we'll have Wednesday.
Turkey salad and punkin pie will be placed before me for lunch Thursday.
A heap of mashed taters topped with turkey a la king for dinner Friday.
Turkey fricassee with cranberry sauce we'll eat for dinner Saturday.
Enough turkey was available for potpies that we'll dine on Sunday.
YeeHah! Ain't no more turkey - I'll have a cheeseburger come next Monday!
Lord, You know I'm mighty thankful for that which You graciously provide,
And please don't thing me an ungrateful oaf, but if in You I may confide,
May it please You come next Thanksgiving, 'twould be so very nice,
If You'd provide a simple meat loaf, mashed pertaters and wild rice!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Categories:
leftovers, funny, holiday, thanksgiving, me,
Form:
Rhyme
Leftovers, leftovers what a treat
open the fridge to see what to eat
Chinese from last week
four day spaghetti at a flavor peak?
Something grey from way back when
butterscotch pudding with cracked top skin
Potatoes cooked but with eyes
that salad is hard and dry
Oranges that have fermented
apples that are demented
Look a bag of grandma's stew
didn't she pass in two thousand and two?
Carton of milk that turn to cheese
I think the roast beef has fleas
Fresh mushrooms we did not buy
a half eaten sandwich that waves hi
Green beans with an attitude
slice of baloney like a leather shoe
Eggs with feathers
carrots knitting sweaters
Pizza from World War One
and a loaf of bread having too much fun
Check the cupboard before something screams
looks like will eat that can of pork and beans.
Categories:
leftovers, food, funny, humorous, silly,
Form:
Rhyme
I was cleaning my room tonight
and came across a guitar pick,
one of your used.
A further search
among broken staple cartridges,
multi-colored plastic coated
and classic metal paperclips and
pennies, produced
five other picks,
worn down from their
original rounded triangles
to somewhat odd circles.
I laid the picks out in a circle
like flat quartz rocks against
the sand-colored formica of my desk.
Two sky blues, one pink
and two tortoise shells.
I close my eyes and hear your blues,
and mine surge like a wave
until I gasp for air.
I treasured away your discarded picks
in a heart-shaped ceramic dish
that got broken somehow
in the move at the separation.
There should be more than this,
but I became unsupportive, you said,
when I tired of the smoky bars,
and then I wanted a degree,
which absorbed any extra energy,
so you no longer pitched me your picks
or thought I cared.
Maybe someone new gets your leftovers,
But I'm better off not knowing,
just in case there is a limit past
the pain of which I couldn't take.
But I'll keep living anyway,
As long as there is a sun in the morning
and the moon at night,
I'll live for the rises and sets
if that's all I get.
Categories:
leftovers, introspection, loss, lost love,
Form:
Narrative
almonds in chili --
who knew leftovers could
taste so good
Categories:
leftovers, food,
Form:
Haiku
“Leftovers” are the name of the game
That's sure not a very appealing name
They're still delicious
No matter repetitious
Should go in the Cooking Hall of Fame
© Jack Ellison 2016
Categories:
leftovers,
Form:
Limerick
turkey leftovers
on bread, in soups, on last legs
and all gobbled up
11/27/2018
Categories:
leftovers, food,
Form:
Haiku
Things happen. Life unravels
The earth spins, perpetuating processes
And as we recount our travels
Our hearers marvel
Stories of prophets' heads on silver platters
Representations of old things
And we should be somehow flattered
By images of our saggy bottoms and flaked skin
All the expected supreme annoyances
In bags of leftover promises
Encased in increasingly cryptic codices
We're patching up until the expert arrives
I look forward to an immense surprise
For now, we can all be Lazarus
Sitting at the gate, all cadaverous
Hold my wings while I fly
I don't want to fly too low or rise too high
We are all Lazarus, waiting to exhale
Picking up crumbs, pushing carts
Domesticating stray dogs. Swatting flies
In alleys and under bridges. What a sight
It's like writing a hard exam
Roger, confirm your position
I'm flying over the flyover, over
Ah, Roger
Things happen. Life unravels
Things fall apart
Unexpected turns, astonishing events
Surprises and disappointments
Spilled milk, blood, sweat and tears
Broken hearts and shakedowns
Past failures and future fears
Betrayals, travesties
Misplaced loyalties. Broken trust
Uncollected royalties
Missed opportunities, misplaced sympathies
Mishandled moments. Misplaced comments
Unforeseen challenges. Broken sewers
Outbreaks and breakouts
Roger confirm
You are observing this insanity
I'm flying over the fly over, over
Ah, Roger
Categories:
leftovers, allegory, analogy, conflict, life,
Form:
O circus, circus
the ox and his Fergus.
The whale took a bite of the moon.
The carnivore gasped to see that chomp.
And the pig civilized the baboon.
Categories:
leftovers, irony, moon, nonsense, nursery
Form:
Light Verse
When hosting a holiday meal
There's always a certain appeal
To food that remains
For you've taken such pains
To prepare it, it seemed an ordeal.
But after the guests have all split
If you're honest, you'll have to admit
That your efforts have paid
Since the food that you've made
Can be eaten for days, bit by bit.
Categories:
leftovers, food,
Form:
Limerick
Something had just occurred to me
As I sat and talked to Cleetus Magee
He was only joking that day
I took it serious in an odd, pathetic way
He suggested I open my own place for people to eat
I began to brainstorm on the cost for food, a/c, electric and heat
It hit me like a ton of bricks
After eating some Barbecue at Rick's
So tonight I will make my play
After raiding a few dumpsters, I will have enough to open my leftovers from all
over buffet
I began by scanning the neighbors trash cans late at night
Not much luck, some Sausage Pudding and Tripe
Next I will raid Applebee's for some quality food to offer
I even found a couple of Golfballs I will give to a friend of mine who is an avid
golfer
As I was dumpster diving, I had some trouble from a couple of stray cats over
three chunks of meat
After a fight and I received a few scratches, the cats then leave in defeat
I picked up the meat to smell it, free meat my favorite price
With a lot of spices, it will be very well disguised
Then I moved on to the Noisy Oyster
All the seafood was still quite fresh, it contained plenty of moisture
I rented a space at a cold storage facility
Until I had enough for some business stability
With every dumpster raid, my food inventory grew
Maybe next would be IHOP, pondering if I should put breakfast items on the buffet
too
Tonight I open up the doors
To a feast no one has ever seen before
Just to see the customers go up for seconds or thirds gives me pleasure
The saying is true One Man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure
One customer said if he didn't have to go to work he would eat all day
Ssh! Please don't reveal my secrets about my leftovers from all over buffet
Categories:
leftovers, food, funny, work, me,
Form:
ABC
Leftovers
Don’t let Christmas come in too much of a hurry
I really can’t handle one more turkey curry
The kids now want something else for their teas
So it’s six pigs in blankets and biscuits for cheese
Faced with leftovers for the rest of the hols
Anyone want anymore sausage rolls
A nice new year snack? The family concur
I get out the turkey... its covered in fur
So now that I’ve chucked out them old turkey loins
We’ll finish the pudding that mum filled with coins
The dentist is open next week, God willing
To sort out the molar I broke on a shilling
There’s thirty one days in every December
So why is it no-one can ever remember
The night that for good luck we don’t want to miss
Can anyone tell me when twelfth night is
So the tree’s folded up and it’s back in the loft
The best China’s packed up in something that’s soft
The Holly’s chucked out which seemed a bit drastic
When you consider that most it’s plastic
Granddad’s still sat in his gold paper hat
I ask why on Earth are you still wearing that
He says he don’t like to remove it too soon
Perhaps I should tell him it’s half way through June
Categories:
leftovers, christmas, funny, humorous, new
Form:
Rhyme
still, non-dynamic study
of my
liquid leftovers sliding down her collapsed body
burn-out lust
wasted hardcore vigor
for an ancient misinterpretation of genitals.
Categories:
leftovers, introspection
Form:
Advertised as an Estate Sale
Which I took to mean
Not just yard sale discards.
Here are some
Of the things you could obtain:
Aluminum baking pans
Plastic punch bowl
Four segments of track from a train set
Discolored tea-towels with embroidered edges
Christmas themed throw pillow
Velvet painting of sailing ships
Flimsy dollar-store wall mirror
Cheaply framed picture of Jesus
A used tire with "free" sign taped to it
Tupperware, a bit stained
Tiny shelf for back of toilet
Chipped bowls and plates
Mismatched spoons
Wobbly lawn chair
Book club mystery with coffee cup circle
Bread basket, slightly crushed
Half a box of staples
Cookie tin, rusty inside
Fragile teacup with handle glued back on
Melamine resin plates
VHS tapes in sun-faded boxes.
The leavings of a life
Can certainly be sad.
Categories:
leftovers, death, fate, heartbreak, life,
Form:
Free verse
It’s a strange thing looking alive in a leftovers box
Its crumbly beige and yellow with a brown layer underneath
It looks like aubergine, cream and mince, with a hint of something else
What will it do to your teeth?
Categories:
leftovers, food,
Form:
Rhyme
I loved my fat Thai noodles.
They were such a perfect lunch;
But after four big dumplings,
I was filled up quite a bunch.
I ate as much as I could eat.
The portion was absurd;
‘Cause when I lay my chopsticks down,
I’d only scarfed a third.
The waiter took my leftovers
And packed them in a tin,
With plastic cover and
A paper bag to put them in.
He left it on my table
And I took it when I paid,
Real pleased that dinner for tonight
Was sitting there, all made.
But walking home, quite suddenly
My meal came crashing through.
The soggy-bottomed bag had ripped,
So what was I to do?
For on the sidewalk was displayed
Pad See Ew in its glory.
I scooped it up as best I could,
And that’s the end of story.
There is a moral to this tale –
When you go out to eat,
A noodle in the belly beats
A noodle on the street!
Categories:
leftovers, food, urban,
Form:
Rhyme