Best Laryngitis Poems
Topics of conversation seem to change as we approach maturity.
As kids we talked of love - now it's lumbago and social security!
It once was enlightening to simply discuss the weather,
But now it's a litany of their ills when oldsters get together!
When a teen we bragged about that first voluptuous kiss.
Now all we can do is talk about such and lamentably reminisce!
Girls whispered amongst themselves and cast a furtive glance,
At the high school "hunk" pining for a torrid romance!
In our courting days, sweet talk we'd whisper in the other's ear.
Now it seems we must yell to be heard unlike in yesteryear!
As married folks we debated about money, bills and kids,
Exasperating table-pounding sessions where we'd flip our lids!
Seems that no matter where senior brethren congregate,
With each other their aches and pains they must enunciate,
Discussing the woes of arthritis, phlebitis and laryngitis,
Bronchitis, bursitis, gingivitis, dermatitis and gastritis!
I reckon I could simply say, "Gee, you're looking swell!"
Then perhaps upon these gloomy topics they might not dwell.
I enjoy repartee with folks about religion, politics and sports,
But talk of doom and gloom leaves me sorta outta sorts!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Categories:
laryngitis, funny, high school,
Form:
Rhyme
maybe they just need some oinkment
when pigs get laryngitis
i suppose they feel somewhat disgruntled
english teacher's nightmair
observed in a book store:
"sale - all spelling workbooks 50% of!"
too much of a good thing
poetry teacher: "i can't say enough about not
saying too much"
paternal paradox
my grandfather once told me
"never trust anyone... trust me on this"
where the h am i?
to a dictionary editor
'h' is the middle of nowhere
such a critic
i tried that new restaurant on the moon
good food but no atmosphere
a pun further analysis
the bonfire sank my boat
you can't have your kayak and heat it too
Humor attribution: all humor found online and converted to monoku form by yours truly.
Categories:
laryngitis, humor,
Form:
Monoku
I once worked with a youth who had gingivitis
Twenty years younger yet she already had arthritis
Pretty enough in spite of her dermatitis
She so craved attention we all thought caused by meningitis
Winters seemed worse with time off due to bronchitis
Bouts in hospital for appendicitis and diverticulitis
Regularly like clockwork she came down with severe vacationitis
After each self-prescribed vacation she’d strangely suffer from moneyitis
She talked our ears off we kept hoping she’d get laryngitis
But no, it was only bursitis and colitis followed by gastritis
Ms. Black sure was high maintenance with her neurosis and neuritis
AP: 1st place 2025, Honorable Mention 2020
Categories:
laryngitis, abuse, imagination, psychological, sick,
Form:
Monorhyme
GUYS WHO WORK IN THE ZOO
Laryngitis specialist for the giraffe
A dozen lozenges for her calf
Dental assistant doing fillings
Or bridgework for baby crocodillings
Pest control officer for monkeys
But I don’t gotta eat them fleas
Cook doing anteater lunch each day
“Always ants again !” they say
Dry cleaning the striped pyjamas
For horses to masquerade as zebras
Satisfying the needs of the doe
For the big bucks….oh yes oh!
Nose-job surgeon for rhinos fair?
A Depardieu or a Jackson, sir?
A tail-tip trimmer as a try-on?
Especially for the male lion
But not a slimmer trainer for a hippo
A hopeless task becoming a beau
Categories:
laryngitis,
Form:
Couplet
Communication
Talking, Singing, Dancing,
Writing, Drawing, Praying,
Signing, Listening, Seeing,
Reading, Cooing, Touching,
Bridges in a list few,
That allow One to Two.
Or Expansion of One,
If the Ability to Be Common,
Is Ever Shrunk, Compromised,
The Feelings Become Numb,
We are Un-Mistakenly Downsized!
Laryngitis, Soundless, Sightless,
Senseless, Absence of Hand-Eye 'Ation,
Robs Togetherness, Socialization,
Leaves Us Cast Out of the Nest,
Pilfers the Spirit of Essence,
Drastically Diminished & Lessened,
But Perhaps the Worst Singleness,
Is to be Alone in a Crowd,
Where They Choose Their Game,
Foreignly, Ours is Not the Same,
Then, Sidetracked On Our Own,
We Grow in Dishes Petri,
Rhythmically Communicating Poetry,
Layered Verse Reaffirming Terse,
Each Syncopation a Prayer,
Gratitude Individually Communed,
Catalyzing December to June!
Categories:
laryngitis, celebration, cheer up, community,
Form:
Rhyme
Aged and mellowed, golden whiskey in a wide mouth Mason jar.
Poured over sweet rock candy, was the guaranteed cure,
of ticklish throats; sprained ankles; hair loss; hang nails and more.
Always kept on hand, for times of desperate need,
of which Grandpa had a profound proclivity for.
No glass nor tablespoon was needed to dispense this elixir.
Just twist the ring, pop the lid, up end the jar and let it slide
down your parched throat..ummm, I mean, soar throat.
I remember well, my first bout with laryngitis at the age of seven.
Grandpa hurried off, to get the magical jar of homemade "Cure".
Minutes later, he came in, carrying the jar like a precious jewel.
Pouring some of that honey hued nectar into a large serving spoon.
Tasting it first, making sure it hadn't gone bad, of course.
Then he slipped the spoon edge between my lips.
Boy-howdy, my eyes watered, I coughed for a spell.
Then slept like a baby.
Entry for: The Road To Well Ville
Hostess: Deborah Guzzi
Placement: 6th
Categories:
laryngitis, family, funny, recovery from...
Form:
Free verse
"MATCH LIGHT IN DAYLIGHT"
Sam Kinisin had laryngitis
the yellow brick road was checkered
a child stands in the corner
for punishment
the woman in glasses screams
at 8:53 AM
I save the girl
from drowning
and she tells me
I owe her one
the observation wheel spins
while the soldiers invade the beaches
black men hold leaf blowers
white men stretch out red tape
and the uneducated Chicanos
fight blindly against tyranny
she wants progress in
her building blocks
I hold trepidation as she
forms her substructure
we bump in our cars
until the day we decide
to use them for travel
I'm torn between
breaking your neck
and throwing you
down the stairs
the roof on the church across
the street needs repairing
make a phone call
call a wrong number and talk
drown yourself in you
God has given you a hug.
By: Chicano Eddie
8-10-2016
Categories:
laryngitis, beautiful, birth, city, deep,
Form:
Free verse
Should a pig ever get laryngitis
Well he wouldn’t be pleased in the least
For, not being able to talk to his friends
He would be such a disgruntled beast
Categories:
laryngitis, animals, friendship, funny
Form:
Light Verse
Sleepily the night's rain and morning fog
Click-clacked upon leaf covered ground from the eaves
Coating things even roosters' monologue
Saturating it heavily so tight like basket weave
One rooster sounds like has laryngitis
Maybe he's young one who just got his crow
Watch out you old roosters he might steal a kiss
And some hens from the hen house through hedge row
Fog rises over creek up sloping hill
Settles into the cracks and crevices
My joints, muscles, and heart giving a chill
Could be depressing but there are devices
Like trying to figure what sounds are played
In nature this wet morn, like dove or wren
Then the sound of something that's human made
Breaks the symphony of sounds that's been
Duty calls quietly need to change to daily chores
Life draws from me my time out on the porch
Categories:
laryngitis, funny, introspection, life,
Form:
Rhyme
Found on a pedestal, or hold, loneliness bends to isolation.
For silent walls to speak so comfort, felt with validation.
Feel the waves of silence as apathy chills you to the bone.
Few relish in self-centredness, or a self-sufficiency cloned.
Imagine all the comfortless-ones lost in the system’s cracks.
Nothing is as crystal clear for deeper introspection’s facts.
Sorrow, the time you’ve taken, you’ll not be here tomorrow!
Loneliness makes awkward quirks of intentions so shallow.
Life dies inside when there’s no others willing to befriend.
A non-existing of self-worth which begins to condescend...
There’s no pleasure without communication for possibility.
Opaque gray clouds can permeate, hiding love’s true validity.
What good is skilful listening for loquacity, or laryngitis?
It's like slapping a bandaid over the colour of Yellow-Jondus.
Sadness comes when we're forsaken by those sadly threatened.
As empty fellowship declares to annul its claim to rescind.
Categories:
laryngitis, death, family, children, introspection,
Form:
Tomorrow’s the day
New job on the way
Interview at eight
You gotta look great
In bed on time
Wake up at nine
ALARM NOT SET!
You are the Star
Step out of the car
Know all the songs
What could wrong
Open your mouth
Nothing comes out
LARYNGITIS!
A Poker Contest
You’re at you best
Got three of a kind
It all on the line
Last card is dealt
Guy gives a yelp
INSIDE STRAIGHT!
You’ve been invited
You’re so excited
Relatives in Spain
Arrive in the rain
Then a sign you see
You’re in Turkey
TOOK THE WRONG GATE!
A sports car’s fun
You’ve got one
Cruising along
Not doing wrong
Flashing lights you see
Give your license to me
WALLET’S AT HOME
Find someone to love
You fit like a glove
You want to sin
She finally gives in
Love making’s through
I love you Sue
NOT THE RIGHT NAME!
Categories:
laryngitis, funny,
Form:
Burlesque
One late winter early spring I developed laryngitis
to the point I could only emit broken, raspy ,unintelligible barely perceptible noise.
My kids and I had gone on a Sunday morning for donuts one each,and my daughter and myself pantyhose.My son then 14 went in to make the purchase as my daughter and I waited in the car.
As we sat wondering what was taking so long
A man approached the car.I rolled down the window and not really up to repartee tried to say "Go away I am sick.The sounds that came out of me sounded as if I had never heard spoken word
So therefore had not a clue as to how to mimic the process.Little did I know the man was deaf and had approached to hand me a card stating so and asking for any thing I could spare or it was a scam,take your pick .Not skipping a beat he began
to sign where upon my daughter immediately
Stripped a gear as this was just too much fun and here she was with literal front row seats. Just about then her brother appeared carrying enough donuts for any police station break room with leftovers for the fire station as well and hosiery in the wrong size.Hey, how did a deaf man know my speech was impaired to the point he thought I was deaf?
Categories:
laryngitis, mystery,
Form:
Free verse
Since Jay decided to be a poster child
He’s reined in his tendency to go wild
He’s quiet as a mouse
Dead silence in the house
To laryngitis for aye reconciled
Categories:
laryngitis, child, silence,
Form:
Limerick
Touch Owned By Midas
There are things that really delight us,
Like Trump having a case of laryngitis;
Heading South;
Down in mouth;
Thinks he has touch owned by Midas.
Jim Horn
Wife is watching article about St. John's.
There is not one single leaf left.
Categories:
laryngitis, allegory, analogy,
Form:
Limerick
Shouldering songs from the birth to the rhyme
of emotion, spring silver and burgundy 'spires
Slipping your words in a tragedy roll
tumbling and tumbling sweet in my mouth
Parching the lips from the birth to the hip
of elation, crooned gypsy and marble desire
Swathing your soul in impertinent shadows
release, just release while I sing in the fire
We are the makers of melody masks
We sing, our words holding hands
We won't touch ground 'till the flooding ensues
an immense retribution entrance
Cradling wounds from the birth to the line
of devotion, peppered and whispered in dreams
Basking in sun, mirror stolen and young
burning and burning the cold from the seams
Lending the moon from the birth to the ground
repetition, invited and sailing the air
We will be crooning our songs short of smiles
despite broken tongues and acute laryngitis.
Categories:
laryngitis, art, happiness, life, music,
Form:
Free verse