Best Incontinence Poems
A lady with a weak bladder*
Thought nothing could make her madder
But Heaven knows
Her pantyhose
Revealed a soaking-wet ladder!
*Weight gain stretches bladder muscle causing
leakage. The French strengthen bladder muscle by
blowing up balloons. The Japanese prefer sitting on
a wooden stool and repetitiously lifting their legs level
to the floor, but the quickest results are achieved by
the Manx Method developed by avid researcher Jan
Allison, which consists of standing on one's head
and farting along with the 1812 Overature!
Categories:
incontinence, health, women,
Form:
Limerick
Incontinence
(A misery of getting older)
By Roy Merritt
I have to see the doctor I’m incontinent I’m sure
And I’m not very certain that my bladder will endure
Yes I’m incontinent with each of nature’s call
And that my prostate is as big as a basketball
It seems I’m always running with the need to go you see
And if I don’t make it it’ll be all over me
And when I see the doctor the greatest thing I fear
Is that he will tell me I have to quit drinking beer
I’ll have to quit drinking and other stupid things
To avoid looking the fool and making a dreadful scene
And have many a rude person an impolite crowd
Making fun of me as if a little child
But if they thought on it gave it some consideration
They’d realize many of them too will face this situation
I’ll have to do what the doctors say their educated advice
And of course I’ll check with one and another to make it twice
I’ll take their pills to all they ask adhere
And if they say I should darn it I’ll even give up beer
Categories:
incontinence, humorous, men,
Form:
Rhyme
A sensual, lioness, with a poor constitution, hopes dissociation from her abode will repair the echo of her dreams.
Categories:
incontinence, body, courage, depression, emotions,
Form:
Free verse
In loves harbor moored in the dock of regression
and anchored in the quicksand of incontinence
as briny waves of inconstancy wash over my jaded bough
scouring my white-washed deck over and over
leaving the silty residue of bartered romances
tarnishing the fibers of my brigand hull
peeling back the glossy facade that coated my proud vessel
the drift wood of jilted lovers floats all around
shrouding my leased yacht with the residual chaff
of once fertile fronds that bloomed with romance
then were blighted by the cankering disease of insincerity
tides bring in the brackish seaweed of of salty flings
that never rooted my wandering eye or planted my wavering feet
which were tossed to and fro by a truant wind
constantly moving in a listless, uncharted direction
bandied about by the restless currents of change
barges of opprobrium clamor about in my choppy waters
tugging at my corroded conscience pushing the dross
of my intemperate, impulsive dalliances into my feckless psyche
Categories:
incontinence, lost love, social
Form:
Free verse
Let me change the contours of life,
polluted mind-set.
Spider webs have
elective sites of emotions.
I want to open a new range,
to locate the corrupt moments.
Turn over your face,
let me find the scars.
The soaring pinnacle,
fatherless fame, were declining.
The rot was setting on
the fresco of the wall.
Aspiring for god-head
they have choked the fluiting.
Hands and eyes are cadaverous,
unmoving. Sun is burning very hot.
Not tomorrow,
today we have to bid farewell
to neutral day.
Life will not spare the casting.
Too much mist
has settled on the eyes,
raining madness on the road.
Month and years
are giving incontinence.
SATISH VERMA
Categories:
incontinence, family, father, forgiveness, friendship,
Form:
ABC
Her husband’s pace
is like a snail’s, poor fellow.
From bed to bowl
it’s a daily trail of yellow.
With chronic incontinence
she expects its continuance.
Categories:
incontinence, humor,
Form:
Light Verse