Best Iguana Poems
The iguana is certainly a popular lizard
To figure out why doesn't take a wizard
With that spiky mane curving down its back
It looks like a stegosaurus who went off track
I myself prefer pterodactyls to lizards
To guide me home when lost in a blizzard
Categories:
iguana, animal, bird, flying, storm,
Form:
Rhyme
One day with her pet lizard, on a
warm beach lay the sex goddess Shawna.
One who ogled her bust
tried to claim he was just
enthralled by her lovely iguana!
For john freeman's Giggle 2 Contest
Categories:
iguana, funny, giggle,
Form:
Limerick
perched on the treetops
iguana closes its eyes
soaking in the sunshine
the new doorkeeper
of this deserted house
- one mister spider
6 am and falling rain
bed! how cosy you feel
this morning
Categories:
iguana, house, insect, morning, nature,
Form:
Haiku
My Green Iggy
My wild green iguana
nods his regal head at me.
It’s the power of a tangerine
hibiscus flower he knows.
Bobbing his head like Billy Idol,
liking what he sees.
Offering my shoulder,
he grabs on tightly with his toes.
Now my dinosaur friend
is taking a thrilling joy ride.
Settling in his outdoor
cage to work on his suntan.
Guarding his cage,
for I would cry if he died.
An orange tabby lies beside him,
Iggy loves his cat.
Iggy takes a wild ride
inside and eats fresh fruit.
Romance, he makes my purple
house shoe his junk yard dog.
Playing a jungle song,
entertaining him with my shiny flute.
Keep the room hot for him,
but we’re not rich.
He loves to be messaged
and lightly misted with water.
Loving him like he was
my son or my daughter.
Categories:
iguana, animalsgreen,
Form:
Free verse
Our awards night, my corporate boss thought this up
with fine dining, much cash and chairman's gilded cup;
as awardee, they shacked me up in a five-star
in Hongkong where I felt I was some superstar.
After a warm bath, I consulted the mirror,
checked my body for any overlooked error;
inhaled, puffed my chest up, flattened that beer belly,
flexed my biceps, almost convinced I was Bruce Lee.
I even thought it should not have been Pitt but me
as the champion Achilles in Troy, the movie;
for there stood I, a demigod of mythology,
proudly prancing, preening in self-love's apogee.
A thump on the massive door smashed my reverie;
with a towel round my waist, I peeped out to see;
finding no one, I stepped out to catch the prankster;
must be the aircon wind for not a soul was there.
But then, the door slammed deafeningly behind me,
locking me out in the bright hallway with no cardkey;
from nowhere, young lady guests elegantly dressed
with smooth tuxedoed escorts, strolled straight towards me.
I panicked and froze in indescribable shame
though they didn't and wouldn't even know my name;
so there stood I, a semi-nude dude from the sauna
nervously blinking like a startled iguana!
Categories:
iguana, funnyme,
Form:
Rhyme
Iguana wears a dragon’s coat
And haughty dragon stare.
If you should find him in your bath,
He’d give you quite a scare!
Categories:
iguana, animals, children, funny
Form:
Epigram
Awards night, my corporate boss thought this up,
with dinner, cash prize and chairman's gilded cup.
As an awardee in a Hongkong five-star,
I truly felt like some pampered superstar.
After warm bath, I checked myself in the mirror
for any overlooked, unsightly error.
Puffed my chest up and flattened that beer belly.
Flexed my biceps, quite convinced I was Bruce Lee.
Almost truly I thought it should have been me,
not Brad Pitt as Achilles in Troy, the movie.
For there stood I, proud as proud can ever be,
Narcissus preening, drunk in vain vanity.
A dull thump on the door smashed my reverie.
With a towel around me, I peeped out to see.
I stepped out, looked around to catch the prankster.
But not a soul was there, my heart beat faster.
Then the door slammed behind me and locked me out.
Forgot the key in the room, there was no doubt.
In the hallway, lady guests elegantly dressed
strolled by wide-eyed, amused, with laughter suppressed.
I panicked and froze in unspeakable shame
although they didn't and wouldn't know my name.
For there stood I, a half-nude dude from the sauna,
trembling and blinking like a startled iguana!
.
Categories:
iguana, funnyme,
Form:
Narrative
Galapagos Island Ignoramus, (oops) Iguana
or
Seventh Grade Craziness
Written: By Tom Wright
12/12/2003
I didn’t mind being called an ignoramus,
The class was divided; about half thought it was a compliment,
But I knew she was calling me some sort of big lizard.
I was happy that it wasn’t dimwit or blockhead.
Categories:
iguana, funny,
Form:
Free verse
Iguana’s don’t have bad manners
He sticks his tongue out, this is true
But he’s not really being naughty
It is just his way of smelling you
Categories:
iguana, animals, children, funny, nature,
Form:
Iguana wants to be a player
Geico commercials didn't hire this slayer
Apparently he's too green
To counteract the green screen
So Iguana puts on shades
Then moonwalks and prays
The Gecko breaks a leg on Thursday
And hopefully doesn't regenerate the next day
Categories:
iguana, animal, funny, giggle, green,
Form:
Rhyme
The seed for a poem can come from strange places
For me it does anyway
You just never know what it will take to make the seed grow
I have a place that I go to, see all kind of strange faces
On just about any given day
They always have something new to show
It is a little Mexican bar, in the middle of down town
Right across for the city bus center, that is how I get there
I go in and have a few
Most are happy faces, some carry a frown
It is a small place, dark with very little glare
I just watch and see what people will do
Kind of like bird watching, some strange birds do come in
I get some napkins from the Mexican barmaid
Juke box is playing "El Ranch Grande"
I hear someone say, "Watch out that old man is writing again"
Time well spent and moments I will not trade
Pen, napkins, cold beer in hand and me
After a couple of hours, I am set to go
Relaxed and a few lines for the next week
I am ready to go to the casa
What I write, no one really knows
They just know that I will be in there next week
So when I need a new poem, I will be at the La Iguana
Categories:
iguana, places
Form:
My iguana bit my nose off in Muskogee
I'm ashamed I let myself run out of beer
If I'm caught driving sober to the grocery
They might deport my ass right out of here.
Categories:
iguana, animal, humor, hurt, immigration,
Form:
Lyric
I walked beneath the Iguana tree
Along a cobbled road
Taking in the surroundings
In this land of Mexico
Here life has a rhythm
No one seems in a rush
Yet they get where they're going
While I continue on my walk
I try to match their pace
Yet I feel I'm out of step
I worry about tomorrow
All the worries in my head
They seem to move so slowly
Yet they are quick with a smile
This is the land of mañana
Still they work each day to get by
I think they have so little
There is a flaw in how I see
For them family is the answer
Or praying on bended knee
Simple pleasures and laughter
Living day by day
Instead of rushing through our lives
We should learn from the Mexican way
I learn a small yet large lesson
By stopping long enough to see
A different way of living
In sleepy Bucarrias by the Sea
Categories:
iguana, happiness, introspection, day,
Form:
Free verse
One day and one space bar later an irrational iguana put on a wetsuit and some roller skates and left the house. He met with his friends on the way who were waiting at the shop. They were bug eyed swamp who was a squalid squid who squirted herons for a living, the jackdaw juggler whose skills had won many awards worldwide, and the reedy red robust rooster whose crowing could be heard from the moon. They were all dressed in wet suits. They entered the shop and bought an array of drinks and snacks and body boards and surf boards. As well as goggles and flippers. Then they made their way down the sunset road towards the busy beach. Their arrival sparked interest from lounging semi clad pouting puffa fish whose bikinis left little to the imagination. "Later" said the iguana to his friends who were ogling the cakes on display. Then after lecherously looking the friends dashed into the waves. Up and down the waves they went. With such fine agility that passing dolphins sharks whales and fish clapped and sang approving and congratulatory songs of sea to them. When the sun began to set they returned to the beach. And drank their beverages and ate their snacks accompanied by all the semi clad cakes. They lit a fire and had a party. Then walked the semi clad cakes up the mountain pass to the home of meal worm mansion. There they all stayed. Staying sharpens sea setting standing striping striking stroking stuff. And a pile of towels jump around in glee. Rubbing their hands together. Wow. Such an story should be retold in an operatic style in a theatre. A va mi no lono ima ima de. Said the hallway table. Then it was time to sleep. Goodnight. Z at two to three marbles to twelve circulating crystalline plates. X iconographic Z Z AT
Categories:
iguana, art, assonance,
Form:
NO, IT WAS NOT PANAMA PETE THIS TIME
She and I met at a bar so it’s very ironic
That now I should require some pills and a tonic
Just to forget what Joe the barkeep wants to know
I simply suppose because business was slow
So Joe told me about the Mrs. and four little kids
Suffice it to say if he had auctioned them off they wouldn’t garner many bids
Joey is what they called him but he looked more like a Joe
I think Joey was joshing because he said “in your seat died Edgar Allen Poe
I saw a picture of his wife holding a big fish Joey caught
And the four little kids who need money to be educated and very well taught
As I continued to forget what the barkeep wants to know
I weep wretchedly whenever her tear drops flow
Well Joe a few years ago I was her choice
She had legs that don’t surrender and her name was Joyce
So Joe told about his family at times when they rejoice
And out of nowhere he says my body seems so frail
And I told Joey perhaps it’s because I let another romance fail
It always makes me think, Joey, I keep doing it so I can’t be very wise
Because I’ve always maintained a pretty girl looks ugly when she cries
I suppose it’s the fact that heartache should be my due
But in my life, honey, that ain’t nothing new
And besides baby, you had a choice
as well as a voice
So make it a double with a mug and Joe, you’re really kind
Because you gave me something to mull over in my mind
Perhaps I shouldn’t have left Amazing Amber behind
© 2011.…Phreeppoetree
Categories:
iguana, girlfriend-boyfriendme, me,
Form:
Monorhyme