Best Hookup Poems

I met a nice fellow from Nebraska
Talked about his sister in Alaska
Said she was still single
And ready to mingle
“If available,” he said, “I’ll ask-a.”

June 13, 2021...

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In the car cubby,
Phones collide with each other 
I'm feeling chubby 

You build up your might
To start a play fight with me
Don't mean to be mean

As best friends and more,
We are two peas in a pod
I'm feeling skinny

You cheer me up some
We laugh and argue...cuddle...
And...

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My body builds up too much iron;
My wife’s blood, not enough.
We tired of going to all those docs;
At night, we just hook up.


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*A fairly common (1:200) condition known as hemochromatosis results in iron being stored in various organs, including the liver. Undetected, it can cause...

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A roommate shows me this hookup app - the consensus favorite.

“Call me crazy,” I say, “but if we’re reducing s3x to something 
cheap and cynical, wouldn’t p0rn be safer and easier?”

She frowns, as if I’ve espoused an unpopular political position
so I make a show of...

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Erasing your fingertips. 

  

Painting over your love. 

  

The bruises no longer hurt, but the memories do. 

  

Picked me up at 2, dropped me home at 11. Of course, I’m only useful in the evening. At night you don’t want...

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