Best Heinz Poems

Henry Heinz made ketchup
(First called catsup) long ago,
Plus a host of other products - 
Some you'd be surprised to know.

On a train in New York...

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There once was a gambler called Heinz,
Who needed to pay off his fines;
The right numbers he got
For the lotto jackpot -
Alas all on different lines.

*My...

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“Ole Brownie”

The meanest and the best,
Proven among the rest,
My dog in Arkansas, pope county,
I present, ole Brownie,

With first cold front,
Arkansans begin the hunt,
Razorback hogs,
with their...

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My heritage is a mixture
Of backgrounds.  Let's start on 
My Dad's side of the family.

My Dad's mom is Irish and English.

My Dad's dad is...

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Tonight there is a match on telly
The lads are coming round 
most of them are married
So my home is to be the neutral ground .

If...

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The toothpaste that I use is Crest.
I cannot tell if Crest is best;
But it’s the brand I’ve always used.
A change would get my teeth confused.

For...

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(presumably still alive
predicated on rumored sightings dive
ving fast as blazing saddles, 
     her blitzkrieg, 
     nothing but...

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Jo- deeeeeeeeeeee
Lovely! Where have you been, Miss Jo- deeee, you?
on a treadmill to the end of the earth, and you?
A place called yearning...
I was looking...

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“Doggone It”

Doggone it, all good male dogs mark their spot,
But Browne’s leak one day, he should have not.
  Received sudden recompense,
  From leak...

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Pop down to the shops Son
I need some bits and bobs
Just a few potatoes
And a dozen crusty cobs
While you’re there, you might as well
Get carrots...

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Drifting, my excellence
Blonde air-line.
Comme ce comme sais.
Bungalow Bang
Leave my space. Richard Gere in my car.
Space-Fraud
Sickening Mercedes Benz
Woah- woah. That is.
Plastic Coke
Metal Cork. Colour the Heinz.
Lovely...

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First birn of eight,Henry Heinz by name
Brought the common bean to worldwide fame-
In business,he kept his faith alive
Renown for the brand,fifty-seven
Eternal remembrance,now,in heaven

Sharpsburg born Henry...

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Callum is an old-fashioned man on the verge of becoming history’s memory

Ancient even in that he holds only one job but that is for privation...

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Strap ya helmet on 
and while you at it 
pass the keys, we'll 
ride and eat on 
words for dinner, 
homie pass the 
peas,

I don't...

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I am teaching poetry in an elementary 
classroom -- a tiny girl with a large soul,
gigantic brown framed eye glasses and
a silky brown bang writes...

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