Best Have A Heart Attack Poems

There’s a party tonight so I bouffe up my hair
Pamper and powder my sweet derrière,
Arrive at the door, all done up to impress.....
Oh man, I forgot! Invite said “fancy dress”!

Pete and Sue are here, seems their theme’s ‘Tarts and Vicars’,
Sue’s skirt’s microscopic! Look at her...

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Sticks and stones may break my bones
But your lies will cease to hurt me
You think that you have finally won
But don't think I'll let you burn me

I'll sit and smile and make you think
I know nothing of what you do
But secretly I'll make you see
The...

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I went to a cheese and wine party on Saturday,
where huge platters of cheese were on display.
There was Gorgonzola and creamy white Brie,
I devoured huge chunks with a glass of Chablis.

Danish Blue, Mozzarella and Swiss Emmental,
of course I had to try a sample of them...

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The windchill is 45 below sanity
a snow man has frozen snot
dripping from his 1 carrot nose
but the cold doesn't stop the gun toll
in my sweet home Chicago.

27 dead across the Midwest
Frozen solid in the echo of their final step.
A snow shoveling heart attack,
took out a...

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Smelly Nelly was quite a charming girl,
She wore her hair in braids instead of curls,
Bathing several times per day in the Jewish way,
Yet many scoffed and sniffed,
exclaiming she smelt like manure in hay,
Nelly used expensive oils and attars,
some came from lands very far,
Her raiments were...

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Giggle till ya?	9/8/11
Whoop’s, “that’s too funny oh stop your making me pee my pants.” Now that’s a good one, I’m so wet I need to change my pants.
Please stop my jaw hurts; I’m really serious it feels like it could fall off. Oh my stomach...

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Forgive me for not coming up to see you my dear.
I do not want you to see me as I now appear.
Out of pure necessity, I have to cover my head.
You may have a heart attack, and drop dead.
I gave those experiments I’ve been conducting...

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Walking alone in the middle of the night
Holding hands with the cold in the pale moon light

I hear more than my footsteps; look over my back
The shadows from the trees were on the attack

I walked a bit faster, my heart began to race
The mist from...

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If I said you had a beautiful body
Would you hold it against me, sweet lady
What an opening line that would be
Guarantees you a slap, there matey

Why is it so hard for women to find men
That are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because they usually already have boyfriends
Specially...

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Original poem below...after the definition, found on www.google.com: 

"Full Definition of stubborn. 1a (1) : unreasonably or perversely unyielding : mulish (2) : justifiably unyielding : resoluteb : suggestive or typical of a strong stubborn nature  UNSUPPORTED CODE  2 : performed or carried...

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That goofball husband of hers brought her to this joint to see her get drunk for the very first time. She actually plugged her nose trying to sip her first glass of beer. Good grief. 20 minutes and she barely finished it. She walked to...

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Could one learn what romantic fever is?
All I knew was my miserly uncle
With whom we were living,
Fell suddenly in love.
Still he held on tight riches.
 
Ah, but Juliana, oh wonderful Juliana,
Never missing a hiccup of grace,
Somehow managed to purloin from him
Lovely presents that delighted
Her scheming...

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Rap Is Where It's At

jump in the game no here to complain
being busy as a bee in a land of make believe
we shoot for the top but it ends in the flames
let me be the first to explain
I'm staying in the game this is my...

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“Yeah, all the way. No ride, no bus, just walkin’. I can’t quit till I give you your
message, and finish drawing this sand script so you’ll know I’m not lying.” I was shocked 
by what he was telling me. I looked around half expecting to...

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The driver of the bus (like in the song)
Was urging folks to move along.

He called, “Hey Cellphone in your ear – 
Move it, buddy, to the rear!”

He nailed two women – “Move on back!”
I thought they’d have a heart attack.

There’s nothing like a little shame
To...

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