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FANCY STRESS - COLLABORATION WITH THE AMAZING NINA PARMENTER

There’s a party tonight so I bouffe up my hair Pamper and powder my sweet derrière, Arrive at the door, all done up to impress..... Oh man, I forgot! Invite said “fancy dress”! Pete and Sue are here, seems their theme’s ‘Tarts and Vicars’, Sue’s skirt’s microscopic! Look at her tiny knickers! Pete’s in a nun’s habit; the image is scary, I’ve not seen a nun with a chin that’s THAT hairy! And there’s Spider-Man! (although I’m perfectly certain, His cape is made out of his living room curtain), His curve-hugging costume’s quite “cosy” in size, I think our friend Spidey gobbled too many flies! In the corner, a lady has come as Snow White, Gee, her bosoms are out there, her corset’s so tight, They look like two bald heads squeezed into a sack, Glad my hubby’s not here - he’d have a heart attack! In the hallway, a robot is looking well-oiled - Her costume’s made out of three rolls of tin foil, She looks more like a turkey at Christmas, so later, I really hope no one is tempted to baste her! By the buffet, Fred Flintstone is looking contrite, I think he and Wilma are having a fight, Behaving all “caveman” has got Fred in trouble - He showed his big man-club to poor Betty Rubble! There’s a massive man-baby dressed just in a nappy, The “milk” in his bottle has made him quite happy, He’s shaking his tooshie and sucking his dummy, And asking a lady, “can I call you Mummy?” On the sofa is Princess Fiona from Shrek, Blimey, Count Dracula’s nibbling her neck, I avert my eyes to avoid his rising passion, In walks his wife, and his face turns quite ashen. His irate wife’s dressed up as pop singer Cher, In her see through outfit she looks almost bare, Then she lays into Drac just like Rocky Balboa - She’s drunk as I skunk, I’m relieved I don’t know her! Suddenly, Batman bursts through the door, In his skintight costume - my jaw hits the floor! He’s so muscular - bulges in all the right places, If I play my cards right, could be me he embraces! Well sadly I haven’t a costume of course, Til I spot a young chappie dressed up as a horse, I leap on his back - I’m a great improviser - Strip off and shout “Hey I’m Lady Godiva!” Collaboration between Jan Allison and the amazing Nina Parmenter 3/17/18


Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2018


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Sticks and stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But your lies will cease to hurt me
You think that you have finally won
But don't think I'll let you burn me

I'll sit and smile and make you think
I know nothing of what you do
But secretly I'll make you see
The last laugh will be on you

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But your decet will hurt no more
You won't see me cry a singel tear
As I watch you walk out that door

Don't think that you can go astray
And plan on coming back
I don't believe in forgiveness 
I'd rather have a heart attack

My love for you has slowly died
I buried it today
I built a wall around my heart
To keep all men away

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But words can break much more
They can take your heart and leave the pieces
Shattered all over the floor


Copyright © Christine Portwood | Year Posted 2009


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Fancy Stress - Collaboration with the Awesome Jan Allison

Fancy Stress - Collaboration with the Awesome Jan Allison

There’s a party tonight so I bouffe up my hair
Pamper and powder my sweet derrière,
Arrive at the door, all done up to impress.....
Oh man, I forgot! Invite said “fancy dress”!

Pete and Sue are here, seems their theme’s ‘Tarts and Vicars’,
Sue’s skirt’s microscopic! Look at her tiny knickers! 
Pete’s in a nun’s habit; the image is scary,
I’ve not seen a nun with a chin that’s THAT hairy!

And there’s Spider-Man! (although I’m perfectly certain,
His cape is made out of his living room curtain),
His curve-hugging costume’s quite “cosy” in size,
I think Spidey gobbled up too many flies!

In the corner, a lady has come as Snow White,
Gee, her bosoms are out there, her corset’s so tight,
They look like two bald heads squeezed into a sack,
Glad my hubby’s not here - he’d have a heart attack!

In the hallway, a robot is looking well-oiled,
Her costume’s made out of three rolls of tin foil,
She looks more like a turkey at Christmas, so later,
I really hope no one is tempted to baste her!

By the buffet, Fred Flintstone is looking contrite,
I think he and wife Wilma are having a fight, 
Behaving all “caveman” has got Fred in trouble -
He showed his big man-club to poor Betty Rubble!

There’s a massive man-baby dressed just in a nappy,
The “milk” in his bottle has made him quite happy,
He’s shaking his tooshie and sucking his dummy,
And asking a lady, “can I call you Mummy?”

On the sofa is Princess Fiona from Shrek,
Blimey, Count Dracula’s nibbling her neck,
I avert my eyes to avoid his rising passion,
In walks his wife, and his face turns quite ashen.
 
His irate wife’s dressed up as pop singer Cher,
In her see through outfit she looks almost bare,
Then she lays into Drac just like Rocky Balboa -
She’s drunk as I skunk, I’m relieved I don’t know her!

Suddenly, Batman bursts through the door,
In his skintight costume - my jaw hits the floor!
He’s so muscular - bulges in all the right places,
If I play my cards right, could be me he embraces!

Well sadly I haven’t a costume of course,
Til I spot a young chappie dressed up as a horse,
I leap on his back - I’m a great improviser -
Strip off and shout “Hey I’m Lady Godiva!”



Written in collaboration with the very hilarious Jan - March 2018


Copyright © Nina Parmenter | Year Posted 2018


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Night Awakes Fear

Walking alone in the middle of the night
Holding hands with the cold in the pale moon light

I hear more than my footsteps; look over my back
The shadows from the trees were on the attack

I walked a bit faster, my heart began to race
The mist from my breath teased the skin on my face

Should I make a right? But I look to the left
In between my imagination and reason sat a cleft

I began to panic, but what the heck for?
Because fear was of the essence and nothing more

Sounds ricocheted off of who knows where
Like a scene displaced from your worst nightmare

Something was watching or following me
I was just waiting for something to jump out of a tree

Or grab my shoulder or touch my back
Causing me to urinate before I have a heart attack

I took a deep breath and leaned against the next street light
It must be my mind playing tricks on me tonight




Please rate=0)


Copyright © Kristina Reid-Hansen | Year Posted 2011


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Giggle till ya

	Giggle till ya?	9/8/11
Whoop’s, “that’s too funny oh stop your making me pee my pants.” Now that’s a good one, I’m so wet I need to change my pants.
Please stop my jaw hurts; I’m really serious it feels like it could fall off. Oh my stomach is killing me; you’re too funny I can’t stand it. Wait I think yes I did, “I peed in my pants.” 
My whole body hurts I haven’t laughed this hard since I don’t know when. I think I’m going to pass out, stop I mean it. Laughter, the best medicine my butt I could have a heart attack.
Whoop’s what’s that smell? Yeah between the hiccups you guessed it, special delivery right in my pants. I was drop down laughing so hard I couldn’t help it; what do you do when ya laugh till you cry and then laugh some more. Laugh and laugh then pass it on!
                                                                                      Debbie Knapp



Copyright © Debbie Knapp | Year Posted 2011


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The Legend of Smelly Nelly

Smelly Nelly was quite a charming girl,
She wore her hair in braids instead of curls,
Bathing several times per day in the Jewish way,
Yet many scoffed and sniffed,
exclaiming she smelt like manure in hay,
Nelly used expensive oils and attars,
some came from lands very far,
Her raiments were made of the finest silks
but people still told her she smelt
like days old milk,
They shunned and booed her,
talking behind her back,
hoping and praying she would have a heart attack,
The gripe they harbored had nothing to do with
Nelly's smell, it was because her family owned
several oil wells,
Neverthelss, she brought her own lunch which made
her naysayers feel as if they were incompetent bunches,
The farce of living as the Joneses do, never appealed to
Nelly because she knew the value of a dollar,
So while folks snickered and stared, corking their noses
causing her despair,
She sat and ate her snicker doodle sandwiches with her
little pinky waving in the air,
Smelly Nelly they chanted everyday, but she shrugged
her shoulders and continued on her merry way,
Cartier, Chanel and Youth Dew were always in her backpack,
but she knew it was hard for critics to understand her modest lifestyle,
They all rumoured that she lacked!
Afterall, she rather "enjoyed" their ignorance,
watching them treat her as if she were a rotten as mere happenstance,
But Nelly soon conquered her critics by blossoming into a
lovely swan, forgetting about the negativity, and meanness,
leaving the penny section to stew in their own mess......


Copyright © Margeret Bailey | Year Posted 2011


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THE RAVEN

THE RAVEN

Once upon a midnight fright, A raven found its way into my life, I could see his pains through his eyes while he was looking at me, I started feeling weak and somewhat weary, things are getting kind of scary. 
Ding-dong an old bell wronged from far, Oh, how the sound left a mark on my heart. Where words of the past, started making its way back. I felt I was about to have a heart attack when I started getting old flashbacks, over many quieting times of the dark side of my mind.
The curious volume of what was then, I truly thought was forgotten, until the old raven started doing his knocking. He was a jabbing and a tapping upon my bedroom window. While I was a sleeping in silence of a dream, but before long I seen myself looked away in a chamber of pain.
A place where the walls are gray and cold, where haunting creepiness are behind the other side of that wall, I hear the screams in true agony, while the raven keeps staring at me. Like he is trying to tell me something with his eyes, He is my only visitor so far in this dark cold room.
The sound muted just for a moment, but then I heard a beating sound of anger pounding at my chamber door. It wasn’t a tapping that is for sure. It was a sound like someone was wanting to even a sore. To lead me in fright for my life, Oh, raven why did you come to my chambers window? What is it you are wanting to tell me, before this door opens.
The more I look at the ravens’ eyes, I slowly started remembering all those hurtful times, but this raven was always by my side. bring me crumbs and sometimes meat for me to eat. I remember it was in late December, when I was out looking for an escape from he who has been haunting me in darken dreams.I was separated from life, were all my families and friends where, where true love swept over my soul. Visions I always had since my birth. But my life always seemed to be cured. It was okay at first. But with time passing I became eagerly to be set free, just to see what I could find about my life. Oh. How I could remember how everyone started to change.
They held so much envy and hate in their eyes, But, that was really no surprise. They didn’t seem right to me from the start. They didn’t have love in their heart. Each day and night they would make traps for me to fall into. So, I started studying their every move. They always tried to keep me confused. 
Vanity I say, while they looked away. While they were out plotting another fall. But I was borrowing time while they had been playing hateful games on my mind. OH, that late December, I was stroke down with fever. while they had locked me away in my chamber.
Oh, I do remember, that is when I became so ill I almost died. But the Raven kept on tapping on my window to let him in. that’s when we became friends. In the meanwhile, Spells have been cast upon me, that gave me darken dreams of he who haunts me. I could see the silky sad curtains hanging from my window.The rain was pouring down heavy, I had nothing to eat. But the raven found me water on the leaves of autumn. And he gave me sips of wild life while he feed me and watched over me. like if someone from far sent him to keep me safe even in darken dreams.

Poetic Judy Emery © 2017 2-28-017


Copyright © Judy Emery | Year Posted 2017


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Stubbornness

Original poem below...after the definition, found on www.google.com: "Full Definition of stubborn. 1a (1) : unreasonably or perversely unyielding : mulish (2) : justifiably unyielding : resoluteb : suggestive or typical of a strong stubborn nature UNSUPPORTED CODE 2 : performed or carried on in an unyielding, obstinate, or persistent manner UNSUPPORTED CODE Stubborn | Definition of Stubborn by Merriam-Webster www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/stubbornMerriam-Webster" https://www.google.com/search?q=stubbornness+definition&oq=stubbornness+definition&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l2.4837j0j7&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=0&ie=UTF-8 Original poem: Energized by nothing in particular Motivated to be like an over-active anteater Fire of desire consumed me as a whole I am a happy soul amongst a sad soul I am gloomy and I can’t help it I am bipolar and no one wants to hear my bullshit Head banging to Marilyn Manson Listening to Korn on the radio Disturbed and Linkin Park got me hooked Sorry, babe, but my schedule is already booked On a sexy girl named Trissa I love her because – uh… She is my life and everything in between Insightful foolishness wrapped around me I am nice and you are soundin’ mean I’m about to have a heart attack, my stunning baby Where have you been all my life? Even in death, you will be with me Despite the strife, you cut me open like a heart knife There’s no reason that I adore you, but I just do because you make me feel free We fight together…as one… I am the moon and you are the sun But…I don’t understand where you stand Stubborn Fire that’s salivating on your tongue Ring around me, Pride Close at Hand You’re grand, you’re my idol, so take my hand, my sexy fool…you’re my missing longue You make me breathe again You make me fall apart like rose pedals on the forest sky Then again, I am more brave than a million men Arrogant aggression evolves around my inner being, I can’t deny Independent off of others’ dependence Point the gun of blame at me, buddy Red of undead dread bleed through my inner being Rock n rollin’ on pop this evening… I’ll wear the cap of illegal pride…forget the haters… And the stuck-up, gangsters and the roller-skaters… That think they are all that when they are not I’m on the bridge, Above the watery grave I see Below me Rumor has it that I’m a hero and a villain combined I’ve been fined for being awfully kind So tired of being stepped on Time and time again You hurt me badly to the core of my existence It’s none of your business What I do in my daily life… Creativity and logic is getting less used in society Maturity and immaturity levels vary… I eye her suspiciously Like a security guard, checking out a witch in the hunting spree So scared and unprepared… Clinch your stereotypes, But know who you are deep inside Clearly, I was taken astray by wicked ways Confident strides is in my DNA Twist and turn with me, Serpent Serpentine Baby… Silly Kerfly, magic is for adults… I was a hobo I was a homeless guy, I already know Don’t assume who I am… I can’t deny That you take me as a lie Or as a joke rather… There are much more grapes of glory and grace to gather Vines of vibrant vulgarity is saturated on your tongue Your devouring tongue of pleasures… Beyond a million measures… Vibes of genius rummages through all of me Cuz all of you wants all of me Cuz all of me wants all of Him… Losing it already… I’m insane I’m a worthless son of a gun Stuck together like two peas in a pod Then, we went our separate ways I can live without wifi I can live without the internet I can live without you I can’t live without her I can live without him… But, let me sink into my chair today There’s too much to bear on television Ah man, no wonder I have headaches and an unfulfilled mission A mission of becoming the new me… My old ways are hunting me down I want to be free like an ever-growing tree… Wearing a crown of Tranquil Town ASAP, Give me a break QTC (quit the crap) You ate me up like scrumptious steak Touch me with your eyes Lick me with your flames We are good gals and guys So, play me like your app games You can tell everyone – I love you… I don’t care anymore… You are my number one I’m blue, then red again… Boo, it’s true… I hadn’t a clue… I’ve been missing you I like closeness I like affection Sports are exciting more or less I like perfection I’m a flawed mess


Copyright © JW Earnings | Year Posted 2016


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The little pen that tried to get drunk

That goofball husband of hers brought her to this joint to see her get drunk for the very first time. She actually plugged her nose trying to sip her first glass of beer. Good grief. 20 minutes and she barely finished it. She walked to the restroom and I felt her teetering just a little bit. She likes the feeling though, I can tell! I sure liked it when she started boogying to the beat of the band on her way back to the table. Too bad Mr. dingbat won’t ever dance with her. She keeps tapping her hands on the table to the rhythm of the music. That’s why I have to write so slow. . . . 
      Now  she’s   tryin ta   drink  another   beer  but   she   can   hardly stand it  an  her husband  sez come on don’t ya wanna know  how   it   fills   ta be drunk? She says   well at list I fill buzzd now. . . 

The nice buzz wore off. It’s at least an hour later. She and hubbie got this idea to go to the liquor store. First time she ever went to one. She thought maybe brandy would taste better so then she could drink something stronger and know how it felt to be drunk. Brandy sounded sweet and fruity to her. Boy was she wrong. She took a little taste and it burned going down. That stuff sucks just like the beer. . . . 

Wow she jus finisht tha hole boddle rily fast lik mebbie ten minuts ago so she kud fil drunk an she put me down ta finnish tha boddle in one shot    now she kant evin    kip her   eyez    opun    UH  ohhhhhhh

Epilogue:  The preceding narration was based on actual fact. Upon consuming an entire bottle of brandy in less than ten minutes, "she" immediately passed out, and I recall she awoke in the morning having forgotten everything that transpired once she fell asleep. Furthermore, when she went into the bathroom the next morning and saw some flecks of vomit on the walls, she was quite amazed. Why? Because she had no recollection of throwing up, and she realized her goofball husband had actually attempted to clean up a mess in their house for the first time in their young married life!!! 

By the way, Jenny, if you happen to be reading this, Shhhh. Please do not tell her other sisters. It would surely get back to you guys’ mother, and your poor upstanding church-loving mom might have a heart attack to hear of her daughter’s one transgression with the devil’s brew! Sincerely, Her Sober (albeit sometimes fanciful) Pen


Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2012


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The Driver of the Bus

The driver of the bus (like in the song)
Was urging folks to move along.

He called, “Hey Cellphone in your ear – 
Move it, buddy, to the rear!”

He nailed two women – “Move on back!”
I thought they’d have a heart attack.

There’s nothing like a little shame
To force the scofflaws to the game.


Copyright © ilene bauer | Year Posted 2014


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Conversation with an Angel Part 3

“Yeah, all the way. No ride, no bus, just walkin’. I can’t quit till I give you your
message, and finish drawing this sand script so you’ll know I’m not lying.” I was shocked 
by what he was telling me. I looked around half expecting to see one of my neighbors come
out laughing and pointing and shouting “HA! You’ve been punked!” but no one was around;
just he and I alone. The man began to speak, and this is truly what he said, “You’ve had a
hard road to hoe, and life hasn’t always been fair in your eyes. But your angel wants me
to tell you not to give up. You’re finally on the right path. And he’s proud of you.”
“He’s a he?” I asked, stupidly. “Yes, he’s a he (as if I’d just asked the lamest question
of all time), now will you let me finish?” “Okay, I’m sorry, I’m just not used to men
drawing angels and giving me a message.” The man stopped what he was doing, and looked up
at me. The look on his face was as if he was thinking “If I had a quarter for each time I
heard that…”, but he said nothing. He went back to drawing, and was working on the detail
of the face and neck, drawing an outline of the shirt collar, and then back to the face. 
I knew this picture, but I couldn’t tell who it was, I kept thinking it must be a famous
person, why was it so familiar? “Your angel wants you to know, you’re not alone, he’s been
with you forever—since you were pretty much born. He’s sorry he left when he did, he knows
you needed him.” I just listened now, “You lost him when you were about 12, and life got
rough on you. He was there watching, and protecting you best he could.” I was stunned; I
could see who the face was now. Then the man stood up, and placed his hand on my shoulder.
He said these words, “He says to tell you, don’t be worried about buying that house,
you’ll grow old in it, and even though the world seems bleak, you’re going to make it. He
says you need to hear that, because he says you’re going to have a heart attack if you
don’t quit worrying.”


Copyright © michael hornschuch | Year Posted 2011


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Silly One Liners



If I said you had a beautiful body Would you hold it against me, sweet lady What an opening line that would be Guarantees you a slap, there matey Why is it so hard for women to find men That are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because they usually already have boyfriends Specially if they're also good at cooking The difference between a husband and a dog The dog still gets excited to see you Sometimes I have to reintroduce myself To my wife, “hi, we're married, we two!” My birth certificate was a letter of apology Dad got from the condom company Let my mind wander and it didn't come back That's no reason to get all uppity The very worst time to have a heart attack Is during a game of charades Gotta hope you're really good at the game And they call 911 before you fade Okay here's one last giggle, hope you like it Finally had to stop drinking because Got tired of waking up in my car driving 90 Followed close behind by the fuzz © Jack Ellison 2015


Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2015


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Rap is Where it's At

Rap Is Where It's At

jump in the game no here to complain
being busy as a bee in a land of make believe
we shoot for the top but it ends in the flames
let me be the first to explain
I'm staying in the game this is my time
May shoot to the top in my prime or stand in line
Sugar is sweet like honey but I'm going to be the one who brings home the money
Life is funny in its twists and turn one soul soars while the other one burns
we can each learn from our teachers it's not a walk in the park late night double feature
we got to learn to stick close together no matter what the weather
see each of us has a gift we must use or its forgotten
thank God we got to kill that thug Ben Laden
search your heart you got great rhymes inside
don't fall away or try to run away & hide
go slow at first to take up the pace
some folks may think your from outer space
yet what do they know there just jealous you see
many don't even know there A.B.C's
stop spreading the disease it will knock you to you knees
look toward the ocean while you use your magic lotion
take a shot in the dark & someday you will find
you will never be left behind
it all comes down from within deep inside
look at the junkie in the gutter
the mother who doesn't have enough to pay her bills
she turns to cheap thrills to do what she has to do
have we bitten off far more then we could chew
kick it in the shower its your hour of power
in the end you get to make the final decision
it isn't found in some fake front wishing
Rap is where its at your going to make me have a heart attack
the signs are painted all around
listen as you'll hear it's nasty sound


Copyright © Mario Vitale | Year Posted 2017


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Confessions to a Bartender

BARTENDER! BARTENDER! Pour me a drink if you please
strongest you got...get the lime twist it, with a squeeze.
Had a rough night last night..got a bug for your ear
Pour yourself a stiff one..buddy... come-sit right here.
Remember the man I told you about -I saw the other day?
Said it's his playground....ask me to come out and play?
I went over that night…my husband’s out of town-
Bartender…let me tell you..let me tell you  what I found..
Mansion..pure mansion..from the front to the back
Money everywhere..he definitely has no lack
Bartender.. he..had..me- when he turned down the lights
He got closer asked me to stay even spend the night.

The dim lights, soft music, scent of his Drakkar Noir
Girl..I was ready what else could a girl ask for?
Just when I prepared to form my lips to say “yes”
What happened next.. go ahead take a guess
I tossed my head back to masculine scents of his cologne-
Another song began to play, girl it was my phone.
My husband was calling me.. he was on his way back-
Bartender, I thought I would die.. have a heart attack!!
I hurried up and got my shoes..coat and all the rest
If it hadn’t been for that…well..you know, I must confess!


Confessions To A Bartender




Copyright © Valerie Sherman | Year Posted 2011


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My Sexy Other Wife


By the time you read this 
You may think I’m insane
But I have to lay it out
So you can see it clear and plain

My wife, my true love, 
Her name is Jane
She is perfect in every way 
And just as insane

She has the qualities that 
Every man would desire
But to her I am the only one
That she wants to admire

You think J Lo’s figure is somewhat tasty?
And her main feature, to men would be her ***
But my Jane excels and makes J Lo look cheap
Jane’s *** and perky breast, Ooh Lord, they have class

She loves me like a miser loves money
She drips with sexuality, sweeter than honey
Oh this woman of mine almost broke my back
Six times I thought I was going to have a heart attack

So you may say get a life
But this is my tribute to my sexy wife
She is, everything to me 
She is the sister of Glen
My good, my best imaginary friend


Copyright © Sidney Hall Mad Poet | Year Posted 2010


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Struggles with life

19 in my city  bad enough that I already got two strikes with me so I keep my skateboard  close and move real swiftly I can do a couple a of grab tricks that involved a shifty females love me I get real swifty handles so good that I think I'm shift team all I really want is my millions quickly invest a couple million into my city can't nobody really kill it like me I don't wanna be mike see I'm me and that's JT yeah gone and hate on me it make me shine no time to hold the nine skateboard on my mind always on my grind 

Hit the block but I'm never selling rocks kick pushing pass the opps non stop where I'm from its skateboard or get stopped so I skate for the people you can expect an sequel I'm working hard so our money won't be equal and I don't wanna sound evil so I pray to the lord to stay peaceful skate skills like Knievel sometimes you gotta put the fear beneath you I can't stop thinking about my people that's why we can't be equal you can't be stressed when you're living this blessed I know my hair a mess put my city on my chest as a sign as respect on my super man shhh.

I think I killed this track aye can you run it back rappers break their necks trying to flow on easy tracks the skate park is my natural habitat watch me skate you might have a heart attack I never stay down I always come back get the latest iPhone and swear it ain't **** but me I swear I made it always grateful never hating always thankful that I'm always skating learning new tricks it's too amazing


Copyright © Jordan Hedgepeth | Year Posted 2015


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Romantic Fever

Could be it was just spring fever!
All I knew was my miserly uncle
With whom we were living,
Fell suddenly in love.
Still he held on tight
To his fat purse strings.
 
Ah, but Juliana, oh wonderful Juliana,
Never showing a hiccup of grace,
Somehow managed to purloin from him
Lovely presents that delighted
Her scheming and wanton heart.
 
But then who cared or bothered?
We were all madly in love with her,
Those turbid humid days.
Why worry about spring weddings?
Juliana took us all to picnics
Much to our youth's delight.
Yes we all were in favor of our uncle,
That he begot a wife,
Juliana mesmerized us.
For did she not make us happy,
With all those gifts she gave us
Behind my uncle's back?
 
To her we were just baby dragonflies
Captured in fancy colored bottles,
To be indulged in and left astray,
Maybe picked up some later time
As if a schedule had evolved
In her gracious mind.
 
I often wondered what was best
If not to tell my uncle all she spent.
I had a sneaking feeling
His heart was leaking fine.
Would he have a heart attack
And have Juliana all for us?
Who could tell?
He might turn us out into the barn.
His heart strong and full of fortitude,
Would not I be killing the golden goose?
So I held my tongue.
 
And we all suffered from hay fever
As we trudged in secluded fields
Frolicking in the new cut hay
Or tumbling on the grass in meadows gay,
That pleasant spring when
My miserly uncle married away. 


Copyright © Victor Buhagiar | Year Posted 2017


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Shawty

Every moment I pray,
That you have an extra day,
An extra words to say,
And an extra softball game you can play.
I still want to see your pretty smile on your face.
Do you remember the peanut butter slap?
In the bus coming back from a track meet we would rap.
You would make me laugh so hard I swear I was going to have a heart attack.
When I was your fake bf at the Madill track meet because them Long Grove's boys wanted to mack.
That was way way back.
Raven aka shawty I love you
And forever in my heart-Mario Perez


.


Copyright © Mario Perez | Year Posted 2012


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An Experiment Gone Wrong

Forgive me for not coming up to see you my dear. I do not want you to see me as I now appear. Out of pure necessity, I have to cover my head. You may have a heart attack, and drop dead. I gave those experiments I’ve been conducting another try. However, something happened and it all went awry. While I was inside the chamber, there was also a fly. For knowledge of this experiment, there is only one other. Please break the news gently to my brother. I am now a hideous creature I do not want you to see. No matter what it takes, bring that fly back to me. It is important that somebody catch that fly right away. If it dies, in this terrible state I will stay. Based on the 1958 film “The Fly”


Copyright © Robert Pettit | Year Posted 2012


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The Fake Ticket - a sequel

What do you mean it isn’t real
It was a winning ticket
And now all I can think to do
Is wonder where to stick it

A barcode and instructions
It sure looks real to me
It sure looks like a winner
How could this ever be

Well …
If you try to scan that barcode
You’ll see just what I mean
You just might see blue smoke
And wreck the poor machine

You buy them at the five and dime
Two fifty for a pack
I only gave you one
Or you would have a heart attack

Gosh…
I really didn’t mean it 
When I said those nasty things 
I really love your family
And the way your mother sings

The way your sister struts her stuff
And flaunts her diamond rings
The way your brother stuffs his gullet
Full of chicken wings

I would have gave it all to them
You know I was just fooling
I hope they keep on bringing food
You know I’ve had no skooling

Who thought that I was capable
Such utter foul demar
Who knew I’m so despicable 
It’s bound to leave a scar

Dang me and defeat me
They ought to take a stick and beat me
A tree to hang my shame on
A rope to write my name on
Copyright © Mike Martin 2015


Copyright © Mike Martin | Year Posted 2015


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Thinner

Thinner than a shadow,
the man in the mirror,
where did all the flesh go?
Consumed?

Consumed by what?
it begs the question,
he needs to glut,
that's my suggestion.

He's up all night,
he sleeps all day,
when does he eat?
I'm just saying.

His bones look like pin cushions,
his eyes are small and red,
If I didn't know better,
I'd swear that he was dead.

Thinner than a shadow,
the man in the mirror,
I know that if the wind blows,
he's bound to fly away.

Take him to McDonalds,
get him a Big Mac,
if he does one more single line,
he'll have a heart attack.

Thinner than a shadow,
the man in the mirror,
wait a minute, look! 
He disappeared!!


Copyright © richard michael | Year Posted 2015


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Tiger Fierce

You can pin me down and take everything from me.
Thinking you really do something but it'll make me come back stronger.
Say some things thati'll have you cry,frightened,or have a heart attack.
Take my family,friends, and other things i love that are important to me.
Ill show you how weak i can be.
Don't stir up the gemini that lies inside.


I've done many things
I've said many things
I've seen many things
I've felt many things
Things that made me want to die
Although my craziness hasn't begin to subside.

I was born to a soldier, from her i became a soldier.
Watched her knock down brick wall and break out steel cages.
Saw her fall when there was no hope.
Got back up when we called.
Fierce as a snake as loving as any great mother can be.
From her I learned even when everything is on you
use what you got, don't depend on anyone else.


Copyright © passion williams | Year Posted 2012


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Beach

When I see the man of my Dreams.  I feel happier or so it seams. My breathing starts to
deepen. My words start repeatin. My loins are on fire, I want him to take me higher.  As
he steps closer to me I feel as if I am going to faint. Will I have any restraint.  As he
rests his hand upon my breasts. By breathing is even faster. My mind twist and turns
wanting him to be my master. As he slips my shirt off of my persons my breathing worsens.
As he heads for my pants, He reminds me of a sycophants, He gently lays me down on the
sand so brown. The water is all around I am heaven bound. As he puts his hand under my
back I feel as though I am going to have a heart attack. We finally become one I feel as
though I have won. 30 minutes of awesome pleasure. I will treasure this. The sand gives
way to the crashing bay and the smell of salt lingures in the air. and we lay there with
out a care till the sun sets the day.


Copyright © amber jenkins | Year Posted 2009


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the hypocondriac

i dont feel well at all today
i think ive got the flu
the sweat is pouring out of me
like ive had a vindaloo
its minus three degrees outside
the frost is on the ground
but i am burning up and now
my head is spinning round
the pins and needles in my arm
are shooting down my side
and now im going dizzy
like im on a fairground ride
a crushing pain is in my chest
my breathings getting slack
i cant beleive i chose today
to have a heart attack


Copyright © brian murphy | Year Posted 2009


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Why Did We Come Down Here Today

There is lousy luck at a slot machine.
We play roulette after blackjack.
The table games are just as mean.
Below the dealer’s ace, there is a jack.
Bet on red, but it comes out black.
Lady Luck disappears this day.
It looks as if she’s hit the sack.
Why did we come down here today?

The summer is a pleasant as I have seen.
Tourists come to this town in an attack.
But you would prefer the casino scene.
The winds are keeping our ship aback.
Lower and lower goes each chip stack.
Seven-out at craps makes me say,
“common sense is what most people lack.”
Why did we come down here today?

The situation we’re in is hardly serene.
Today, I am hardly taken aback.
My wallet is holding less and less green.
Our express train has gone off the track.
Whatever happened to your gambling knack?
It appears as if it’s gone away.
I just hope I don’t have a heart attack.
Why did we come down here today?

Right now, I can’t even afford a snack.
I know we’ll be back again some day.
What I went through, most guys can’t hack.
Why did we come down here today?




Copyright © Robert Pettit | Year Posted 2011