Best Hammond Poems
Staring, vapor locked, at my Hammond B-3 console organ, which dominates my
kitchen. Surely a symbol of my madness. I can't help, but think, if the keys were
the days of my life, and the black ones represented the bad days, are there
enough black keys?? Fighting petulance, self-pity...losing...
Wondering if I can stand another minute alone. Atop my organ, music books,
and the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe, another mad poet.
Plagued by physical agonies that merely complete a perfect circle of anguish
and distress. Even to worrying of misspelling a word again. Pure lunacy.
Remembrance of my 1863 death at Missionary Ridge, something I became
aware of as a young child before I'd ever heard of reincarnation. Or just an early
sign of the madness to come??
I am lost in a befouling miasma of deep despair. My life's hopes down to 2
desires; one last music band, and taking my son to Disneyworld. Money is
meaningless to me.
I am well aware that death is as natural as life. And I would venture to guess
that the loss of my father, my young cousin Billy, my dear friend Mark Trotiner, and
too many others, are "Business As Usual" in this universe. But not for me.
Being terminally ill myself is something I have long since come to terms with.
And what a reunion it will be!! But I must continue to go on surviving as though I
cherish this long and barren life.
My writing, especially my poetry, my poet friends, my music, my musician
friends, and a few relatives and others; these are the meds that work for me; not
the 30 or so pills I must deal with everyday. So thank you all.
And now an addendum, one which brightened my day:
Mark Trotiner long maintained that he gave Mark Knoffler (Dire Straights) the
idea for his hit song "Money For Nothing", when Mark Knoffler came into the
appliance chain store he worked in way back then, where he bought, and drove
off with several T.V.s, singing the prototype words he'd gotten from Mark Trotiner.
Over the years, I tested him repeatedly, looking for the tale-tell deviation in the
story one finds in a false tale. He never faltered, he never failed.
Continued.....
Categories:
hammond, adventure, death, family, friendship,
Form:
Prose Poetry
DIRE STRAITS was playing on the KITCHEN radio while ROSIE tried in vain to play along
with “Money for Nothing” on her HAMMOND organ. Her house always looked like a NUCLEAR
WASTE(land) with huge TID-BITS of food all over the counters and floor. Her husband
Roscoe was an inept VACUUM SALESMAN who went door to door wearing blue SPANDEX
BOXER SHORTS. His face was full of zits that looked like LUNAR CRATERS. Roscoe constantly
dabbed the zits with LISTERINE SOAKED TISSUE(s) as his MEDICINE of choice. It wasn’t
CONVENTION(al) but it lessened the PAIN somewhat.
FRIENDS and neighbors never invited the pair to any of their GIG(s) because they ate
like “cone heads” when they were in the WINE AND DINE mode. On rare occasions when
they did partake of a repast at someone’s house they left WORMHOLES in all the sandwiches.
They would just take a sample bite and put it back on the tray which always reviled the next
one in line.
The two of them are so socially ignorant that when it came time to thank the host for the
invitation, they felt it was a UFO situation. To them, this meant in their DRIFTING minds they
were Un F...ing Obligated to say thanks. I say all of this because knowing my brother and
sister-in-law as I do, I guarantee they will never experience any INSOMNIA or remorse over
their outrageous public behaviors.
* For entry in the Wacky Weekend Challenge
Categories:
hammond, funny, satirehouse, house,
Form:
Narrative
In Dire Straits we now find Rosie,
Sitting with Hammond in her kitchen, cozy.
If only she'd taken her pain medicine
Gone with friends to the UFO convention,
Then she wouldn't be doing the wine and dine,
Scared of this vacuum salesmans intention.
He says he wears spandex boxer shorts
His cologne smells like nuclear waste of some sort,
And his complexion looks like lunar craters,
While his smile reminds her of an alligator's.
The conversation keeps drifting, from wormholes to insomnia,
With tidbits of insanity to help her diagnose schizophrenia.
Hitchcock would really have enjoyed this gig.
Will Rosie survive? Is Hammond "The Ripper"? Tune in tomorrow,
For the next exciting episode "The Issue of the Listerine Soaked Tissue".
Categories:
hammond, funny
Form:
Verse
That Hammond B3 can spit and growl,
Any other organ will throw in the towel...
Add a nice Rhodes piano to the mix,
And you have a sound that you'll never need to fix
Ah, a chance at a pipe organ would be ecstasy,
And likely the highlight of my life,
But a hot jam with good musicians,
Is more orgasmic than the most beautiful a wife.
Categories:
hammond, life, music, passion,
Form:
Bio
"Roll on tonight my mates are coming round
For a few cold beers and some rocking sounds
Time is drawing near, as I hear a knock at the door
Blimey! at this time of the night, a vacuum salesmen stands before"
"Hey pal make it quick, I have a party to host
Tell me your pitch, now disappear your a ghost
The best place for them is in the lunar craters
Sucking on Listerine soaked tissues, singing, "see you later alligator"
"Another knock on the door, and I'm pleasantly surprised
All my intended buddies on my doorstep, the parties arrived
For a night of drifting, ending with earache and pain
Entering wormholes of insomnia, no pain no gain"
"Our party is going to be like a cool Rock 'n' Roll gig
Beers flowing a plenty, this ain't no highland jig
We start with Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention
Best friends and myself, our schooldays convention"
"This is no wine and dine as Dire Straits play
The "Sultans of Swing" sounds excellent any day
Next we play Deep Purple, listening to Jon Lord's Hammond sounds
Music is our medicine in six speaker surround"
"In between sounds to the kitchen we head
Tid-bits and more beers to keep our gig well fed
We sample some Grunge Metal listening to Nuclear Waste
But once again Classic Rocks rules, as Grunge is not our taste"
"For the next couple of ours it's like The Monsters of Rock
AC/DC and UFO, the Rock never stops
We air guitar to "Whole Lotta Rosie"
Wearing spandex boxer shorts, one of us drumming like Cozy"
"We all awake in the morning, some with sore heads
But it was never a night that we were ever going to dread
It was a bunch of guys who met whilst at school
Who released their friendly energy, like fools but really cool"
"Tom, I never knew you, but I thank Catie for this
Writing this poem, just fills me with bliss
I know you will be busy, but if you happen to look down
Give our convention a shout, join our Rock n Roll clowns"
My tribute to Mr Tom Bell, so many people spoke about him.
Reading what they said, I only wish I knew him.
Categories:
hammond, inspirational, music, on writing
Form:
Quatrain
My friends Rosie, Hammond and me
Had insomnia and were in the kitchen one Sunday
Discussing The Nuclear Waste Medicine Convention
We wined and dined and had a good old time,
Hammond in his Spandex boxer shorts and
me feeding Tid- Bits of Listerine soaked tissue
to my crazy, vacuum salesman biting Bichon Friese,
"Are we going to go to that gig?" we all asked eath other
After all, the convention was held on a UFO.
"Ahh, heck, maybe we should go," we deliberated
"Otherwise we may be in Dire Straits and infiltrated!"
So hence we went- to the Nuclear Waste Medicine Convention
Speaker talked about lunar craters and wormholes.
Me, I was drifting off to sleep, as Rosie
held her hands to her ears as if in pain-
Hammond asked,"What is there to gain? Let's go
and blow this idiot convention."
There was nothing to gain except a fun way to go
Riding around in a UFO.
A. Green
Categories:
hammond, funny
Form:
Free verse
Grey was his wig and angry was his mood
On that fateful day I served him his food.
The sudden silence in his court was deafening and
Oh, it remained so till the very end.
He wasn't prepared to listen to me
Even when all things proved my innocence.
Lawyer Hammond, thanks for making him now see.
Later, I'll apologize for saying the first letters vertically!
Categories:
hammond, funny,
Form:
The world is run by tyrants who don't really care
Like the Cameron's the Clinton's the Bush's and especially Tory Blair
These warmongers ruin lives and destroy communities
And they all should spend life in prison doing toilet duties
People are coming together realising where it went wrong
United in solidarity is what'll make the people strong
We need to keep up the momentum and push for fairer times
And stop the evil Tories committing heinous crimes
Because under the current Tory rule it's caused a lot of pain
Theresa May and Hammond I look down on in distain
Giving tax breaks and subsidies to their Etonian chums
While offering the poor and vulnerable only loose change and crumbs
So why do we accept homelessness and foodbanks today
While the rich quaff shampers on luxury yacht's far away
Because under the current system it only benefits a few
So people need to suffer and that includes me and you
The world is run by tyrants who don't really care
Like the Cameron's the Clinton's the Bush's and especially Tory Blair
These warmongers ruin lives and destroy communities
And they all should spend life in prison doing toilet duties
Categories:
hammond, corruption, humanity, political, poverty,
Form:
Rhyme
* For Catie's contest
Rosie was relaxing in her kitchen
Alone she sat, friends at a convention
So lonely, no one to wine and dine
At her Hammond estate on Lake Michigan so fine
Munching on Tid-Bits that had the taste
Well…let’s face it…of nuclear waste
Medicine she had taken to ease the pain
Of an insomnia-induced migraine
Wearing only her husband’s Spandex boxer shorts
A knock at the door; “Vacuum salesmen!” her retort
Tried to freshen her breath with Listerine soaked tissue
But the medication was developing another issue
She felt her mind drifting through wormholes of space
Not even a UFO had found this place
In Dire Straits now, she stared at lunar craters
That were filled by eerie invaders
She beheld a strange species of alligators
“We need a new gig,” said one of predators
The reptile approached her hungrily
“And you look like a grand prize of culinary”
But suddenly she sneezed; it broke the spell
And now she was back home in vacuum salesmen hell
She awoke in her kitchen and trashed the medication
Knowing she sorely needed a lengthy vacation
*Dedicated to late Soup member Tom Bell.
Categories:
hammond, funny, imagination
Form:
Couplet
"Man, I love that Dire Straits song "Brothers In Arms" ", he said in the kitchen
"That Hammond organ just takes me drifting..."
Through wormholes and lunar craters in a UFO.
Friends, nuclear waste, pain, insomnia, vacuum salesmen, all disappear in a single tone.
"Rosie!!!...bring me a Listerine soaked tissue for my cold sore...Ahh! That's the medicine!"
She struts by in a pair of Spandex boxer shorts, like a groupie at a gig.
So far from the Sci-fi convention where they first met
Not the old "wine and dine" for them, no sir!
He set the trap and baited her with Tid-Bits of his inner self, painfully bare.
From humble beginnings, a love, long and true, exists in quiet majesty.
Categories:
hammond, urban, me,
Form:
Free verse
I could just imagine Tom
dancing in the Lord's Kitchen
wearing his Spandex Boxer Shorts
while his other goofy Friends Hammond and Rosie
pose as Vacuum Salesmen
at a Dire Straits Gig
making Tidbits and poking Wormholes
with their Listerine Soaked Tissue box
Oh I know Tom has to be laughing in sweet Pain
as these two nut cases aboard an U.F.O.
and stay drifting to another brilliant Convention
on Insomnia and Nuclear Waste Medicine
Bet they end up thinking that Lunar Craters
is the head cheese in charge
As they sit to Wine And Dine for free
Categories:
hammond, death, fantasy, funny, imagination,
Form:
Free verse
There's a tale to tell,
That happened back in the '60's.
Oh, how I remember it well!
Back in the days
On the street of Dire Straits,
When I lived life in a haze.
One night I awoke with a start,
Thinking of innocent Rosie
And how she'd broken my heart,
Creating insomnia for me.
I was driven up from my bed,
Needing medicine to sleep,
I couldn't get her out of my head.
One, two, then four pills I took,
Sitting in my Spandex boxer shorts,
Soon I was drifting, without any pain,
Having a weird dream, of sorts.
I floated through wormholes in the wall,
Into lunar craters filled with nuclear waste.
This really happened, I still clearly recall.
Vacuum salesmen were arriving on UFO's
Gathering for their annual convention,
Bringing friends, they came in droves.
“Let's wine and dine!” their leader said,
As the crowd demanded Tid-Bits for food.
Then suddenly, I saw back in my kitchen,
My friends gathered in somber mood.
The gig was over; a Hammond organ played,
Listerine soaked tissue was passed around,
While I lay on the floor all frazzled and frayed.
Since then, I never touch those little pills that I took.
It's rare times, when I can't seem to catch any sleep,
Then, I pass the long, quiet nights by reading a book.
I wish I could convince everyone my story is true!
Such a scary time, when I went out of my head,
And saw me quiet taken by the turn of events.
How can I ever explain the words I never said?
The words, “I love you Rosie. Please be my wife.”
Oh, but my best friend beat me in winning her hand,
Now, it's him, not me, having a miserable life!
Categories:
hammond, funnyme,
Form:
Rhyme
Rosie Hammond went to a convention held in the town of Gig Harbor
With vacuum salesmen she would wine and dine while worrying about her daughter.
She was suffering from pain caused by the medicine she took for her insomnia disorder
Drifting off to sleep before the meal was complete she dreamt a UFO took her to the boarder.
Being in such dire straits to stay awake she sniffed a Listerine soaked tissue
Loosing their wits watching these tid-bits her friends asked, “What’s been bothering you?”
“Don’t get your spandex boxer shorts all out of sorts making lunar craters from wormholes,
You’re daughter will be fine just give her some time,” are the things that Rosie was told.
So they continued to taste the nuclear waste sent from the restaurant’s kitchen
And Rosie’s mind was free to let her be a contributor to the convention.
Categories:
hammond, funny
Form:
Rhyme
Louisiana on my brain
As I’m arriving in my city of Hammond / Ponchatoula
All I see is a delightful town .
I see the beautiful peaceful swamps.
I see the beautiful bridge that scares me.
They call Louisiana the poorest state.
But I say it’s a special state.
The home of the strawberry festival in Ponchatoula
The home of LSU
The home of the Lions/Lady lions in Hammond
The home of the Brown Pelican
And the home of Mardi Gra.
Louisiana isn’t a ghetto story that we talk about .
It’s a place to be peaceful and have good times together.
The swamp tells us that we should have hope and faith in us and everyone we love and respect.
Louisiana is an ambitious state that holds on our generation to generations and to generations.
I’m glad that Louisiana has given me talent.
It ain’t about the grass being greener it’s about knowing what to do and how to make the grass getting greener to grow and rises.
Louisiana is my roots
Louisiana is my blood
Louisiana is my growth.
Louisiana is my love.
Louisiana is my heart to my kin.
And Louisiana is my spirituality when I demise and go up to Heaven to join my dearly beloved Uncle Clarence of Savior.
Categories:
hammond, adventure, beautiful, black african
Form:
white doves and white roses,
white gloves and right poses,
small fingers, big diamonds,
famous singers like beres hammond,
my bride well dress,
my clothes steam pressed,
i kiss her on her cheek,
then watch her tears fall as she speak,
on the mic she speaks loud,
mom in the crowd looking at me proud,
our day is finally its bin a long walk,
she's done her vows its my turn to talk,
so i say" i wear your name on my heart like a crest,
my heart beats for you as if it were your own i must confess,
you've touched me beyond my heart....you touch my soul,
everywhere we go i watch my back because your worth more than gold,
so im told" were a match made in heaven" its written in the sky,
i promise to always love you and never make you cry,
i promise to be honest, faithful and true,
i will never go astray i will only belong to you,
through the good, bad and sick times mental and physical,
i promise to keep the faith and pray an wait for a miracle,
because our love is so strong we will always stay connected,
we have a bond and no man can delfect it,
i know life is not always about a happy endding,
but we have ours because this is or wedding,
now the day is done,
where two have became one,
exit the church doors and enter the white cadilac,
our friend up in front and we in the back,
we both call our boss and then turn off the phone,
thn enjoy ourselves on our honey moon...........
Categories:
hammond, weddingheart, day, heart, love,
Form:
Couplet