Best Guffawed Poems

It’s dreadful, a disaster, it’s a terrible calamity
Housewives going frantic for the thing they seek but cannot see
Supermarket workers helping those who shout the most
Try their best to find a jar of spread to spread on toast

But all the angry faces glaring at the empty...

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I love bright outside Christmas sights,
                especially colorful lights
		on evergreen trees
		that sway in the breeze
		and snowmen on clear, wintry nights.

		I just witnessed something quite strange,		
		a snowman so wrongly arranged.
		He stood...

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Are You listening, God?      
       I'm not perfect; I'm flawed--
         Spoke not the truth; 'twas all fraud.
         And...

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They were gambling in front of the house.
Manservants and pages bustled about
Serving Suitors who just curse and carouse.
Few mix wine with water. I heard one shout,
"Clean down the tables with wet sponges! Rouse
Yourselves! And when you've done that lay them out
Again!" Some others carve mountains...

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It’s time to pack the rocket,
Because there’s no need for cars.
For our first vacay,
That’s as far away,
As the wonderful world of Mars.

Yes that’s what the brochure said;
It’s a wonderful world out there.
So grab the yout’s,
And lunar boots,
But don’t forget the extra air.

I’ll always recall that...

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What will their eternity win?
Greed, as a vice makes some men grin.
Money is their God.
Poor folks bear guffawed.
Then games bring a different kingpin!

© June 1, 2011
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen...

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My veggie tray's selection was unique.
'Twas still offered to a jittery sheikh
Who hopped from foot to foot,
Ignoring the ginger root,
Took an onion, saying, "Gotta take a leek!"

He ran off to the loo speedily.
Later on, he returned back to me.
Assessed my tray and proceeded
To eat a...

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The Keystone Cops were funny,
Chaplain, Keaton, Lloyd, and Fields too.
Laurel and Hardy, and Will Rodgers,
Were just some of the names we knew.


Who can forget the Stooges, 
Or all the pies we saw them throw?
Who didn't laugh at the Brothers Marx,
Or Abbot and Costello?


Berle, Caesar, Skelton,...

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The Keystone Cops were funny
Chaplin, Keaton, and Fields too.
Laurel & Hardy and Will Rogers
were some of the names we knew.

Who can forget the Stooges
or all the pies we saw them throw.
Who didn't laugh at the Brothers Marx
or Abbot & Costello?

Berle, Caesar, Crosby & Hope
could always...

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Sat to jot down limerick in log book
Inept to find my pen carried miffed look
Probed my mum who lay on bed
She guffawed and slapped my head
The clutched one tumbled from hair as I shook

Aug 29, 2020

Note:Limerick fun poetry Contest.
Syllables checked: Howmanysyllables.com
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin....

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I met a chap in an English pub and asked from whence he came.
"Harumph! I hail from Piddlehinton", he pompously did proclaim!
"And you sir?", he asked and I proudly puffed out my chest.
"I come from Bean Blossom, Indiana, USA, out of the great Midwest!"

With that...

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It Happened to me!

Have you seen Micky
he's wet and he's sticky
he fell into a bucket of cream.
Well I laughed and guffawed
then tripped on a board
that soon wiped the smile off my face.
Now Micky's wet, still sticky I bet
but unlike me was in the right place.
Cause...

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Sintered tiles of green wreathed marbles
bejewelled in steps that elevate to where you are entombed
incense wafts white and slate, demure and shy
my growing guilt is deflowered by your-her friend's- sly smirk
she scoffs along-was she forgotten, faded and gone when you left her cow carcass dead
she...

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encapsulated within the providing of fun through ha-ha’s


if you feel that you were born with the unfortunate reality of not being able to laugh at
anything---
if you cannot find anything
humorous---
if you have
never
ever
belted back & guffawed amongst friends
or 
more importantly
sometimes amidst them (when they have no idea...

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We danced in the rain
fleeing under our zincked roof only when the thunder roared
like we stepped on its  tail
as the soles of our feet pattered on the earth
Mother would make supper
calling out to me, "Ghenerho. You'll get cold!"

And when I'll return she'll roll up...

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