Best Goofball Poems
[NOTE:This is just a bit of silly fun]
Beat out this rhythm baby,
You can surely do it baby,
Beat out this rhythm to the clock!
Beat out this rhythm baby,
There’s no room in it, for maybe,
Do it, with a goofball in a sock!
There, is no room for error,
We can pull this off together,
Beat out our rhythm with your sock!
If you feel you cannot play,
Try it out, another day,
Our rhythm will, never cease to shock!
So:
Beat out our rhythm baby,
There’s no room in here for maybe,
Never mind those people who will mock!
Beat out the rhythm baby,
Do it like your acting crazy,
Smash up everything that’s in the shop!
Categories:
goofball, funny
Form:
Rhyme
One moment,
Dancing in the Gates of Heaven.
Than the next,
Monty Python Flying Circus.
Staring Shoel in fearless,
Anything else unwritten between the gazing stars & earth.
Is that what it is all about?
Opened heart-
Never given the readers a chance in dull reading?
(Inspired in the highest of all of you in your comments to my writings, thank you
truly, indeed!)
Categories:
goofball, on writing and words,
Form:
My dad is bigger than yours she said.
It made me mad; I wished she was dead.
Took my anger to my Uncle Ned.
He started laughing, happy instead.
Most serious now, sick in my head,
Ran to my cousin, Goofball named Zed.
He chased me off, his face spitball of red.
With laughter shaking his feather bed.
I decided to sit in my little she-shed.
Devoured Ritz crackers ‘til I was fed.
Refused to talk to my Uncle Ted.
Who was spitting a story about Brother Ed.
I rode off on my purple and pink Moped.
Had an accident, needed bandage and a med.
The nurse who helped me was named Mrs. Ked.
Beautiful, she was a recent newlywed.
My dad is bigger than yours she said.
I was shocked for a second, but then I read
A book, settled down, no longer in my head.
Seeing the humor of Ed, Zed, Ned and Ted.
Categories:
goofball, repetition,
Form:
Monorhyme
Football, volleyball, baseball, softball,
Racquetball, handball, basketball, hardball. . . .
There're lots of sports in the world you play with a ball,
And you can't play any of them if you're an oddball.
If you want to be good at any such sport,
You've certainly got to give it your all.
No such sport is as easy as playing with a snowball.
Choose one of those sports and pay all your attention to it.
If you don't devote your energy to it,
You'll surely fall into a downfall.
Before your practice, you shouldn't take a highball
Or any other kind of alcohol.
If you do, you may get into a pitfall.
During a game, there're numerous dangers to forestall.
If you don't take enough care, you may rush into a sidewall.
Or you may even get your head crushed against a stonewall.
Be on guard not to catch cold during a snowfall.
If you make any such blunder, you'll end up being a goofball.
After your practice, take a good rest, which is a real cure-all.
Whenever you feel dry in your nose, use a spray of aerosol.
If your girlfriend is with you, ask her to put on a camisole.
If she's a beautiful girl from Nepal,
Have her use a brilliant orange parasol,
Whose design reminds you of a refreshing waterfall.
If you feel uncomfortable kissing her,
Try some toothpaste with xylitol,
Perhaps with a little bit of menthol.
That may remind you of your ex-lover
Who spoke beautiful Provençal.
When you think you've eaten too much,
Start watching your level of cholesterol.
If you don't, you may be no better than a neanderthal.
If you do, your life will get back to a pastorale.
Well, I think that by now I've told you all.
(June 28, 2015)
Categories:
goofball, humor, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
“Jealousy”
Jimmy had odds to beat, one he was a black teen and the temptations of big city’s Streets.
But a single black mother’s determination held his attention sternly,
So he had only Minimal interaction with streets.
He had rickets but Jimmy could catch any ball.
He ran with a gang that like to brawl,
Then he entered a Youth Center where a Mentor introduced him to football.
Pop Warner he’s leader of the team,
Onto High School Football team as runner for TD’s.
Scouts without doubts offered degrees.
Mother’s pleased when he goes to USC, to be toast of the university.
Jimmy rode football like a Hell’s Angel rides his hog.
He played halfback, fullback carrying the ball.
Top backers called, packs of women clawed,
Because for a rental car he ran through a mall.
Sydney was a naive Germany beauty queen,
Blond haired eyes emerald green.
Done nothing much since she jumped with the school cheer team.
But she had dreams, being famous on T.V., a celebrity.
But she’s stalled in the Pokipsy Mall,
Serving chili, hamburgers and hotdogs.
When in comes Jimmy, walking tall, followed by his enthralled.
Each sees the other and head over heels each falls.
Their love, sweet, she felt entitled to be,
With the famous Jimmy.
After their affair they married, two heirs, beach house on Bundy Street,
Her face on T.V. with Jimmy, her dream is complete.
But Jimmy believes in slavery,
Believes possessions are bounty one forever keeps,
And Sydney is his property.
But black eye secrets don’t keep,
So she and her parents agree, divorce Jimmy immediately.
Jimmy falls, fell by divorce when the gavel falls.
But most of all,
He felt affronted by the German goofball in front of media tell-all,
So he watches her like a hawk, to see with whom she walks.
She saw a new fella who won her heart and Sydney falls.
He wines and dines her many times and shows respect to all.
So Jimmy waits, pissed off jealousy he has no date, until one night on her Ronald calls.
Greens seethe engulfs Jimmy from head to feet, it shuts off reasoning.
Disrespect for “The Great ME” is all he sees in this rivalry for his property.
He sees she succeeds with this non-minority.
To the door during their adoring greeting Jealousy creeps,
Like Flash he slash the throat of the one he knows,
Then at speed stabs repeatedly the one she greets,
As he tries to flee from Jealousy.
Categories:
goofball, abuse, betrayal, celebrity, jealousy,
Form:
Narrative
The Jazz and Pizzazz would not be what it is
If not for the Moms of the musical kids
Sure it’s the Dads who build every set
But it’s the Moms of these shows that we mustn’t forget
They sew on the sequins and alter the hems
And buy the girls ear rings when the song calls for gems
They make all the calls and drive kids around
These show choir Moms just never slow down
They handle the money on fund raising schemes
They go on the trips and chaperone teens
They might stay up all night on a chair in the hall
Just to be sure no one acts a goofball
They’ve been known to bake the cookies and cake
Take tickets you know at every show
They know all the tricks with pins and duct tape
To keep costumes together or girls into shape
You’ll find them all back stage working in the wing
You know these show choir Mothers can do just anything
Their shoulders get cried on when songs don’t go right
They’re high-fives and hugs come every closing night
They don’t get recognition for all the things they do
Unless you count the love and smiles they often get from you
So on this anniversary on that final curtain call
Be sure to thank the Show Choir Moms who always gave their all
Categories:
goofball, daughter, family, mother, school
Form:
Rhyme
You are so grown now.
11 years old and seem like 26.
No mom, just me, and you are happy,
Thank you, God, for the gift of patience.
Honor student, eminently popular and talented.
Long hair, beautiful eyes and just as clumsy as me.
So smart for one so young, innocence lost.
Still want to be tickled good night, baby girl.
Daughter, friend, roommate, partner, goofball
You fill so many roles in my life.
You have made parenting so easy for me
Thank you, daughter. No reason. Happy Tuesday.
Categories:
goofball, daughter, dedication, love, thank
Form:
That goofball husband of hers brought her to this joint to see her get drunk for the very first time. She actually plugged her nose trying to sip her first glass of beer. Good grief. 20 minutes and she barely finished it. She walked to the restroom and I felt her teetering just a little bit. She likes the feeling though, I can tell! I sure liked it when she started boogying to the beat of the band on her way back to the table. Too bad Mr. dingbat won’t ever dance with her. She keeps tapping her hands on the table to the rhythm of the music. That’s why I have to write so slow. . . .
Now she’s tryin ta drink another beer but she can hardly stand it an her husband sez come on don’t ya wanna know how it fills ta be drunk? She says well at list I fill buzzd now. . .
The nice buzz wore off. It’s at least an hour later. She and hubbie got this idea to go to the liquor store. First time she ever went to one. She thought maybe brandy would taste better so then she could drink something stronger and know how it felt to be drunk. Brandy sounded sweet and fruity to her. Boy was she wrong. She took a little taste and it burned going down. That stuff sucks just like the beer. . . .
Wow she jus finisht tha hole boddle rily fast lik mebbie ten minuts ago so she kud fil drunk an she put me down ta finnish tha boddle in one shot now she kant evin kip her eyez opun UH ohhhhhhh
Epilogue: The preceding narration was based on actual fact. Upon consuming an entire bottle of brandy in less than ten minutes, "she" immediately passed out, and I recall she awoke in the morning having forgotten everything that transpired once she fell asleep. Furthermore, when she went into the bathroom the next morning and saw some flecks of vomit on the walls, she was quite amazed. Why? Because she had no recollection of throwing up, and she realized her goofball husband had actually attempted to clean up a mess in their house for the first time in their young married life!!!
By the way, Jenny, if you happen to be reading this, Shhhh. Please do not tell her other sisters. It would surely get back to you guys’ mother, and your poor upstanding church-loving mom might have a heart attack to hear of her daughter’s one transgression with the devil’s brew! Sincerely, Her Sober (albeit sometimes fanciful) Pen
Categories:
goofball, funny, husband, drink, husband,
Form:
Narrative
F - First of November, winter takes the reins,
R - rime appears as Jack Frost has his first peek,
O – Oddly it seems, the Sun moves out of town;
S - shortly, the grass will turn a nasty brown.
T - The fall days will grow briefer week by week.
Y - Yes, winter is here and Jack entertains.
J - Jogging, Jack makes quick work of all his rounds.
A - Ah! he cackles, as we turn up the heat.
C - Crystals cluster, and sadly he retreats;
K - King of winter has hardened up the grounds.
G - Gone the leaves; outdoor fun is out of bounds;
O - other entertainment we’ll find pleasing.
E - Evenings colder, temps have dropped to freezing.
S - Soon snow appears but Jack cannot be found.
M - Missing, he skips Christmas then New Year calls;
I - I’ll bet he 's gone to warm winds they’ll cater,
S - seems he wants no blame for ice-packed snow.
S - Strange as that is, where does the jokester go?
I - In hiding, closer to the equator?
N - Notwithstanding thaw, he’ll return next fall.
G - Gentle guy, Jack, not gung ho, not goofball.
Jan. 4, 2017
Sponsor Caren Krutsinger
Contest Name Autumn Acrostic Poetry Contest
Categories:
goofball, 11th grade, allusion, autumn,
Form:
Acrostic
Hey there my little goofball.
Just landing in to say,
Rocky roads seem oh-so-smoothe when I'm with you.
My worries leave,
But just in case they don't,
You're always there to hug them away.
Through the easy and tough,
Smoothe and rough,
Babe, I'll always have your goofy back.
Note: This poem is written on a picture I drew of an anime turtle with a lady bug on its back.
Categories:
goofball, love
Form:
Free verse
I am sarcastic
A smart-ass
I do what I want
Yet I'm quiet
Self-spoken
But not at all blunt
I am determined
But lazy
Stubborn & mean
I am smart
And creative
With music,I'm a fiend
I'm a goofball
Observant
Yes I am weird
But still normal
But you know me
Let's get one thing clear
I'm no push-over
I don't quit
Without a try
Yes words can hurt me
So you will see me cry
I am not what you think
Yes I do drink
Caring for none
I am honest and modest
I'm cool and so chill
I am all thee above
I am so very real
Categories:
goofball, song, song-write,
Form:
Rhyme
Winter, spring, summer, fall
These aren’t the seasons at all
The first is Christmas giving
Makes me happy to be living
March Madness is a blast
Three short weeks, so it doesn’t last
Vacation may be the best
Anytime you go on a quest
College football is the best of all
Unless you are a goofball
Categories:
goofball, basketball, christmas, football, vacation,
Form:
Rhyme
He was born, he was happy, he was perfect.
He was sick.
He was strong, he was a fighter.
He was a brother, he was a goofball, he was a genius.
He was given a short sentence on this hell called Earth,
For that we should be thankful.
But he is loved. He is missed. He is a constant reminder to live to the fullest.
Tears are still shed, hearts are still broken.
If only the shadows could bring him back as he was before.
Before the cancer took the sparkle from his smile.
Before the medication took his energy.
Before the tubes replaced the happiness in his eyes with pain.
When he was still my little brother and my savior, instead of just a cold body.
Rest In Peace, James ”Bobo” Michael Fauteux. June 27, 2003 - December 22, 2014
You've been on my mind a lot tonight as I work.
Categories:
goofball, absence, brother, cancer, death,
Form:
Free verse
People stero type him with names like,
moron, goofball, idiot, and crazy
They never realize that he is not slow
and his mind is far from lazy
Complicated, is more the way I see it
He has a million ideas to process,
Somewhere in the vastness of his mind,
thoughts become a disconnected mess
Most of the time his thinking is rational
During the presentation it will shatter
the thought process causes confusion
he can't comprehend what is the matter
People laugh, poke fun, distance themselves
They think he's always in a daze
Medication subdues him, doesn't change him,
it creates a certain protective haze
In this era I find it strange that,
people shy away from his affliction
It seems like they would much rather,
be around someone with a drug addiction
It's always been a controversial issue
At one time it was considered fine,
to do a lobotomy on a human brain,
as a means to control, customize, refine
How sad it is to be different,
when cruelty rears it's ugly head
He lives in a world he doesn't understand
So hard to interpret, what is being said
The "voices", keep him company,
when the world shuts him out
He's happy just to be himself,
that's all he has left to care about
If someday you meet him
remember to please be kind
He may be different from the norm
but to God, he has a beautiful mind
Categories:
goofball, confusionworld, time, drug,
Form:
Rhyme
Lying down while the music uplifts my soul
Holding up my interminable silence with a fist in the air of despair
I kiss your cheeks and it brings back reminiscences
Of me, myself and I, swinging back and forth on the swings
(chorus): Rock me out! Rock me out! Rock me OUT!
I try to make out your…
Sundrenched lullabies that ring true to me without a doubt…
Change is a challenging chore…
Here’s 7 things I like about you:
Your body
Your face
Your eyes
Your teeth
Your hands
Your lips
Your hips
You’re my everything!!!
I shake my booty from the floor to the roof...dancing and all!
I act like a Michael Jackson on the dance floor...I'm such a goofball!
The therapeutic music is dying out and I hear the typing
Bold to the core, hoping to see you – the one I truly adore
I love you more and more and I want no one else, but you
I don’t see my reflection anymore, but I’m alright in the long run
My heart will soar on cloud 7…
Cloud 7…
Cloud 7…
With you…
Without you,
I feel numb and insecure…
You are my one and only cure…
(chorus)
I fell in love with a stranger…
I fell in love with a passerby…
My anger will put me in danger soon,
But you distracted me from acting like a crazy baboon
The moon is shining bright
The sun is dimming tonight
Under the moonlight, I see you sway
I hear you say…I hear you say:
“You are my number 7…
You complete me.”
(chorus)
I let you go suddenly
Whisper your lullaby, dear
Oh darling, be 7 with me
I see your halo appear
Holding up my interminable silence with a fist in the air of bliss that you and I share…I glance at you as you flare…I daydream and stare into your universe eyes…turn up the music that’s so therapeutic just a hair
I kiss your cheeks and it brings back reminiscences
Of you and I, swinging back and forth on the swings…
Categories:
goofball, beauty, desire, freedom, girl,
Form:
Lyric