Best Gastric Poems

Lurking in fuzzy leftovers is seen
A quivering, crawling hairball of green
A florescent prune
Or cheese from the moon
Gurgles gastric, plastic alien spleen

The miser squire requires gluts of caffeine
To dissect this science project's gangrene
Harpoon on a spoon
Zoom to the saloon
Lunch ladies' supreme mystery cuisine.

3/15/19

For Green Humor contest
Sponsor:...

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A Tribute to Jan Allison, I miss her on PS!


There's a sweet woman I know as Jan,
a valued member of the soup clan.
Her limericks are the best,
Poop humor above the rest!
Her long absence has been a sad span.

 By Tania Kitchin


Jan's bathroom humor could fill...

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Rancid lemon rope squeeze
around a rotten tomato neck tie,
crooked odor bow hanging out of place 
Acid reflux raisin tax bleed;
dripping spoiled, milquetoast lies
out a sour-twisted, prune puckered face

Tart tongue 
sulfur speak disorderly,
dirty saliva fingers in the propaganda pie
Such a bowel movement disgrace
Bottom rung
bung opening vault...

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Purple leather turtles
Smoking hippy rats
Gastric glands
Secrete Orange Juices
Leave my stomach
Swim in land.
Cauliflower hairy clouds
Pouring purple rain,
Heavy inches  
 Salt dry water
Sad the clown 
Drowns again.
Mushroom confusion
Stop long haired ants,
Angry bitten leaves curse
Paparazzi popping plants.
Slow feline drivers
Married canine sky divers,
Jump outside
Hot left shoe.
Cell phone starts...

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Modern Vanity

tracks
weaves
hair color
fingernails
manicures
pedicures
inflated buttocks and lips
sculptured hips
workout
aerobic
liftup
tuckin
sixpacks
jog
rotate
walk
perspire
maintain
get that body
night masks
contour sticks
Facetime
Facebook
facelift
Instagram
Twitter
tummy tucks
lap bands
gastric by-pass
designer clothes
sports cars
convertibles
Teslas
toupees
tattoos
Men’s Club
blue pills
anything else?

7/18/17

Facebook and Twitter are creating a vain generation of self-obsessed people with child-like need for feedback, warns top scientist....

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when he spoke
words broke like glass between his teeth
14 minutes past 8PM 7 weeks after the red river
in his brain ran almost dry
he the acidic and sullen shadow of his youth
turned to me
(one side of his face a landslide of flesh
frozen into freefall 
thus i...

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Under the depths below the deep 
     of this Atlantic Ocean,
live the lobsters that crawl and creep
     with an articulated motion.

They thrive on the ocean’s sea floor,
     from the sloping shoreline
to beyond the...

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I never overcame your departure brothers
since then
my feet walk crippled
the kidney only filters half of the residues
my heart partially collapsed
and beats insufficiently
the gastric juice became acid
and corrodes the sweetness of dreams
the bronchial airways are carbonized
and emit a roaring echo
the neurons lost
innumerable synapses
when dying necrotic
but here...

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Moon flower

You lay on white cotton sheets with the hospital logo imprinted
on the cloth and on the fabric of your life talcum powder for
your bed sores anorexic washed out gastric spittle dribbling
from ulcerous mouth facing what had to come no more shine
no radiant beauty just...

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Leftovers galore
Just means less trips to the store
Gastric overload...

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So many irksome dilemmas in life can be cured by simple solutions.
All are not necessarily fixed by the latest technological revolutions.
To remedy the many vicissitudes that rain down upon myself,
I grab that handy box of lowly baking soda reposing upon the shelf!

This simple, innocent looking...

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All aboard the conductor roared
Gripping the puce spruced rolling caboose
At starboard some people snored
While shaking loose foul gastric juice
But to port was a snort
From a piebald plump pig doing a jig
Only to thwart a one legged dwarf
From kissing a prig with a long twisty wig
In...

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Consultation Room


Our organs we disdain
Until we have some pain
Then begin to learn
Let organs respect earn!

There’s this red “bean”
Fond of giving a spleen
Pith can suffer “cones”
They call kidney stones.

Maligned cirrhotic livers
Afflict with painful fevers
You may relish one of sheep
Yours gives scant sleep!

“You’ve got a Big Heart.”
Then...

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A racist white man’s vehicle broke down
in the middle
of the blackest pride side of Motown

He scratched his red neck double chin 
in Appalachian drawl dismay;
perplexed at having a little Aryan problem
of not being “Black Tie Members” insurance covered,
to get his big, blanco Hemi pickup 
towed...

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Cats are containers of
colorful personality.
A blue cat sits alone
looking at the floor before him.
His mind blank as,
a new sketchbook;
waiting for the artist within to,
paint him into a clown.

Red cats rage against life’s storms
and invaders in their yard.
Birds, squirrels and mice fear 
the wrath of a...

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