Woozy and Floozy

All aboard the conductor roared Gripping the puce spruced rolling caboose At starboard some people snored While shaking loose foul gastric juice But to port was a snort From a piebald plump pig doing a jig Only to thwart a one legged dwarf From kissing a prig with a long twisty wig In the middle was a fiddle At the bar a guitar And little by little A freight car cigar Was smoked by a Pope Who drank sixty short whiskeys And licked soap on a rope Got tipsy and frisky Swooned in the saloon With a woozy auld floozy Playing a tune to the moon That was groovy and bluesy