Best Gassy Poems

Stuck with gas, no antacid had Santa
as he flew Christmas Eve near Atlanta.
When Santa Claus farted,
the reindeer all darted.
And poor Santa cried out, "Oh, Mylanta!”

...

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The mean old housecat has bulgy eyes
when she looks at us in our fish bowl
Oh, how much we've come to despise
that big mouth of hers,...

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Limricks prompted by a comment made by someone today

It's a fact, and no longer just a rumor
Some soup people barf at toilet humor
Have you sniffed...

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From 2010. Narrator is Robert Gibbs, snooty White House Press Secretary.

Lay, O Lord, a curse on press men, rude and churlish, sad, obsessed men 
Who...

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On the first day of Christmas Ziggy gave to me 
a wet nose on my cheek

On the second day of Christmas Ziggy gave to me
Two...

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Small and mighty,little and proud
One of the weeniest doggies around
but don't let size fool you, you're in for a treat
I am one of the bravest...

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For sixteen years my best friend was my dog, 
a tad bit gassy and quite the bed hog.
Side by side, was everywhere we would go,
my...

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Visual 1

Earth does ballet to stay in shape
dancing before the rubbernecking moon
that chases us around the sun
making waves in oceans like our emotions
  ...

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What the Butler Heard
Extract from a memoir

Lord Illustrious Penge of Lampwicker Hall,
Welcomed local Toffs, to his Name-Dropper ball.
Noses upturned with a touch of conceit,
Hob-Knobbing with...

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PLUTO

The name conjures up a lot
Dopey Disney dog extra to the plot
Forgotten one-time planet of the night
Not a Jupiter giant, gassy bright,
I’m just a small...

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Are you listening? Open your ears
For this is to be read aloud it needs your voice 
Because it can not speak on its own...
This is...

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I ate the shank of the turnips what a wonderful food
Dipped the cornbread into the pot liquor
Then shawshanked out of the room..  

My mother-in-law...

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Human Sack Gruff Ice Agonizingly Glommed...
Murderously Skewered, And Torturously Zapped

Directv linkedin to accentuate
piddly money crisis, tis zen uneasy fate,
I imagine dragons gyrate
ting, and licking chops,...

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Dream To Real
Kiara Lebel

Inhale the gassy air
Running through your lungs
Hearing the mystery tunes

Running through your lungs
Toxic gases taking over your body
Wanting to know when the...

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The mean old housecat has bulgy eyes
when she looks at us in our fish bowl
Oh, how much we've come to despise
that big mouth of hers,...

Read more of this work...