Best Funnywine Poems
A billionaire, he knew each wine by name
Todd Worthington of inheritance fame
Blindfolded he taste-tested
Fans watched so interested
Until a street boozer put him to shame
Fred stumbled in, challenged Todd to a race
Though Fred was not skilled in fine social grace
Drank Todd under the table
Todd out cold, Fred was able
To acquire high society’s embrace
Written June 18, 2011
for Francine’s “Bottle of Wine (Fruit of the vine, when...” contest”
I went to the bathroom it's true.
Got rid of the wine in the loo.
The wine made me wee.
Which splashed out on me.
But at least it wasn't doo doo!!!
Written 6/23/11 for Francine Robert's "Bottle of Wine" contest
The process of making fine wine
Starts with the ripe grape on the vine
The wine maker plays
For long endless days
Trying for a product sublime
Now wine can be bought in a jug
Or a box with a plastic plug
Just weeks to table
But it's still able
To quickly put ass on the rug
6/20/ll
The Bottle of Wine contest
Your homemade wine tastes pleasantly neat,
An aromatic, crisp, nutty treat,
But we agree among us,
It tastes a bit like fungus,
Tell us. Why do you have purple feet?
Why? Does my wine leave fuzz on your tongue?
Make it part of it's praises you've sung.
Oh please Comitia, hush!.
stop yelling for your tooth brush,
A little fungus will keep you young.
Inspired and written 6/21/11 by Francine Roberts'
"Bottle of Wine (fruit of the vine)" contest.