Best Funnygrandmother Poems
January & February this year,
prescription lenses lost. I count
the cost (it cost me dear).
A place for everything
and everything in its place,
my grandmother said,
but I only know
where my glasses are
when they're on my face.
There’s taxes on underwear, dresses and ties,
and taxes on ointments your grandmother buys.
There’s taxes on food at your local D.Q.
and taxes on food even good for you too!
You’re taxed on most services; and you are taxed
if you get your most private areas waxed.
You’re taxed every year (it should be a crime)
on the same house and car that you bought just one time!
The plan for which all your work’s taxes went in,
when finally used, you’ll be taxed for again!
You’re taxed more for smoking! You’re taxed if you fly.
Your loved ones get taxed on your stuff when you die!
Rich brats have their loopholes and still get ahead.
But most of us won’t find relief till we’re dead.
Inspired by Carolyn Devonshire's "Taxing Times" Contest
I look in the mirror and it's amazing to see
A young girl no longer now grandmother of three
The image reflected often gives me a start
At my age I have to watch out for my heart
I've covered the mirrors, I no longer stare
At the wrinkled old woman I always see there
In the blink of an eye and a few years or so
I wonder what happened to my skin's healthy glow
All those glorious beach days have taken their toll
And my once hardened tummy is beginning to roll
The hair I once teased in my best sixties style
Is wispy and graying and falls out on the tile
I sleep more, I eat more, I don't stay up late
Aging eventually is everyone's fate
But adding up years is the best we can do
Be happy its happening to me and not you
We all must grow older, a true fact of living
Savor each moment with kindness and giving
One day you'll look into a mirror like Snow White
And who's looking back might just give you a fright
The Examples We Set!
“Grandma”, the young boy spoke.
His face was serious.
He was telling no joke.
Grandma was curious.
“What is it, my grandson?”
He points to one finger.
“See that finger Grandma.”
Yes.” She replied looking.
“That’s a bad finger…bad!”
He exclaimed pointing to
His little middle finger,
Continuing he said,
“When I grow up I am
Going to use that finger.
“That wouldn’t be very nice.”
His grandmother remarked.
“You are too nice to use
That finger…”
“Well, he continued,
“My dad uses it and
I’m going use it too,
When I grow up.”
© Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
March 19, 2010
Poetic form: Free Verse