Best Flatus Poems

I accidentally let one loose
one you hope no one had noticed 
so guilty, face like a red spruce 
acting like I hadn't the remotest,

It was...

Read more of this work...

I've grown a bit slower, I've grown a bit fatter,
  my mission each hour: relieving my bladder.
When I was a youngster, I had no...

Read more of this work...

Some numpty bad mouthed my soup style
I’ve taken a break for a while
But I won't be deterred
From writing about turd
And subjects some others deem vile

I’m...

Read more of this work...

Old Tom Sawyer went into St Bart’s
He said “Doc I am dropping huge farts”
The doc got a large trowel
To examine Tom’s bowel
As Tom’s flatus was...

Read more of this work...

Retched scent en fuego
Wet bac-te-ria infested
Flatus monkey poop...

Read more of this work...

two birds flying for fortnight
together flew down to settle
resting in branches of periwinkle
standing, gasping with freedom of flatus
then smell the sweet scents
of the princess flower...

Read more of this work...

Flatulent Franco from France frequently farts
Fetid foul fetor fumes fill French foyers
Francophile females feign fainting
Fanning flatus from frowning faces!

Alliteration Contest
Sponsored by Barry Stebbings 

11-27-17...

Read more of this work...

Polar bears, spotted owls and honey bees 
Care nothing of scientific debates
Over flatus of cattle and SUV’s.

Some drop big oil drills and some drop big...

Read more of this work...

Based on BBC news article "Fart in parliament: Row blows up in Canada"
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-38037187


Should our leaders discuss debt?
Under which we toil and sweat
How to tax us?...

Read more of this work...

Stressed?

Another story hot off the press
Should you want to lower stress
Johns Hopskins research found a link
That somehow soon may raise a stink
Hydrogen Sulfide found in...

Read more of this work...

He’d eaten baked beans for his brunch
Then onion rings he did munch
He built up so much gas
Which he then had to pass
The odour it sure...

Read more of this work...

Tyrannosaurus have come to bore us
till the next Jurassic Park movie’s nigh
Archaeopteryx’s feathers look more like sticks
who believes this lizard could fly?

Triceratops were dutiful pops
still...

Read more of this work...

In regnis verborum, ubi somnia avolant,
Versum componam virtute purissima.
Calamo in manu, cor meum flagrat,
Narrabo fabulam, notissimam unquam.

Super tabula caelesti gratiae,
Colores amplexus amoris exprimam.
A primo mane...

Read more of this work...

Cloud


What can we say about a cloud 
to say it is gloomy is patently wrong
you can say it is white, grey or black (dark)
but a...

Read more of this work...

The Ohio wipes its face every few miles.
This bend in the river
forgets the wharfs, the gravel silos
and power plants,
only occasional coal barges 
push an industrial...

Read more of this work...