Best Fatso Poems
They said how she ate was absurd;
A "Fatso", they called her she heard,
And ever since then
That poor, baby wren
Just pecked at her food like a bird.
8.31.18
Contest: Any Animal or Creature Limerick
Categories:
fatso, bird, food, funny,
Form:
Limerick
Brainwashing
Brainwashing is a flowing,
right there on your TV,
Oh they sell life insurance to 20 year old’s,
or guys like you an me,
Brainwashing sure is flowing,
and the lies won’t let you be,
And they call it advertising.,
money flows, so merrily..
Yes the old time Liberals,
Used scare tactics well,
Commies under the bed ,
Would get you, they would tell,
Voters were frightened with the lie,
So they voted for the master,
Wages dropping bye n by,
Cheap labor they are after.
don’t kid yourself, that it isn’t so,
last federal Liberal government,
forced down the wages - workers know,
overseas workers is the lever-meant,
the super-rich employ,
morality in the dunny,
and fatso jumps 4 joy.,
ho-hum
dum-dum
Leroy
Don Johnson
Categories:
fatso, adventure,
Form:
Ballad
I am small
and gaining WEIGHT
from the chips that I had ATE
Just around the BEND(I can barely do that,FRIEND)
Gut around the MIDDLE while my nephew tells a RIDDLE
Exploding sudden GAS ,it came from my rotund ASS
Chicks no longer LOOK at this unsightly SCHNOOK
as I eat my TWINKIE,the underoos are getting STINKY
What do men and women FEAR-besides an enema to the REAR?
unbearable stomach SIZE of a fatso that we DESPISE
Mother wants to give son TREAT by buying hamburger,Burger King SWEET
Dom Deluise has shown me the WAY to get more pound and flab
by expanding every DAY
Spaghetti and a MEATBALL to placate hunger and it's tasty CALL
Love handles is a feeling WHICH..
I quite fear,
life can be an unfair -ITCH!!
Categories:
fatso, funny,
Form:
Limerick
Green Hops.
Green grasshopper on the shamrock,
Lands on lumpy lady fatty's frock,
Rollicking on Patrick's day,
Whole night she had planned to stay,
Stumbled badly in a squeaky shock.
Hubzy fumbled laughter in the hall,
Mini hopper dared to take a brawl,
Down lay fatso red in rage,
Hubby pretends not to gaze,
Bravo to the nymph,she got nature's call.
Contest:Anything green.
Sponsor:SKAT A.
4 April 2016
Categories:
fatso, fun, giggle, humor,
Form:
Limerick
In November I'll keep a low profile
Humans kill my kind so I must use guile
If I gobble to a mate
I'll be on a dinner plate
I detest living this muted lifestyle
I am a North American Wild Turkey
Thanksgiving Day is freaky and quirky
Try some cock-a-doodle-doo
Put chicken on your menu
My meat is too lean to make good jerky
Last year I lost my buddy, Fatso Fred
Saw tail feathers fly and knew he was dead
Chosen cuz he was plump
Got whacked on a tree stump
Had his stomach stuffed with yellow cornbread
In a few months I'll have to be wary
Being a turkey is very scary
With thanks I'll be toasted
But fear I'll be roasted
Served with yams and a side of cranberry
I am a bird - Personification
Tania Kitchin - Sponsor
Date Posted - July 22, 2020
Categories:
fatso, thanksgiving, tribute,
Form:
Personification
The Traffic Stop
By Elton Camp
Dewey was late in his doughnut truck
While speeding, why what the luck
He saw the flashing of a blue light
And a siren—such a scary sight
Dewey pulled to the shoulder to wait
Up walked a cop of prodigious weight
He was four hundred pounds at least
So that he looked more like a beast
The obese officer took the driver to task
“Know why I stopped you?” he did ask
Dewey knew the thing he should say
However, that wasn’t gonna be today
“Why yes, I’m sure that I know.
Have some doughnuts, fatso.”
A costly lesson Dewey learned that day
The witty thing isn’t always best to say
Categories:
fatso, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
FATSO
We all look in the mirror just don't bend over
It's the over the shoulder boulder holder
Richard Simmons screams put down that cup of coffee
Then sit in traffic while eating your bag of toffee
Sweet delights down at the public zoo for you
I don't want her you can have her she's to fat for me
We pay alms for the sneakers yet can't pull up our zipper
We can't even cope as we have a fight with the soap on the rope
Getting on the treadmill down at the gym
Eating fruits with vegetables a good way to begin
Yet we pour sugar down our throats with dunkin donuts & such
Everyone keeps starring yet care less what your wearing
It makes me want to throw up in my mouth then to ***** & pout
Yet still were given a choice to stay thin or sing the blues
Still don't try to judge me until you walk in my shoes
The FATSO has feelings yet let's a lot of things go
Wait until the day they get skinny for you have every right to know
Categories:
fatso, bangla, beach, beautiful, beauty,
Form:
Free verse
Integrity
I suppose you think it’s all worthwhile,
To crawl to the rich, if that’s your style,
To swing your vote, left, right and center,
On a whim, just hit enter.
Just a touch of bile, don’t bleat.
If you were truly honest, within yourself,
You’d help the poor, not someone else,
Rich people, force the wages cheap,
Treat the workers like half- mulesed sheep,
Any excuse is allowed:)
Overseas shearers, shore the masters sheep,
In the 50s scabs, sure, about did creep,
Undercut the workers wage,
Sweat of the brow, ten bob was saved,
Made the wives of shearers weep.
Of miners bringing in the labor cheap,
A dollar saved, fatso can keep,
Are scabs a coming from offshore,
Yes buddy thousands more,
Don’t be chuckling in your sleep
Morality is gone this political day,
Integrity is dead in Canberra hey,
Fake emails to bring down the government,
9 times has Thompson been tried and left,
Or is he still not guilty,
Yet…..
Don Johnson
Categories:
fatso, adventure, integrity,
Form:
Ballad
Fatso
Greedy fatso, super rich,
Fat miners and some lunatics,
Tumor on brain seems to be,
Another treasure a certainty,
Are you following this pitch,
He he…
Imported workers, paid $1000 less,
A week for their distress,
To take the wage of Aussies sweet,
Like scabs of old, low moral feat,
The blackballed certainly,
Computer has the name of thee,
Aussie workers, to delete!
Only a thousand dollars a week,
From each wage the boss can keep,
Does it stick in the Aussie workers craw,
Scab labor brought in from offshore,
Or will they cop it sweet,
Haw haw…..
Categories:
fatso, adventure,
Form:
Ballad
Private Slocum Gets a Scare
By Elton Camp
It was the day of the big parade.
Private Slocum felt he had it made.
He had an easy job that seemed cool.
Answer the phone at the motor pool.
It was most likely nobody would call.
Slocum could miss the pomp and all.
But suddenly the telephone ran out.
So he had to see what it was about.
The voice on the phone did say:
“Send over a limousine right away.
And I will not accept a bit of delay.
It is needed for the parade today.”
The voice seemed a bit familiar to him.
He decided that it must be his pal Jim.
The private his head began to wag.
Smiling, he went along with the gag.
“Is it for some of the top brass?
Maybe a general with a fat ass?”
The caller’s voice became icy cold.
So, Slocum wished he done as told.
“I do not like that worth a damn.
Clearly, you don’t know who I am.
Soldier, this General Jones speaking.”
With outrage the officer was reeking.
“Sir, it’s true I didn’t know your rank.
I thought the call might just be a prank.
But I now will ask you just the same.
To you happen to know my name?”
No, I do not and I do not care.
To insult me how do you dare?
Sir, you have just relieved my woe.
I’ll just say to you, “Goodbye fatso.”
Categories:
fatso, funnyvoice, voice,
Form:
Rhyme
When Santa Claus came down my chimney, I thought he was a robber.
I grabbed my baseball bat and old Saint Nick got clobbered.
Santa had some compound fractures and he kept saying ouch.
I made his deliveries while he laid on my couch.
I climbed on my roof and got in his sled.
When I told the reindeers to fly, Prancer kicked me in the head.
I delivered the presents all around the world.
Because of me, there were a lot of happy boys and girls.
The next year I asked Santa for a new bowling ball because I love to bowl.
But when I checked my stocking, I saw that the fatso gave me a block of coal.
Categories:
fatso, funny, holiday, on writing
Form:
So That’s What It’s Called
By Elton Camp
The English language continues to grow
Now there’s one for when pants overflow
“Muffin top” has become a new addition
To describe a most deplorable condition
Really, I never could understand the way
Folks put their middle on public display
The young and trim can do it if they must
In the case of a fatso, it only bring disgust
Someone will say, “Just ignore that sight,”
But, to me, it’s like seeing a wreck or fight
From the gory it’s hard our eyes to divert
And it’s just the same for a too-short shirt
Categories:
fatso, funny
Form:
Rhyme
It was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Santa stole all of my stuff and he ran off with my spouse.
That fatso stole everything that I had.
I was shocked because Santa went bad.
All that he gave me for Christmas was the finger and some coal.
I decided to get even this morning when I went to the North Pole.
I gave his reindeers liquor and got them drunk.
When Santa started flying, his ship was sunk.
His reindeers crashed and Santa has a lot of broken bones.
And to add insult to injury, I pelted the punk with stones.
Now Santa is in the hospital in a body cast.
I got even for what he did one year in the past.
Categories:
fatso, christmas, holiday, humor, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
It is never fun to be the new kid.
If you are exude too much fun, you are labelled weird.
If you get excited and loud, the others say you are “pushy”.
You dress differently? You are strange, not to be trusted.
Children shun new kids, because they already have their friends.
My granddaughter is five. She was the new kid this summer at camp.
One child asked her when her baby is due, another one called her fatso.
She came home and burst into tears, never wanting to go back.
She did not tell the teenage camp counselors, because she was too embarrassed.
As they were sneaking, I realized these five-year-olds knew it was not nice.
They wanted to make her sad.
I am guessing these children have been victims.
They have at least been within listening range of bigger bullies.
Five- year-olds have to be taught this kind of meanness.
Fat and hate are two of the three meanest words to teach your children.
I am sure I do not have to mention the other one.
Be careful.
Your children are listening.
Categories:
fatso, abuse, feelings, racism,
Form:
Free verse
Eighty-five today only fifteen to go
Told Mom when I reach 100 I'd put on a show
Dance a ballet
In tights so sexy
Exciting young fillies watching Sir Fatso
Categories:
fatso, celebration,
Form:
Limerick