Private Slocum Gets a Scare

Private Slocum Gets a Scare By Elton Camp It was the day of the big parade. Private Slocum felt he had it made. He had an easy job that seemed cool. Answer the phone at the motor pool. It was most likely nobody would call. Slocum could miss the pomp and all. But suddenly the telephone ran out. So he had to see what it was about. The voice on the phone did say: “Send over a limousine right away. And I will not accept a bit of delay. It is needed for the parade today.” The voice seemed a bit familiar to him. He decided that it must be his pal Jim. The private his head began to wag. Smiling, he went along with the gag. “Is it for some of the top brass? Maybe a general with a fat ass?” The caller’s voice became icy cold. So, Slocum wished he done as told. “I do not like that worth a damn. Clearly, you don’t know who I am. Soldier, this General Jones speaking.” With outrage the officer was reeking. “Sir, it’s true I didn’t know your rank. I thought the call might just be a prank. But I now will ask you just the same. To you happen to know my name?” No, I do not and I do not care. To insult me how do you dare? Sir, you have just relieved my woe. I’ll just say to you, “Goodbye fatso.”