Best Fat Chance Poems

Pay no mind to man behind the curtain.
You've learned the superficial but his depths are still uncertain.

You tried to plot his course and see that...

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For flowery words I have no gift
deep thoughts I'm rarely thinking
And when it comes to penmanship
my dear I fear I'm stinking
But none the less amid...

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He hasn't said ten words to me -
for say, two hours and one long half.
I might as well be absentee
except for an off-handed laugh.

He takes...

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a villanelle


Who has fallen in love with the couch?
Who remembers the days of sweet romance?
Maybe Miss Piggy and Oscar the Grouch.

Hub spends much time napping,...

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THE MORNING WAS PLEASANT, THE WEATHER WAS FINE,
BREAKFAST OUT OF THE WAY, FISHING WAS ON MY MIND.
I’D WAITED ALL WEEK, BUT IT HAD FINALLY ARRIVED,
GOING...

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Tribulation Ventication: This selection will be completed in part's. So be patient as I will be running out of space and having to continue and...

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It was the best cherry-cola that I ever had. 
It’s the aftertaste now that’s incredibly bad. 
It was 1953, at the corner Five and Dime....

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flowing-pen
        writer of poetry
             ...

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Tea in the afternoon with his wife of many years is usually peaceful, Hubert thinks before he makes his announcement. Then he says it. 

"I'm...

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We're having friends for dinner on Saturday
Well we're not actually having them for dinner!
That statement implies that we're cannibalistic
And our list of friends would get...

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An ad campaign for many years
To sell Dos Equis beer
Employed a pitchman, who has now
Appeared to disappear.

They called him “The most interesting
Man in all the...

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Murk Rammer froze as he felt the nuzzle
of a snub-nosed thirty-eight’s deadly muzzle.
Louis The Retch poked it into his back.
“The jig’s up, Rammer. I ain’t...

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Tis quite a beast of burden to bear atlas (shrug off not allowed)
Atlas shrugged an impossibility
tantamount to skinny dipping in the lock nest lagoon

Tantamount to...

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One of your relatives sprouted behind my house
Cut it down twice...fat chance
Ended up damaging my half paid for home
I wanted revenge, so I resorted to...

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Hillary, dear Hillary—where do we begin?
In your tale of deceit and corrupt political spin.
First lady, poor victim—
‘Vast Right Wing’ to blame,
A Chicago born, carpet bagging,...

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We're having friends for dinner on Saturday
Well we're not actually having them for dinner!
That statement implies that we're cannibalistic
And our list of friends would get...

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sweet young lady, 
love does grip,
will she look at me, 
decrepid, 
fat chance charlie,
could be i've slipped:)
cos i'm a spotless Leopard,
methinks, 
brain grips,
whatever...

Don...

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(alternately titled “How art thou dear reader?”)

(Inexplicably triggers domino effect
and doth indirect
lee send favorable
     ripples vibrantly unchecked.)
vagaries of an uncertain
 ...

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This white rabbit is having a hell of a day.
It started out good but ended in a bad way.

I woke up feeling marvelous and grand,
dressed...

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MRS.    COLUMBUS     SPEAKS

“Hi,  honey  pie.....  just got back  from  America.”
Wipe your feet. ...

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IF YOU PULL A LONG FACE : Part XVIII

IF you pull a long dopey face
The least one can in this case say
You don't belong to...

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(tongue in cheek
by this moldering geek.)

Thy marriage doth incurably ail,
even strangers would vouchsafe
     (with nary any cavil),
    ...

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The Underchook

no escape for the momma chile,
of cuddles no directions,
but you bring a healthy smile,
no seduction no erection ....ooops

the mind of foolish Doves ,
expound the...

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in the language of personal amplification
you'd think it was all a scam
to make you drop your guard
and play patty cakes with Evil
job 3 was to...

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Have you ever found your mind
drifting into that dark place
that secret and dense absence of light
look into the mirror and say
"There is beauty in destruction"
running...

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