Best Fat Chance Poems

For flowery words I have no gift
deep thoughts I'm rarely thinking
And when it comes to penmanship
my dear I fear I'm stinking
But none the less amid...

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Pay no mind to man behind the curtain.
You've learned the superficial but his depths are still uncertain.

You tried to plot his course and see that...

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a villanelle


Who has fallen in love with the couch?
Who remembers the days of sweet romance?
Maybe Miss Piggy and Oscar the Grouch.

Hub spends much time napping,...

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He hasn't said ten words to me -
for say, two hours and one long half.
I might as well be absentee
except for an off-handed laugh.

He takes...

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THE MORNING WAS PLEASANT, THE WEATHER WAS FINE,
BREAKFAST OUT OF THE WAY, FISHING WAS ON MY MIND.
I’D WAITED ALL WEEK, BUT IT HAD FINALLY ARRIVED,
GOING...

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Tribulation Ventication: This selection will be completed in part's. So be patient as I will be running out of space and having to continue and...

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Tea in the afternoon with his wife of many years is usually peaceful, Hubert thinks before he makes his announcement. Then he says it. 

"I'm...

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It was the best cherry-cola that I ever had. 
It’s the aftertaste now that’s incredibly bad. 
It was 1953, at the corner Five and Dime....

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We're having friends for dinner on Saturday
Well we're not actually having them for dinner!
That statement implies that we're cannibalistic
And our list of friends would get...

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flowing-pen
        writer of poetry
             ...

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Tis quite a beast of burden to bear atlas (shrug off not allowed)
Atlas shrugged an impossibility
tantamount to skinny dipping in the lock nest lagoon

Tantamount to...

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Hillary, dear Hillary—where do we begin?
In your tale of deceit and corrupt political spin.
First lady, poor victim—
‘Vast Right Wing’ to blame,
A Chicago born, carpet bagging,...

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An ad campaign for many years
To sell Dos Equis beer
Employed a pitchman, who has now
Appeared to disappear.

They called him “The most interesting
Man in all the...

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Murk Rammer froze as he felt the nuzzle
of a snub-nosed thirty-eight’s deadly muzzle.
Louis The Retch poked it into his back.
“The jig’s up, Rammer. I ain’t...

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IF YOU PULL A LONG FACE : Part XVIII

IF you pull a long dopey face
The least one can in this case say
You don't belong to...

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This white rabbit is having a hell of a day.
It started out good but ended in a bad way.

I woke up feeling marvelous and grand,
dressed...

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We're having friends for dinner on Saturday
Well we're not actually having them for dinner!
That statement implies that we're cannibalistic
And our list of friends would get...

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(alternately titled “How art thou dear reader?”)

(Inexplicably triggers domino effect
and doth indirect
lee send favorable
     ripples vibrantly unchecked.)
vagaries of an uncertain
 ...

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One of your relatives sprouted behind my house
Cut it down twice...fat chance
Ended up damaging my half paid for home
I wanted revenge, so I resorted to...

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(tongue in cheek
by this moldering geek.)

Thy marriage doth incurably ail,
even strangers would vouchsafe
     (with nary any cavil),
    ...

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The sow beauty queen’s 
favorite color is money green
The cloven jaw cutie’s
favorite sound is “cha-ching”

Miss Piggy Lips loves how the cash registers
throughout the land constantly...

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sweet young lady, 
love does grip,
will she look at me, 
decrepid, 
fat chance charlie,
could be i've slipped:)
cos i'm a spotless Leopard,
methinks, 
brain grips,
whatever...

Don...

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UNQUOTABLE QUOTES: XLIV

Don’t translate poems if you want yours read.
A pain in the ass is a pain nevertheless.
A « race" in any other language is...

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MRS.    COLUMBUS     SPEAKS

“Hi,  honey  pie.....  just got back  from  America.”
Wipe your feet. ...

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in the language of personal amplification
you'd think it was all a scam
to make you drop your guard
and play patty cakes with Evil
job 3 was to...

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