Best Eh Poems

body builders have an ab-sense
girdles are just an abs-tractions
to communicate is to accomplish-'meant'
to know your limits means know-'ledge'
too much wine means too absorb-'bent'
a purebred can be a cat-as-'trophey'
being elected does not come with a flag'grant'
women's gossip is gal-'lore'
a thinker is as an idea-'list'
a divorcee can...

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WE ARE CANADIAN, EH?

We came across the Bering Strait twelve thousand years ago. 
We didn't linger long up there – 'twas 99 below!
We wandered south while looking for a Timmy's 'round each bend,
Just something in our DNA - we are  Canadian!

We are our Founding...

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Eh, pal what are your chances of winning?
Ah, you could have banked all this saving
for an early retirement...
to cherish that sentiment!
When you're completely broke, start cringing!...

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Nutritionist, diabetes or 
dietician
All to be unheeded in my 
sweet tooth's opinion.

For how can I abandon
That chocolate canyon?

And same goes for yummy 
chocolate fudge
Eh to a trifle could I bear 
any grudge?

Ah treacle or caramel pudding
And apple crumble needs no 
bidding

The craving wishes to devour...

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The pressure is on, can't let a day go by

Without writing a poem... that would be unthinkable

The Poetry Police would be breaking down my door

And exacting severe punishment

Us poet guys are committed (or should be! LOL)

A bit of humour there...

Even on those days when it...

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I can't stop them, the words just keep flying out

As if someone else is controlling my fingers

And I just feverishly write them down and obey their commands

Spooky eh!

Am I destined for the funny farm or does this happen to others

Please say yes!

I don't want to...

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Look to the north and kick up your heels
Come visit the land of polar bears and seals
That's the perception some peeps hath
These folks earn my wrath
We is edumacated and eat ordinary meals


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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At times I walk around in a fairy like state
Is that one of the indigenous forty-eight
Catch myself in time
There's at least forty-nine
Maybe fifty or sixty, hey I'm Canadian eh!...

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"Camptown Races sing this song, Do Dah! Do Dah!"
( sung incessantly by a certain, unique rooster.)

Henry Hawke: ( Sung to Holly Jolly Christmas:)
" I'll be there and back by sunset.
  There's a chicken there for me!
  Mom and Dad will be proud, you...

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Ocean Falls, B.C. has on average
Over 300 days of rain a year
Surely not somewhere I'd want to live
Many attempt suicide I hear

Canadians have a funny habit of
Ending each sentence with an “eh”
Couldn't be a bank robber in the U.S.A.
The “eh” would be a dead giveaway

Average...

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Why is Canada so very special to me
There are ever so many reasons
It's the land of my birth, the place I call home
A country blessed with four seasons

Winter in Canada with it's blanket of snow
Unmatched for beauty and splendour
The cold clean air as we take...

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Hi mum
EH?
how are you ?
WHAT?
are you ok?
EH?
whatsamatter can't you hear me ?
why you shouting ?
EH?
no need to shout
WHAT?
YOU GONE DEAF?
no, I can just hear you
EH?
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
SEE ! you ARE shouting
wait a miniute and I will turn the TV down.


Elizabeth alexander   ...

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I once wore a dress
in an attempt to guess
why women's logics a mess
that causes such distress
falls short to impress
balls help to think best
clearer thought from a hairy chest
more brain from a smaller breast
testicles may help in an IQ test!
©John-Ovan.P.Hull...

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kids are all tested
on reading writing and arithmetic

trade workers are tested
to ensure they know what standards fit

industrial and institution leaders are tested
before they take over to eliminate personal 

why then are presidential candidates not tested
for their humanity and mental abilities as well as their logic

reagan...

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Shall our neighbor to the Great White North
become our fifty-first state? 
To be proudly crowned their eleventh province might prove a better fate
Fresh air, clear lakes and grand vistas not to be beat
Maro-O-largo/Maple Leaf Hotel would make such a grand winter retreat
Call me a Tory...

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