Best Dumpy Poems
“HELLO, MR. PRESIDENT!”
We had all been issued small American flags on sticks.
Jack was on probation, as was I, but we were, reluctantly by Mrs. Mengin, finally
Let into the mix.
“Now boys and girls when the big black car with American flags comes by
We will all stand at attention salute with the right hand wave our flags with the right
And say ‘Hello Mr. President.’”
“HELLO, MR. PRESIDENT!”
“Good!
Let’s rise and form a single line
No talking!
Jack! I’m not going to put up with it!
Stay out of the street folks!”
(what’s this? Hadn’t noticed Hadn’t been listening all morning –
the excited whispering all around)
Sudden shuffle Giggles…………………………………………………
Downstairs Outdoors……………………………………………….
“The President is coming!”
“Down 14th Street!”
“Boys and girls!
Stay back from the curb
Against the fence!
Don’t forget what we all say
Remember to stand straight”
“Do you think he well really come by this dumpy old school?”
“HELLO, MR. PRESIDENT!”
“Shut up, Earl…………..and it aint no joke!”
………………………………………………………………………………….?
“Is he coming Mrs. Mengin? He should oughta be here by now”
“I…………..I can’t see him……..yet………?
I wonder?.............
Oh dear!”
A half-hour passed
The futility of waiting began to be realized
“HELLO, MR. PRESIDENT!” Jack laughs
“That aint him Jack that’s an old lady….HAW HAW!”
“HAW HAW………………………HAW HAW!”
“HELLO, MR. PRESIDENT!.....HAW HAW!
Punishing Jack was put off because of the moment’s frustration
“Alright! Boys and girls let’s go back inside
Hurry!
Back to work!”
Mr. Roosevelt had gone down 17th Street instead
Categories:
dumpy, childhood, old, old,
Form:
Free verse
"I am feeling it." He said.
He meant his age. As I watched
I saw a vision…
Out from the cuttlefish bones of his breast
grime coughed up and dribbled.
I saw his heart stutter, the vapid flutter,
watched his lungs belch and utter
like a broken bladder.
A horseman on a creaking steed
raised its hoary head
and pointed an ancient ladle
speaking thus -
"Stir me belly lad," it said,
"spoon me sticky sump,
dole globs of lymph from here to there.
Me grease is dumpy and lumpy.
Me hip-bones crunch
while me dingle wilts and dangles.
Me ears is gummy lad,
I've gone to the bad.”
The specter faded.
The old guy smiles, rubs his thin hair.
"I also see it sometimes," he says,
"that liver-spotted ghost
that chains me to an even older vision
of you."
Categories:
dumpy, poetry,
Form:
Free verse
Sweet n Dumpy
I’m a bit of a brute when I’m out in me ute,
When the road rage gets me a bit grumpy,
I’m feeling beaut like hairy galoot,
The meat on this Shiela is lumpy,
got me a girl might give her a whirl,
short at one end and quite dumpy,
she always slaps me round the head,
I nibble her ears twice monthly,
I must have me meat ,
Cos me toenails compete,
With me claws and the fangs in me head,
The life blood so sweet,
Fills the void just a treat,
But still, there’s sweet dumpy instead.
Don JohnsonMatt Caliri
Contest Name Wolfman Falls In Love
Categories:
dumpy, adventure, me, me,
Form:
Ballade
My dog named “Hicks”
'The dog that licks the frog he found in the log'
that delightful, disgusting dog that lick the fluffy, hairy frog he found in the marshy, low log
My dog “Hicks
the dear, domestic dog that lick the fancy frog he found in the lovable log
depressed, dazzling the legendary, lumpy dog
the determined, dumpy dog that wants to eat the fantastic, famous frog he found in the loud, lost log
the funny, fat frog he found in the large, long log
the dank, different dog that lick the fake, fine frog he found in the loving, loyal log
the depressing, dark dog that licks the furry, frightening frog he found in the lit, little log “bark” “ribbit-ribbit rip” Swhoop YUM….
11/22/19
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr.
Categories:
dumpy, 5th grade, 6th grade,
Form:
Alliteration
!!!!!!!!!!!
he’s rockin’ cool man from Plain Wreckage
who surfed chat rooms with lewd language
cables flashed girly *****
wifey caught him nude solo
chopped dumpy oldie’s 4-inch sausage!
-----------------------
**uh, oh... no offense to the guys here, lol!
well, that's what women can do
which high-tech cannot do :)
______________
Categories:
dumpy, funny
Form:
Limerick
I KNEW THEY WERE WRONG
I knew they were wrong
In the northern region
When their eyes cried a river
When their feet stumbled the rocky ground
When hands feeble couldn’t carry a spoon
I knew they were wrong
In the dumpy smelly streets
When she dropped the baby from between her legs
The glue sweet on her mouth
Her eyes so red, her mind out of this world
I knew they were wrong
That day long I watched the reports
My ears longed for a positive message
But deaths, wars, hunger and crimes majored their words
Why do they sit in the big house of sweet baked rich cake?
I knew they were wrong
When I saw the big cars
Oh it was election time begging time again
Its been five calendars gone since I last saw them
Today their boots are full, handsome pockets for charity
I’ll say it now, coz tomorrow might never be
We have leant it the hard and easy ways
We know their tricks, like the back of our hands
An A we would all score, on their subjects paper
We know their wrongs, its time they made them right.
Categories:
dumpy, political, poverty, power,
Form:
ABC
She bought a computer
Hooked it up by herself
Thought that she'd find a suitor
Fit for a tudor
She'd heard friends talking
How they entered the game
She felt she knew now
She could do the same
She filled out the description
How she was tall and slim
Job experience on a whim
Lingerie model should please them
Long flowing blonde hair
Pouty lips to boot
Sure this description was a hoot
What else could she say about such a beauty as she
When looking in the room
A different scene we see
Old dumpy woman
Down on her knees
Scrubbing the floors
Baseboards too
Ruffened hands from labor
Would this work at all
Only being truthful
Will get you a date
Even if your life is getting on late
Tell all the qualities that are inside
That is the way to be a bride
(This is not an original idea but comes from an old TV commerical of years ago when
computers first became available for the general public. I need to work on this.)
Categories:
dumpy, funnywork, work,
Form:
I long for the end of perverse MAGA malice
Led by the immoral, they are cold and callous
They have caused such disdain
Since Trump's menacing reign
While he sits inside his Mar A Lago palace
How daft the man to assume he owns everything
Documents and White House dishes he chose to sling
Ketchup thrown against the wall,
Trumpty is ready to fall
Shot down by his arrogance. Ow, how that must sting
He's such a libertine, and wickedly corrupt
When not getting his way, his temper will erupt
But now he's gone too far
According to Bill Barr
But Dumpy Trumpty will never ever fess up
I hope he won't have need to don that damned red tie
An orange suit he may not wear, and I'll decry
He should be an inmate
Enemy of each state
And more loathsome than the insect, we call 'fruit fly'
Some of you make fun of Biden's slips due to age
I prefer that man to an ogre filled with rage
One who defies the law
has a deep-seated flaw...
The Republican elephant on a rampage
Oh say, people, please tell me why you cannot see
how politician's lies have become so beastly
Don't bite Trump's baited hook
Stop believing that crook
He's the cause of conflicts on a family tree
Categories:
dumpy, corruption, political,
Form:
Limerick
I have new boobs, AKA ' belly boobs 'if you will
Diseased ones whacked off, belly fat fill the void
Would really rather have had hemorrhoids
But that wasn't my reality, no triviality
for sure
Got a great deal though
Two for one, cancer gone and tummy tuck
Found the best plastic surgeon by luck
actually he found me
Post op, proud surgeon praised his work
They look amazing, I did a great job
You could wear a bikini with that tummy so tiny
Ahh---no
You would think if you had a belly ache it would be in your boobs
but it's not
You could get stabbed with a pencil or get drawn on with stencils
But at least something is there to give some shape
An absolute TEN I would rate
They're kinda lumpy and bumpy
but help me not look too frumpy or dumpy
in my clothes
No more ultrasounds or thoughts abound
of careless cells placing one in peril
Or biopsies or missed diagnoses
Leading to destruction then autopsy
Disease free--YIPPEE !!
Categories:
dumpy, cancer, emotions,
Form:
Rhyme
Once upon a time in a town named Grumpy Dumpy lived a little princess named Deborah. Now Deborah was the most dumpy grumpy that ever lived in this town and in order to keep this depressed princess happy everyone around her also had to be sad and in the dumps. One day a tall young handsome prince came through the town of Grumpy Dumpy and made a decree. He said that he wanted to meet all the fair maidens and take one for a bride. The only stipulation was that the bride had to be the happiest girl in the city and immediately Deborah knew she was in for a challenge. Deborah hired tutors and more tutors to teach her all about happiness, but she just couldn’t grasp why anyone would want to be anything less than a grump-a-grump. She purchased every book on happiness and even took happy pills. It seemed the harder she tried to learn about happiness the worse her predicament became.
Then one day another person traveled through her town. His name was Thomas the Changer and he offered Princess Deborah a new start. He offered her a new beginning and a clean heart. She took Thomas the Changer up on this offer to give her a royal makeover. She did everything that he asked her to do and she even read his book on eternal happiness to help her get a clue. Within just a few short weeks Princess Deborah was a new creature. She was a new princess and her life was indeed a new life.
What is the moral to this story you might ask? The moral to this quaint little children’s story is that it is a bad idea to live in a grumpy state. You may miss out on the man of your dreams also known as Prince Charming. The other moral to this story is if you are going to turn your life around, you don’t need fancy books, happy pills, or others to get the job done. Go to the expert, Jesus Christ, and he will see you through any obstacle. He is the One True God and he cares for you!
Written by Gwendolen Rix
11-4-14
For Carol Eastman’s contest-Fable to the Rescue
Categories:
dumpy, character, cheer up, christian,
Form:
Prose
So we’re going on a picnic with the pygmy, Pixie Poggly, being the quirky queenly
quaintly quickly person she is and her friend a raunchy rascal reverently named
Andy Bailey. As you remember he was in the Aussie army association, barely
battling the banshee that were bawdy blackly bloody in the boggy boundary briefly
in the outback, and lets not forget pixie’s perky prominent pal that is a bossy,
bluntly, brainy, bookie, breathing brashly, balmy, bits of boogie bookie chatter to
all the cheery, choicely, chunky crowd around his choosey, cheesy, cheaply
choice of chummy spots, and in his coarsely cocky way, he coyly clamors crafty
creepy words that really don’t say what they needs to say, but confuses even the
gentle, ghostly, gaudy, gawky, gabby, gypsy genie down in the gaily, gabby,
ghastly valley town called Gatsby. I hear even Fatty Fannie the fancy, fleecy,
flimsy, flowery, and foxy maiden that has her doggie, “Dotty” watching her dreamy,
dressy, downy, dowry. And to make things easier Pixie’s dumpy daffy deafly, dinky
donkey named Dixie is going to carry all the supplies, and we are going to the
daffy damply dainty little dairy where the daisies grow daily in the deeply densely
droopy grasses next to the hay, and it sounds like it will be a giddy, giggly, goodly,
goofy, goosey, grabby good grammar in all its Grammy award wining grandeur
day.
Parts of this poem were copied from another poem that I cannot display here, but
that I did write, it is called “The Picnic” and I thought this would be some fun
reading for all here.
Categories:
dumpy, adventure, animals, confusion, funny,
Form:
Alliteration
I still remember, when I and you,
Went up on the trees
Climbed up on the mountains
Flunked the garden flowers
And were happy to tease girls
There were impossibles
But we made them possible
You tried to teach me English
But I was stubborn
I never concentrated
I still remember when I and you,
Were ones who felt proud of each other
We never thought for others
But made ourselves smile
We loved our seasons
We got joy and fun
We would play in the sun
On a lovely day of sun
We had lost our lovely pairs
On the bench of the beach
I still remember when I and you,
Went far and wide
We shouted and cried
We ate chips and fries
We wished to go up skies
To catch the twinkling stars
We went faraway places
To do well our graces
There were girls who put together sand
And they made some houses
We were the ones who razed the all
I still remember when I and you,
Sprinted here and there
We went coves to search some stones
And we collected them in order to play
We were always known as dumpy
We came home when it was dusky
There was so much fun
When we were in school life
We were the ones who shouted in classes
We were the ones who faced mistakes
We were the ones who bore exams
I still remember when I and you were the true best friends,
I am wondering where you are now
On a shining night, and sparkling stars
I looked for you, but you are lost
Somewhere in the sky, near some stars
You can’t be seen, but in my heart…
Categories:
dumpy, best friend, cry, feelings,
Form:
Verse
If I was a young carpenter bee
I would bore in each and every tree
create a big tunnel
where family would funnel
If I was a carpenter bee
But if I was a cockchafer,
I would live a little safer,
I would hide my grubs,
for three years in muds,
If I was a cockchafer.
If not extinct, I would be a Dodo.
With my dumpy hooked bill, just so.
I would be “why-ing”
My wings aren’t flying
Bee, Bug and Fowl, don’t you know?
Categories:
dumpy, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Limerick
Damselflies are dainty, they are wisest of the wise.
Dragonflies a bit dumpy, much bigger than you and I.
I am a three-tailed Mayfly, so I am an expert in flies.
You can call me a Stonefly, but only if your name is Sigh.
We fly in swarms, but you may not see us for a while
For we are less than a finger-tip length long, and we do not smile.
We have not mouths or tummies, for we do not survive too long.
The longest we could survive is a week, and that is way too long.
Our job is to mate and die, the happy motto of the Mayfly.
Mate in flight. Mate in sight. Mate and die. Mate and sigh.
That is the fate of the true Mayfly. Some of us last merely minutes.
Then fall back into the water to feed the fish that are in it.
Mate and die. Mate and sigh. This is the song of the happy Mayfly.
We cannot sing for we have no mouth, but we can hum if we try.
Mate and die, Mate and sigh. We mate so light, and we mate in flight.
Spy a delicate winged fly with three tails? She is a Mayfly all right.
Categories:
dumpy, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Personification
At approximately 2:45 pm on the afternoon of November lst, police were called to
the address of one Dairy Lane, where they found the broken remains of a Mr.
Humpty Dumpty who had fallen off a retaining wall in front of his residence.
Apparently, Mr. Dumpty had accidentally slipped off the brick wall while waiting for
a bus. When police arrived, they found the unfortunate soul split into three large
pieces. A large portion of the yolk had already seeped into a nearby drain sewer.
Crime Scene Investigators were immediately called to the scene, and bagged
the three large pieces of shell, plus some fragments in large plastic bags to be
later examined at the laboratory. There was also a distinct odor of cooking sherry
which gave rise to the notion that Mr. Dumpty may have been intoxicated before
falling of the wall. At this point, no fowl play was suspected.
An attempt to notify Mr. Dumpty's next of kin was unsuccessful when it was
discovered that his estranged wife had been used up in an omelet just that
morning, and that his son had met his demise the previous day in a cake mix.
His daughter had lost her life the night before being splattered against a local
school window as the result of a Halloween prank.
Mr. Dumpty leaves behind an uncle and aunt somewhere in a carton at a local
grocery store. Mr. Dumpty is survived by a great uncle whose fate is still yet to be
determined, as he lies in an egg grading station in Erie, Pennsylvania.
Funeral services for Mr. Dumpy are forthcoming. Meanwhile, CSI's have returned
to the scene of the crime to look for further clues to determine how Mr. Dumpty
died.
Categories:
dumpy, parody, halloween,
Form:
Burlesque