Best Doofus Poems

You've ignited a fire beyond what you know,
my smooth hand glides providing the flow,
striking lightening that makes the mind blow,
you stole my rhymes and put them on show.

I followed the trail and look where it led,
a place full of those that are dead in the...

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My golden dog,
two days after his death
I can still smell his fur
in my nose,
in my brain.
After frantic efforts,
we shared his last breath.
I watch the life leave
his eye.
His name was Cosmos and
I think there is a switch
on the spirally DNA
that's turned on more
for some than most.
Those...

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I Am a Big Fat Looser

Oh I am a big fat looser
I don’t deserve to live
I need someone to take a Gun
And shoot me till I’m dead

Yes I am a big fat looser
I really want to die
I’m looking for a violent guy
To shoot me in...

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Moe
Larry
Curly

Shep 
Joe

This Three-Fifth Stooges moron quartet
are brain-slow slugs you don’t wanna IQ know

Just sitting on a milk crate,
waiting outside of the MGM studio gate
Moe, Larry and Curly passed my way

They were yukking it up,
talking clown downright tomfoolery
Saying how they were the new chaos custodians of...

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My loving wife is a woman who’s just not inclined to flatter
Mine pointed out I’m not so serious about things that don’t matter
But I read between the lines of what she thought she meant
Her unintended words of praise, were actually heaven sent!

Plus, a golden opportunity...

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Dancing to Sisqo 
like a dad at a disco
that ain’t the diss though
you’re a straight up pissed ho
handbag on the dance floor 
where your sandbag **** fall
straps see you trip fool
your ugly face hit sore
wake up toothless
seeking a toothbrush 
though it be useless 
what a...

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I want to say you're silly and perhaps a little mad
Infact, you're effing cuckoo because everytime I'm sad
You always make me laugh til I pee my girlie knickers
I believe the sense in you comes in waves and flickers
And everytime I fall you're as constant as...

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Pick up the plaid skirt curly,
ride to the rave party on the down low
Sneak out the lame pimple place early,
take the cutie to the Hush Hush ‘Mo ‘Mo
Trying to act playa Romeo ... like he know,
but those fumbling hands show
And the honey he brought,
she don’t...

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Early one morn the sun did sink
   in the west as the moon arose
And Farmer Jones inspected his rose
   of purple corn, which began to dance
Shedding sheaves, donning pants...

While in the barn, the cow was neighing
   at Ed the...

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Ring around the rosie
Ribbit Dribbit Drosie
They secret the mucus.
Hookus, Lookus, Doofus.

Three frogs at play
In my field today
Straight from the swamp
Eating flies with a whomp!

Ring around the rosie
Ribbit Dribbit Drosie
Good pets they might not be
Frog legs for my tea?...

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I am watching the t.v. show Growing Pains and it brings tears to my eyes. I think
of the things my grandchildren watch. Less variety was more. We had worthwhile
lessons in a half-hour program. Today there is so much worldly noise. 

VINTAGE VINDICATION

cataclysmic dust lands on...

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12/5/20


Better choose quick
Just might lose if
You don't do it

Awesome or a nuisance
It either was or wasn't in the blueprints
Still a loner, or already shot by Cupid's
Arrow, underneath a sky that is moonlit

They spread lies, but the truth is
Staying sharp or a doofus
Handy or useless
In a...

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Me a zombie?
Never!
Just a viral doofus poseur,
Brainiac and hacker on the loose tapping into other genie lamps,
Wireless Stikbot floater skipping ID challenge.
Hurdles that authenticate saliva from a silicone palate.
Trojan horse webber getting kicks from pop up photos and their tick box phasers.
Magic putty slideshows arfe...

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The day my life went bizacko,
I had me a brush with “big C”
“No biggie; just radiation,” they said,
“after lumpectomy.”

“No, wait,” said the surgeon,“Your cancer’s genetic!
Let’s have you do chemo too.”
A doctor friend wiser said that would be
a ludicrous thing to do.

Chemo just for prevention?
How wackadoodle...

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A definite bonehead moment

since revised when das scribe 
made laughing stock of himself 
(circa ~ 8:30 post meridiem 
December twenty eighth, 2022).

A retrospective account
revisited courtesy the following 
honest to dog doe eyed, 
doofus dopey dilemma
allows, enables, and provides
figurative fodder from readers,
who ordinarily lavish
honorable voluntary praiseworthy...

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