Best Discounted Poems
There once was a poet who despaired
though blessed with a fair amount of flair
that he was way too thick
to master limericks
counting words an arduous affair
Limerick-writing he'd master not
count sillybulls, meter and whatnot
the elusive punchline's
too troublesome to find
with his thoughts roughly tied up in knots
Spatial dimension impediment
a meter doubled in measurement
at the best of times three
lopsided prosody
shoddy despite its being eloquent
Sillybulls ignored and miscounted
charge around angrily, discounted
with their hoofs on the slam
they step up the bedlam
bewildering chaos uncounted
With pep talks and deliberation
resolved: they're too high 'bove my station
so to rhyme he should stick
and give up limericks
where wordcraft counts naught but summation
*Sillybulls = syllables. My thanks to Ephraim Crud for the loan of the word.
To Wignesan: am I stooopid or what???
Categories:
discounted, light, poetry,
Form:
Limerick
I want to mingle
with the people of Walmart
as they regally push
their shopping carts
Eclectically dressed perfection
each a work of art
Camouflaged chic
or an old guy
dressed like a tart
Back and forth my eyes dart
Over there
a sequinned heart
and here
a bedazzled jacket
that looks real smart
Some saunter,
some sashay
reaching into pockets
and purses to pay
The happy faced discounts
make everyone’s day
Treasure troves in hand
life’s better than okay
See the flying nun
with her habit hiding her gun
Today’s discounted ammo
is tomorrow’s fun
As I watch her pay
I wonder if her beads and bullets
help her to pray
A coupon cowboy
basement bargain pleasure
a new pair of jeans
some pork and beans
for good measure
Get in, get out
no time for leisure
Here the world moves too fast
he don’t like the pressure
Low cut tight tops
girls searching for cheap
bargains galore
listen to the cash registers beep
I let the sights and sounds
into my brain seep
None of these people are sheep
humanity is well beyond skin deep
Lingering laughter later
might make it hard to sleep
Perhaps too much butt cleavage
and beep bleep bleep!
Inspired by Kurt Ravinda’s poem “A Metophor” his is a brilliant piece.
Categories:
discounted, art, beautiful, courage, hello,
Form:
Free verse
If there was no election fraud:
Then why so much determination to stop discussion about it?
If it is one big lie, are they calling all the Americans who testified liars?
Those who testified after signing sworn affidavits?
Even with those being brave enough to do so with death threats?
If it is so much of a lie, then why aren’t they in jail?
For that is the consequence for lying after signing the affidavit
They are not to blame for their testimony restricted to state legislatures,
Instead of being allowed into the courts, where it should be presented
Why didn’t the main stream media cover these hearings in detail?
To me, it doesn’t matter what side you are on or affiliated with
This is a federal election with proven evidence, numbers and facts,
Truly revealed in hours of testimony from credible witnesses
I would like to believe that anyone would want this fairly reviewed
It is shocking such serious matters are ignored and discounted
After all, it is our votes involved in the outcome, regardless of the result
To think that fairness in something like this goes ignored, is appalling
*We all have a right to ask these questions
Heidi Sands
2/4/21
Categories:
discounted, america,
Form:
Free verse
I found a hair in my egg roll
Lipstick was left on my glass
Discounted prices, no wonder
Bean curd is giving me gas
Cracks in the dishes are nothing
Cracks in the seats are too much
My bottom’s nearly deflated
Next thing, the floor it will touch
Speaking of floors, they’re so sticky
My foot stepped out of my shoe
An hour you’ve been in the bathroom
Search party’s looking for you
Get me the check, where’s my cookie
Ugh, there’s no fortune inside
Chow Mein is starting to rumble
Yuk! I think something has died
Categories:
discounted, food, fun, humor, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
She’s stuffed and she’s mounted;
She’s up on a board.
This week, she’s discounted;
We’ll throw in a cord.
Her joints all work;
She flexes and bends.
Pretend that she’s surfing;
The fun never ends!
She’s Wi-Fi-enabled
And password-protected.
Her system updates
Are auto-detected.
And upgrade to Pro
For 995;
She never talked more
When she was alive.
So don’t waste
your dough
On a mausoleum.
You spend all
That cash
And nobody sees ‘em.
Don’t sit there, man, move it!
Get up off your can
Our agents are waiting
Get your Instagran.
Categories:
discounted, silly,
Form:
Rhyme
i used to think
loving you too much
was romantic.
now i see—
it was me
giving away parts of myself
like clearance items,
hoping you’d find value
in something
i had already discounted.
you thought my devotion
was desperation.
you watched me fold
into smaller versions of myself
just to fit your world.
and when i broke,
you called me dramatic.
but i wasn’t asking for too much.
i was just asking you
to notice
that i gave everything
and asked
for almost nothing.
now,
i look at who i was with you—
and i forgive her.
she didn’t know
love isn’t supposed to
humiliate.
Categories:
discounted, 12th grade, age, anger,
Form:
Free verse
Dedicated to Lt. Gen. George S. Patton, Jr. (November 11, 1885 – December 21, 1945)
I'd fought a hundred battles
through the ages past and new
I'd been a lowly foot soldier
But at times commanded too.
I was a witness of Arab mothers
Fleeing cities under-siege ;
A new age liberator,
The commander of the third.
I had served with Ceasar's legion;
The Carthaginians; and the Greeks.
When Arthur was in his Kingship,
I was a captain of the knights
A horseman tough and skillful
Of medieval cavalier;
But ages had transformed me
to dash with iron wheels
The only time I meet MacArthur
Was in the salient of St. Mehiel
We both stood erect, calm, and unmindful
To the guns and bursting shell.
Oh well take a look at Monty
Too slow for his advance
He didn't expect me to take Palermo
or Mesina to my plan
I was reproved of my harshness,
They knew not that I was somber too
I cared not of my language
As long as my point would get through
I'd mixed my words with profanities
That my orders surely stick
My men would always remember every word
While they're in the battle field
Oh my, I hate those yellow bastards
They have no place on this earth
I sent them to the frontlines
That no more they would breed
Those swivel chair commanders
Discounted my two days time
But brave soldier deserved to be rescued
Before his dog tag stops to chime.
So my men made it to Dunkirk
To the delight of McAuliffe
"Surrender!" yelled the Nazis
but "nutz" was all he said.
I was cut off of supplies and fuel
For Market Garden's sake
But after pissing the flowing River
I held the Fuhrer's nest
So soon another war was ended
Mine enemies had lost
The iron carver claimed the glory
And relieved me from my post.
Categories:
discounted, memorial day, patriotic, soldier,
Form:
Sonnet
My Fido was booked into the vets
To remove his ‘love making’ assets
He was due for an op
Where his ‘bits’ got the chop
No puppies; I’d have no regrets
We arrived near the vet’s surgery
Fido yelped that he needed to wee
He heard another dog bark
Then scampered off to the park
And escaped so far away from me
To cut a long story quite short
Young Fido he could not be caught
It can’t be discounted
That doggy he mounted
I’ll admit I was very distraught!
When Fido responded to heel
His fate at the vets I did seal
He’s quickly sedated
(Poor actions berated)
His stitches will dissolve and heal!
When musing, I shouldn’t get mad
His doggy behaviour was bad
Though Fido was ‘dog gone’
His line continues on
Six puppies, look just like their dad!
Dandelions Tiger Lilies and Bearberries Oh My
Sponsored by Maureen McGreavy
5/7/18
Categories:
discounted, dog, humorous,
Form:
Limerick
For eighteen months Clyde had been overseas
Spouse wrote she was having twins, if you please
Nine months for each, he counted
Jibes by pals he discounted
With the gestation time he was at ease
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Categories:
discounted, funny,
Form:
Limerick
Urban legends: The They
My grandmother always believed
When one watches t.v.,
there‘s an unidentified they inside
Watching you back, as they spied
in your house, on your habits, straight through your privacy
Who is this they engaging in domesticated piracy?
At first, we just discounted it like the dollar store
But the more she said it, to Orwell’s credit
I could no longer dismiss and ignore
After all, I was born in 1984
Time passed on as she passed away
But her warning of they echoed throughout the decades
Feeling nostalgic, I thought I’d watch an old classic, possibly dragnet
A Full House of Friends Mashin’ CHiPs preferred Carol Burnett
So I turned to the channel and then it happened
Somewhere in between the frequencies bounced around, lost in space,
There it was or what appeared to be they face
I quickly turned the TV off out of fear
reverberations of my grandmother’s warning began tuning my ear
I heard it loud and clear, too near it not to hear it, as the voice grew
“You think you watchin’ that TV, but they watching you!”
Written April 5th, 2017, for the Urban Legends contest sponsored by Nayda Negron
Categories:
discounted, grandmother, internet, mystery, myth,
Form:
Free verse
Gifts and corporations do not equate love.
Although I admire a certain aspect.
The after effect.
Everything being restricted to one day.
Three-hundred sixty-four days in comparison.
To show how much you love, how much you care.
The simplicity of taking time out to do something special for the one you love
out of sheer appreciation.
Price tags don't include how vital it is to bask in the same breath as your loved one.
The amount of time it takes
Creating memories that outlive us.
The moments we constantly over-obsess
How could they, they are manufactured in the same manner of restriction.
Mass quantities of fluff and chocolate.
All ranging from big to small.
A single day that lasts three-hundred sixty-four days.
Love is the rarest commodity and it's all of these small moments
That create the most memories.
The after effect.
In actuality.
The real holiday is to see your face light up at all the discounted chocolate
as we celebrate each and every day
The same way we met
Three-hundred sixty-five days
Categories:
discounted, black african american, cute
Form:
Free verse
Cabbie with A Heart
This latest news about a selfless taxi driver…
The kindness out of his heart is a source for wonder ….
In the daily business of ferrying his charges for a fee…
He works long hours , morning till dusk before going off free ….
As a family man like any other, he provides for his family with his daily takings..…
Time is ever precious, more ferrying means better daily earnings…
Just as any other hard working Malaysian, he always there to give service…
Doing his utmost best each day in providing a transportation service…
For a working man such as he, where time and his service means money…
It surprises to know this taxi driver willingly sacrifices his time and money….
All for an aged yet loving couple, who are yet to be classified as senior citizens..
Who are only in their late forties and yet the woman has chronic kidney disease…
This stricken woman requires a thrice-a-week treatment at the dialysis center….
The fare is an exorbitant RM30 to pay even if the center is but a short drive away
It is always a trying time to hail for a taxi willing to take them to the center..
For the word is out that they are unable to pay the full fare, even not at all..
One fine day, as they scoured in vain for a taxi to take them to the center..…
Up came Mr Jong, an elderly and sprightly taximan, willing to ferry them over…
The kind hearted soul in him accepts only RM20 for his service, if possible..
He’s such a good man, giving discounted rides and payments in installments..
Taxi driver Jong, 61 years old, thinks he is doing something simple…
Out of the goodness in his heart, he is now on their call three times-a-week…
It matters not, Jong wisely observes, I am Chinese and they are Malays in need…
God willing, I will stay healthy and I trust them to pay me when they able indeed..
So fellow Malaysians, do marvel at this display of humanity on the streets…
There are countless other good deeds being played out that are not called to heed…
But this episode runs contrary to the prejudices and the mistrust on racial lines..
It calls for brotherhood love, as the same colored blood runs common beneath our skins..
http://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2015/12/16/a-kind-and-caring-taxi-driver-cabbie-drives-couple-to-dialysis-centre-without-expecting-payment/
Categories:
discounted, appreciation, blessing, encouraging, giving,
Form:
Narrative
From river to the sea, an ocean of blood, filled with cries of children;
peace is broken, homes destroyed, lives shattered, a sea of refugees fleeing torrential bombs, under the ether of Western civilization resisting a ceasefire.
From river to the sea, Palestine is on the brink, like an express train to unspeakable tragedy befalling a whole nation, slated for extinction.
History's marching backward, to Rwanda and Auschwitz, a clever strategem for land without its original people, invaded by European settlers citing holy book to lay their claims, like Spanish conquistadors, proclaiming an "empty continent."
From river to the sea, a nation rises and put down like new Spartacus, mutinous against their slavery, and the new King Cnut desperately summoning the waves for Eretz Israel, with no more checkpoints and separation walls; they're only needed for an apartheid state.
From river to the sea, priceless treasures, highlighting architectural ensembles of centuries, buried under the chorus 'finish them,' finish them all, old, young, women, children, their animals too. The magic of land that spawned world religions suddenly has dwindled to a trickle of humanity, the catharsis of a crisis of spirit, shutting down conscience, and soon new settler homes shall be built on tower of skulls, with Gaza's unwelcome beaches available to western tourists again, offering kayakers great thrills at discounted prices, with its banks lined with daffodils and new palm trees, so the pleasure boats can anchor for a day to take advantage of the whirlpools of new resorts with a big sign, no Palestinian allowed.
From river to the sea, the light glows within the dispossessed, and with each martyr, their spirit of resistance blooms, and the saga lingers: Palestine will be free, and Jews and Muslims shall live together in peace.
Categories:
discounted, anger,
Form:
Free verse
I seen heaven in a dream and like all good things
It ends to soon.
Eight hours narrowed down to short memory.
Lopsided sheets tucked comfortably in a discounted comforter.
Just before I waking up I heard a voice call my name.
A soothing voice layered in comfort.
Not once did I move. A place moist in anticipation.
Very rarely do I get to travel.
And good things come to end too soon.
The memory of smiling faces seen on a lukewarm day.
An older man sat at an iron wrought table.
Reading to himself the details of spaghetti and fork.
A slight twirl of long noodles punctuated by a piece of meat.
Next time I come I'll have to eat there.
By the open door with chalk on a board.
Going to sleep watching the food network definitely has it's consequences.
Being woke from one of the best dreams ever.
The sound of a rumbling stomach.
And an empty fridge
Categories:
discounted, black african american, dream,
Form:
Free verse
A musing Mary, quite stationary
sitting with her laptop so still
thinks of limo cars, Broadway stars
and her dream house on the hill
Jill and Jack laid in their sack
wondering about Mary on their hill
making hay about "will she stay?"
tip their bucket to make it spill
Georgie Porgie and the water supply
got fresh with Mary, then up and went dry
and the big bad wolf ate Grandma away
George as the wolf, sang Broadway cabaret
Little Miss Muffet and Little Jack Horner
hawked wares on a New York street corner
pies, curds and whey, discounted all day
and Little Muffet did, a magic trick play
friends Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee
hired a blind mouse to make it three
sang sidewalk duets, with the mouse rapping
shoes clicking softly and tiny cane tapping
Old Mother Goose, a Times Square recluse
did Father Gander's paycheck squander
on baubles and bling and trivial things
why she needed all that stuff I wonder
Ol' King Cole, his kingdom in a hole
decided to further leverage his coffers
with bonds of junk and dollars that shrunk
he's in Cayman Islands awaiting better offers
ganders and gooses are on the looses
and Ol' Cole and Mary and Jill and Jack
are off on a vacation and won't come back
still common rhymes hafta work over time
© Goode Guy 2011-10-10
Categories:
discounted, funny, parody,
Form:
Couplet