Best Chomped Poems
Yer briny whore
akin to boar
wit' mangy hide 'n scurvy-pocked
chomped 'n chewed
me black 'n blue
wit' carnassial chompers as of croc
Be curs'd, yer nit
me ample bits
equated ter yer own be nowt
yerz be carnivorous
scaly 'n scabrous
yer plaque be axed ter beef up grout
Uncomely wench
yer skunky stench
blunted me hook 'n scorched me beard
me peepers stung
me hornpipe hung
shorn ter th' bone 'n shrivelled 'n seared
Comely 'n curvy
riddled wit' scurvy
th' cap'n's whore-maid tooken yer whole
yer rat o' th' sea
holed and *****
yer fired yer cannon in a rottin' port'ole
Blow me down, lover!! I love it when we talk dirty.
(Hahahaha. I see the Soup powers-that-be deleted my word. I swear it's not used as a swearword. The word rhymes with "hussy". lol)
Categories:
chomped, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
I ate myself the other day
Unhinged my jaw and chomped away
No crumb was left after I dined
No limbs, or head, or crooked spine
Each bite I took was bittersweet
Laced with love and shamed defeat
I didn't even say goodbye
To all I loved and held so high
My tummy rumbled, so then I ate
What was left of me,
That you didn't take
Categories:
chomped, emotions, feelings, heartbreak, heartbroken,
Form:
Rhyme
In time, all men must come to terms with dreams
and cast off all they crave that true life stomped
yet still hold joy’s sure seeds in hope lined seams
lest all their heart holds dear just fails flat chomped.
We do and should build dreams in life with zeal
but must well bind our dreams with prime ground ties
that will not lose or bruise our dreams pitched feel
but hold our soul’s core glow where good light sighs.
Some dreams are mere flight trips our minds need take
to keep our thoughts from scenes that rip our hearts,
then there are dreams we wish for earth’s own sake
where peace and love may paint their best toned starts.
Some dreams are meant as heart cheer, mind reared sways.
Some dreams are meant as heart cheer, mind steered stays.
... CayCay
September 22, 2019
Categories:
chomped, dream, life, passion, people,
Form:
Sonnet
I went to a cheese and wine party on Saturday,
where huge platters of cheese were on display.
There was Gorgonzola and creamy white Brie,
I devoured huge chunks with a glass of Chablis.
Danish Blue, Mozzarella and Swiss Emmental,
of course I had to try a sample of them all!
I declined Edam and Gouda, I find them too waxy -
and the last time I ate them I was sick in the taxi!
Soft creamy Camembert and blue Roquefort,
went down a treat with a glass of vintage port.
Crumbly Cheshire and Cheddar were so divine,
and tasted heavenly with red Beaujolais wine.
I’d chomped through all of the Stinking Bishop,
our hostess had to restock the whole dish up!
Then I munched little cubes of Monterey Jack -
if my doctor saw me he’d have a heart attack!
When our host carried in a blue Stilton in a truckle,
I loosened a notch on my now straining belt buckle!
I admit blue cheese can smell like men's sweaty socks
but ripe Stilton and crackers, this cheese simply rocks!
Write a poem about Cheese Contest
Sponsored by Barry Stebbings
FICTION POEM FOR CONTEST
11/12/18
Categories:
chomped, food, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
Eco Thunder
Got me horse on the footpath ,
Old Thunder ain’t lightening quick,
Keeps me lawn a mowing down,
And leaves me them manura bricks.
Has his nosebag chaff n oats,
Oats for power is the trick,
Good company in the house,
Chomped the rug a little bit.
Have me Aussie Kneepad saddle,
Pads to keep you in a bit.
Don’t need protection, horse on guard ,
To kick n bite and strike halfwits.
Cheap to run at half a gallop,
Don’t jig jog the natural gait,
Aussie horses walk ,trot, canter,
Less kidney trouble old mate.
Horses had homing control,
Took the drunkards home with care,
If you got lost in the horse paddock,
Let him take you home ,
yes you’d get there.
Robb A. Kopp
Contest Name Eco-friendly Vehicles
Categories:
chomped, adventureme, home, home, horse,
Form:
Rhyme
There once was a Leo from St. Paul.
Who attended a masquerade ball.
My friend thought he would risk it
and came dressed as a biscuit.
An Aries Lab chomped him up in the hall!
Was unsuccessful attaching the Zodiac sign.
Categories:
chomped, funny
Form:
Limerick
deer tracks
leading to chomped impatiens
gunshots in the woods
Categories:
chomped, nature,
Form:
Haiku
an earlier draft of this barely satisfactory missive ex post facto, i chomped asper with upper dentures upon evincing a couple of typographical errors, in up rye or draft, and did not wanna dodge being a spell bound stickler for typing words correctly.
though no obligation to trot out this fixation sans zero misspelling tolerance, a compulsion with any concomitant obsession found me reposting before a repast of dessert - so there Ghost of Marie Antoinette, wherever you might be hiding - i can have my cake and eat it too!
Minus trimmings and over stuffed ego freezers,
but altruism, civility, Dharma bum ethnocentrism,
gratuitous homogeneous internationalism,
karma mosaic opportunism, quitessential righteousness,
unpretentious vivacious wide world yipping,
brouhaha dutifully emphasizing friendliness,
antithetically booing critical, popularly pugnacious
spoiled trump petting uber western yikyak,
zealous antipathy craving everything.
---------------------------------------------------------
a hypothetical, mental, rhetorical thought question
occurred to me just moments ago
sans, milk of human kindness bubbles frothily
upon major American holiday,
whereat figurative bro
thar and sisters exhibit philanthropic
good-samaritan charitable ambitions
especially, towards indigent that crow
for bare necessities
other than
when Thanksgiving rolls around, and dough
nuts to dollars even most frugal misanthropes
play feigned charitable card egoistically glow
with ambient benevolence, civility,
diligent energy, and friendly hello
and sundry pleasant greetings
hook hood be some
soon tubby rich entrepreneurial stranger
ready to make shares available vis a vis IPO
Categories:
chomped, culture, food, house, joy,
Form:
Epic
Without further ado
i offer my literary missives anew
fur ye to ponder and brew
from meister mwm of his motley crue,
whom dwells in a nada very complex edifice
which numb burr oof offspring equals deux
whereby this spouse i.e me kind of resembles an emu
whence money a edified reader considers
dis goy wit sum brain cells 2 few
chomped on by an carnivorous elder gnu
and said two female progeny sired
from one ova plus super seminal glue
swimming swiftly via viscous hue
genetic heritage comprised predominantly Jew
with one late uncle lou
who himself a milch cow and frequently did moo
which found me to rue
what comprises reality to be true
that all humans originated from the primate zoo.
*****Sapiens Sale hums lot
witnessed vicious thermal winds that blew
thick mass of cremated ashes
across rubble strewn,
and severely cratered landscape!
The devil made mince meat
as like one huge lumbering ogre
and grim reaper
rolled up into one
not so jolly green giant did slay
good will to all men,
and spat out pox with an emphatic nay
triumphing over godly salvation
using eponymous accursed pitchfork
made merry and rolled in the hay
simultaneously sneering out in delight
at wanton death and decay
whereby civilization forever mutilated
perforated said spindled
and inappropriately sensually fondled
world wide web structure
where once proud arm strong spikes radiated
now sundered in total chaotic disarray!
Categories:
chomped, analogy, creation, deep, farewell,
Form:
Dramatic Verse
Pied piper Spider Spidy web poet of Lill
Jabbed by muse Arachne she got dressed to kill
She met her hubby Punisluffer
An web ballet choreographer
In fret and flirt she chomped his heart-a lovechill
Categories:
chomped, fun, nonsense,
Form:
Limerick
There is no specific appearance attributed
to the horrifying Boogeyman, he may resemble
Windico or diabolic Krampus; these creatures
are spiteful and like to punish only the good kids.
In my childhood he came around and hunted
my longest nights and alone I started to tremble.
The frightening Boogieman was after the young boys,
he was as frightening as ghosts and gave goosy bumps;
he stalked nice kids who tickled their little chubby bear
at home when their mom was busy styling her frizzy hair.
He came around dusk and peaked in laughing to spot
beautiful children doing their homework by lamplight;
with lots of whims on his mind he got ready to act,
but he didn't know that the Bulldog felt no fright.
He pushed the unlocked door and barged in, then every kid
screamed and ran to the bathroom with a face of white wax;
his groan was a thunder, brave mother swung the long ax...
but the ferocious Bulldog attacked him without being afraid.
The Boogeyman looked too confident, but was overcome by bites
and profusely bled on the chicken floor, he was a defeated fiend;
the watchful Bulldog made sure that he didn't get up and opened eyes:
no mercy for such a monster, justice was done by the kids' best friend.
Categories:
chomped, children, death, dog, dream,
Form:
Rhyme
Harry was lost in a crush of ladies
They fell on him and threw him in eddies
Lucy munched his coat
As a horse chomped oat
Got crushed on Harry and asked for addies
Harry was lost /Limerick Copyright (C) Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty 24 November 2014
Categories:
chomped, fun, nonsense,
Form:
Limerick
Popcorn and assorted snacks in hand
My vision obscured with the theatres darkness
The streets permeated with shrieks of horror
Artificial blood oozes earthward from the victims
Flesh being feasted upon
Brains gnashed into pudding
Goosebumps slither up my body
Lights illuminate the deadline of the movie
-
Bewilderment dominates humanity
Our perception dazed in abhorrence
The pavement eclipsed with hustling bodies
Genuine vital fluids cascade from carcasses
Sinews chomped on
Squishy matter engorged in mouths
Horripilation wriggles in me
Hope abandons existence
-
Despair fluctuates through me
My sight conceives facts
Asphalt collides with my face
Hemoglobin departs out of my possession
Body tissue separated from my leg
My cerebral cortex out of reach
Agony scorches inside
Endurance beckons me to flee
-
Delirium sears through
My eyes dim and hazy
An alley my last mortal destination
My internal juices idle
Epidermis mutilated
My mind discontinues
Death replaced with the need….
The need to feed
Categories:
chomped, adventure, confusion, science fiction,
Form:
Dramatic Verse
I know a butter girl who chomped a dragon fly
In the east of Doggonderry she found a good guy
He kissed on her cheek with his Pygmalion beak
And she sat on a rose of the garden of Mandai
They fell in love and lived on a Quidrillion sea
And bought honey cubes from store of Queen bee
They went to ladybug's hotel Ilk for a quart of milk
And returned home with a cup of black tea
They were in love for ten thousand years
There were no fruitflies, no jackal fears
They moved to the south with trench mouth
Trailing behind an ocean of tears
Categories:
chomped, fantasy,
Form:
Rhyme
Olives
I like olives - so smooth and round,
wrinkled or puckered, by the pound,
from the deli or in a jar,
savory flavours, the best by far.
Firm and juicy, large or small,
ripe or salty, I like them all.
Stuffed with garlic, pimento slice,
those saucy tongues are pretty nice.
I like them as a tapenade.
On salad or pizza, they make me glad.
I like them ripe, I like them green,
sliced in marinara, petite or Queen.
Sprinkled on nachos, straight from the shelf,
green, black or purple, all by them self.
I eat them slowly, one at a time.
Or chomped on in pairs is equally fine.
Alfonso, Mission, Manzanilla,
Beldi, Gordal, Cerignola
Amfissa too and Kalamata,
Castelvetrano, and Taggiasca.
Dry cured, salt cured, soaked in brine,
to me they all are just - sublime.
Written 2017
'I'm Crushing On You'
Julie Leigh Rodeheaver
Categories:
chomped, food, funny,
Form:
Couplet