Best Chew The Fat Poems
The Elected
Sharks leave the water to campaign on land
Drink Champagne at political parties
Draw blood; circle around, troll for enemies
Take contributions with a wink
Tease young girls, kiss babies, follow rules
To the point of razor sharp teeth
Follow schools of fish
Delicious to eat
Sharks don’t just swim. They float
Rainy days don’t help the votes
Bait dangles on hooks
Sharks steal it when no one looks
Change to gentlemen in a gesture
Genuflect when given gifts
Run, (though they have no feet) at the smell of money
Chummed up by buddies in muddied waters
Pray for a cause to chew the fat
Call Jaws if all else fails
Sharks fly when not swimming to victory
The media counts on them to lie
They lie in wait to strike
At the elected hour
When they rise to power
Sharks love the taste of cowards
Most people got married in June because
They took their yearly bath in May
Body odor was the reason
Of the flowers in a bouquet
A big tub of hot water was used
For a bath, so that's not complex
The males's right was to go first
The women and children went next
Last of all was the babies turn
By then the water was real dark
"Don't throw the baby out with the wash"
Soon became a common remark
Dirt floors were all the poor could afford
The old saying "dirt poor" came from that
The wealthy's floors were slippery slate
In wet winter you just might fall flat!
So they would spread straw on the floor
But they called it thresh way back then
and a "Thresh Hold" was what they called
The piece of wood used to hold it in!
Stew in a big kettle over a fire
Provided their dinner for them to eat
Leftovers left to get cold at night
With vegetables but not much meat
They added to the pot every day
It could be several days I'm told
That was referred to in the old rhyme
"Peas porridge in the pot nine days old"
When they could "bring home the bacon"
They were always proud about that
They would cut a little off to share
Then sit around and "chew the fat"
Pewter plates would cause lead poison
If like, in tomatoes, the acid was high
So for the next four hundred years or so
They thought tomatoes would make you die!
Bread was split according to status.
The burnt bottom to workers was thrust
The family would get the middle part
While the guests got the "upper crust"
Sometimes they'd pass out a few days
Because with whiskey they'd use a lead cup
So they would be prepared for burial
But "hold a wake" to see if they woke up
England had to re-use their coffins
But there were scratch marks, on some inside
They thought about it and soon realized
They must have been burying people alive!
Then they were buried with a string on their wrist
A bell was attached outside as well
Someone sat on "the graveyard shift" so
a "dead ringer" could be "saved by the bell"
This is true history, you can look it up
For me history always gave me a fit
But now this history doesn't seem so boring
Since I managed to make a poem out of it!
We talk, we rap, we connect, we chat
To figure out where our heads are at
We discuss, we explain, criticize, clarify
We ask a few questions: What, where and why
We argue, debate, yell, fight and contest
We scratch and claw for the truth; we give it our best
We chew the fat, shoot the bull and whatever
To while away the time with comments so clever
The one mouth that we have, we surely do use
For our good! But here's what we're missing --
That two ears were we each given
~ To focus on listening
About
Now I’m retired, free of bosses
And fools and spinners of bull;
Now I’m retired and free:
“Working”… was being trapped in a
Spinning washing machine
Should I explain, or let you imagine?
Now I’m retired: targets have gone;
Together with days and “time”…
Time is now, today and “about”
And coffee
Now I’m retired I’m a “slouch” in good
Health with cool, friendly, funny friends:
But the friends who still work have that
“after the funeral look” about them
Now I’m retired, I’m inspired, when twice
A month, money falls down from heaven…
A thousand here a thousand there; and no debts
To pay, (except perhaps a shirt or two).
Now I’m retired I have time to eat and write
And Photograph, and chew the fat with you,
My loving, pretty wife: ….. now I’m retired.
Mama's Golden Pond Cried
Mama loved to chew
off the Golden Pond
bone
chew the fat
of their autumn leaves,
dressed in splendor,
a scenic lake and cabin,
her pseudo stage,
of her new found barbies,
smiling at her
smile they did
so minted the american dream,
their lives golden.
These.
These
pocketed keepsakes she kept
next to the chip
on her shoulder.
Yet her music plays
ill forgotten lore and simile
of her family and children,
scruffy unkempt dogs
she never proud,
she drummed over and over,
her catch phrase.
We watched the movie
long ago,
in her element,
in her tempo,
bated breath,
tears falling
and detached.
Yet her music plays
so content
and spawning such a fondness
in her heart,
of them rowing a boat,
aging, golden.
Yet her music plays
sadly
in her heart
of emptiness
at home
dying,
lifeless grey eyes.
Yet, so steely
her song
snow blind of her son
sitting next to her
in the darkening theater,
her wintry chill,
so indigenous,
taking life hostage.
Just my child
her teeth
chattering
to piano keys
playing,
playing in her concerto
dancing on golden pond...
such a waste her lips mimed.
Her keys.
And mine sink low.
... Just my child
she sat akimbo,
in silhouette,
tears I imagine,
and her voice
... and her voice
once icy then
now a scar,
a ghost,
... scruffy come here.
connie pachecho
6/30/17
Defined By Idioms
Naked truth, bent nails
dead men tell no tales
bad Apple, broken mirrors
burnt out light bulbs, crocodile tears
spilt milk, goose chase
two cents worth, rat race
rotten egg, bad to the bone
eagle eye, no place like home.
bat from hell,
pulled punch
big cheese,
no free lunch
can of worms, bleeding heart
knock on wood,
till death do us part
bite the bullet, checkered past
good as gold,
last laugh
burning bridges,
ball of wax
hold your horses start from scratch
wooden nickels ace up your sleeve
hair of the dog
all Greek to me
axe to grind
behind the eight ball
bigger they are
the harder they fall
jack of all trades cat's got your tongue
fair weathered friend
like father like son
small world
on thin ice
speak of the Devil roll of the dice
blood's thicker than water
lie like a rug
dime a dozen
when push comes to shove
dog eared pages
eye for an eye
bury the hatchet how time flies clean as a whistle C
chew the fat
crime doesn't pay. cover my ass
throw me under the bus gentle as a lamb
cold shoulder
hit the fan
buyer beware
woman's work never done
never say never
takes one to know one
come Hell or high water
pissing in the wind
pretty as a picture through thick and thin
beat a dead horse pass the buck
whole nine yards down on my luck
life’s a
don't rock boat
needless to say
go for broke
My life is the sum of trite cliches
Jaded expressions
so worthless so worn
I couldn't give it away
Eiger counter
"Don't throw the baby out with the bath water," please the water was clean after
father and mother and the water was better than ever even after the brother but
when eye took my bath the poor baby was lost they looked in the drain but poor
baby was gone there forever. The moral is kept as a memorial there does not
toss out the clean water.
A coward dies a thousand times but a hero dies but once and a man who lives
much like a DOG is always spit upon but to be a dog still tied to the living is more
to be desired than heroing because the bible says a man who lives is better
than the dead.
We will get married in JUNE no we will marry in JULY or even MAY is better
because the ewe is born the first time in the month of May showers and what’s in
JULY well the CHARLAX was born and bred.
Bread was given out according to status. Workers were given the burnt bottom of
the loaf, the family got the middle and guests got the top or the "upper crust."
The loaf of bread is still the status but now the homeless man gets his loaf
without the burnt part on. Eye am now the uppermost crust.
Making the batter up planting the leaven worth leaving the center for mye family
clan.
Pease and thankzx ewe one and all for peas given do not thaw until the fall from
vine refine the peas and make a handful last for days.
This is why the nursery rhymers’ fortold:
Peas porridge hot, peas’ porridge cold, pea’s porridge in the pot nine days old."
Enter laughing.
It was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon." They would sit
around with guests, cut off a bit of pork and "chew the fat." Then they would toss
the ole pigskin.
Play leap pig again. Slop the children. Smoke the hambone and root in the cellar.
What a feller this poet seems at work. He has a eiger counter at his home.
What in the World
God greeted me with poems by the galore
So I will write this one and many more
For your to read, praise, love and adore
And share with you others I have in store.
Now it is time to take my poetry test
To determine poem that you like best
Proving my point and not being a pest
Unless other subjects you have to suggest.
If you can't find subject it I will determine
Could a dose of my verbose be a vermin
We know that a tank was called a Sherman
So why all around have you been squirming?
Here is pen and subject I have arrived at
Be ye unruly Republican or dumb Democrat
I myself prefer President who can chew the fat
What in the world do you think about that?
James Thomas Horn, Retired Veteran
The wonders of the Cell Phone
By Franklin Price
6/12/2016
The wonders of the cell phone,
If you can call it that,
Are miraculous and myriad
Not just there to chew the fat.
Can make a call, or text a friend,
Take a picture of a moose,
Play games, pay bills and find your way.
Buy most anything you choose
The side effects are many
On society as a whole
No face to face required
Seems to be the high tech goal
If you're a little curious
And need to see the one you call
Just face time and you'll look at them;
Now doesn't that just solve it all?
Better yet, when you decide
That it is time to go,
Just say goodbye and tap to end
And you can make it so.
Lame excuses not required
Amenities not on the floor
A simple cell phone function
And it's goodbye and out the door
There is one thing that I suggest
Before I end this tout.
Take some time to visit personally
That's what life should be about.
I am not a cowboy, though I wear a cowboy hat
and the boots I wear have pointed toes and heels that ain’t near flat.
I want to be a cowboy, but I’m stopped by one condition
I just can’t get a handle on those cowboy definitions.
When you say Chaps, I think cologne, and that’s not all, there’s more
a Quarter Horse is what kids ride outside the K-Mart store
A Bull is the just first part of an expletive deleted
and Pony’s just a little keg of beer, too soon depleted.
I’m not sure what a Cayuse is, but, it’s my recollection
that the Spurs play basketball and Red Eye’s an infection.
No, I am not a cowboy, and I guess that’s clear to you
but, I read books by Cowboy Poets to find out what to do.
How I should walk, how I should talk, and even how to spit.
When to drink and when to eat and when to take a sit-
down with some pardners, play some cards and chew the fat
about the Dallas Cowboys and topics such as that.
A fella told me “get a horse”, that’s the thing that I should do.
So, I got a little pinto, but the body rusted through.
I used to have Colt 45’s.I’d drink some every day
now, the Saddlebags it gave me just won’t go away.
Round up kills weeds, I know because I use it now and then.
When you say stirrups, all I think is O-B-G-Y-N.
Yeah, I want to be a cowboy, wearin’ jeans and denim shirts
and dance that Texas Two Step till my old doggies hurt.
I’ll eat my Texas Chili hot, washed down with Lone Star Beer.
I’ll vacation at a Dude Ranch and maybe milk myself a steer.
No, I am not a cowboy, but I think that I could be
once I get a handle on the terminology.
Jeff Hildebrandt © 1999
The guests have come and gone, now back to the old routine.
We showed them all the tourists spots, partook of local cuisine,
Put many miles on the old sedan and spent a ton of dough!
Sure was nice to see them come - better yet to see them go!
My bedtime is off kilter - they want to stay up and chew the fat.
Their visit even upset the routine of my dear inscrutable cat!
Spouse jolts me awake, nudging 'neath the table with her toe!
Sure was nice to see them come - better yet to see them go!
Surprise! Surprise! They showed up with their miserable cur!
Consternation reigned when he saw the cat, causing quite a stir!
On the priceless Persian carpet, the mutt let his water freely flow!
Sure was nice to see them come - better yet to see them go!
Come time to pay for luncheon, we do the well-known shuffle,
As to who will pick up the tab sans causing a frightful ruffle!
Invariably, we end up sharing the total amount we owe!
Sure was nice to see them come - better yet to see them go!
Tho' this verse was written with considerable tongue in cheek,
I love having guests - as long as they say within a week,
Tho' some of my habitual modus operandi I must forego.
Sure is nice to have them come - better yet to see them go!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
If you'll indulge me, this short poem, based on George Formby's WW2 forces song, was inspired by my son;'s experiences of backpacking in India over the past month. In that time he met ONE other traveler that wanted to just chew the fat, have a chai and watch the world go by with. Every other traveler he tried to engage in a chat or some site seeing (and sight seeing!) was at best indifferent and at worst simply rude.
So for (most) of the backpacking fraternity on the sub-continent...
Bless'em all.
By The Didds.
bless 'em all! bless 'em all,
the boorish, and with minds so small,
gone to India, to travel and learn,
sat in their hostels avoiding sunburn,
never speaking to others at all,
as back to their smartphones they crawl,
There's no conversation, in the Indian nation,
By gap-yearers less than enthralled!
MY GOD SAYS dedicated to GOD IS SPEAKING MINISTRIES
Talk
say (anything/something)
utter
state
My God declares declare
tells
by His voice narrative natures choice
Pronounce articulate enunciate
Vocalize verbalize
Enounce My God says
o have a conversations
"Last time He spoke"
My God says have a conversation with His spirit
talk
My God says have a talk with Jesus
My God says have a discussion
Converse communicate His will His ways
Make conversation with His sounds
Chew the fat/rag His natures eats
My God said natter have a chinwag
Shoot the breeze MY Creator winds
Give a speech give a talk His righteousness walks
5/12/23
Written by James Edward Lee Sr. 2023©
I don't wanna hear it,
you grinning Cheshire cat
Go wipe your dirty feet somewhere else
Spreading your gossip fact
with a web of lies and innuendo
Your eight eyes
love peeping into other people lives
through a cracked window
Weaving your idle chatter with frivolous conversation
Meaningless talk ... deceitful here say doth stalk
Go chew the fat with someone else;
don't try to bend my ear, I don't wanna hear
I'm gonna steer clear
from your obscenely obese comments
But I have a message to deliver to you,
so come near
Rumor has it,
that your loose lips was the culprit ...
caused your neighbor to suffer a massive heart attack
And you kissed her casket dressed in widow black
Keep chewing the fat,
and pretty soon it's gonna be you
lying in the morgue on your back
Now go run and tell that
32 have taken their own lives.
Leaving behind, children, friends and wives
How much longer is this to go on
Devastating families is totally wrong
No person should get to this state
When they could just chat to a mate
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness
It's about sharing your bleakness
Other ways to cope with this mess
Admit that you are in distress
Learn about breathing, and using your senses
This will strengthen your defences
That black dog that sits on your shoulder
Let it know you were a soldier
You are strong and can't be beat
You are not ready for defeat
My ask is that everyone shares
To show all affected somebody cares
This is not a massive ask
Go and see them take a flask
Sit down with a listening ear
Let them know you are here
Have a chat and make a brew
Chew the fat like you use too
Being beside them is really great
The true meaning of a mate
If you do this simple thing
You could stop heavens bar-bell ring