Best Carlisle Poems
Wobbly bits , Hairy bits and dangly bits galore
So if you're feeling squeamish
Draw your curtains and lock the door
For today is the day in Yorkshire
When the naked ramblers go on tour.
They will walk beside the railway line
From Settle to Carlisle
All their bits a bouncing
For mile after mile
You are welcome to join them
but you can wear nothing but a smile .
One of the guys must have fallen in a puddle
I think his name is Jim
Some things shrink when they're in water
and you'll feel really sorry for him.
The lady garden of Hairy Mary
Really needs a trim .
One lady must be American
Well her wobbly bits have certainly gone
To the very deepest south .
She's spitting out tobacco juice
From the corner of her mouth
Her lady garden looks angry
With that mass of ginger hair
Goodness gracious , She bent over
Now that really gave me a scare.
I hope I have inspired you
So if you're feeling brave
Pop into the bathroom
and give your bits a shave
Then you can apply to join
The naked ramblers society
Don't forget to give me a wave
I'm the guy hiding behind the tree.
Categories:
carlisle, funny,
Form:
Verse
One big boom reverberates,
we shelter 'neath the railway bridge,
the swirling wind ensures we get a soaking anyway.
The Croal is roaring well above the watermark,
the nature lover in me hopes the smaller fish
will beat the flow and seek a sheltered cranny.
Peewits squeal, and wheel through softened skies,
as sunshine makes a welcome reappearance.
Drying out, we wait for trains,
our notebooks at the ready.
A record twenty-six come through,
some chug to local destinations,
others muscle by, non-stop,
to Carlisle and the Scottish Highlands.
We eat our sandwiches in silence,
underlining names and numbers.
Clambering up the embankment
and skittering down, as gravity
grabs then releases we fall in a heap,
and can't wait to do it again!
An impromptu game of catch,
throwing stones instead of tennis balls,
our laughter uncontrollable,
we trip and stagger home.
The warp and weft, the fabric of my youth
still reassures me with these moments of enduring truth.
Categories:
carlisle, childhood,
Form:
Verse
PASSION FOR CYCLING
Coast to coast across England in one day
A hundred miles in one trip.
Bike like a rocket each sprocket fits its socket
With well oiled smoothness of clockwork
Feels good as chain clunks from one socket to the next
And the ticking whirring of freewheel
And zipping noise of fast tires on flat ashphalt
Hum a song to me as I lean over into the bend
And the bike leans with me.
Smooth road; never mind the few bumps;
And air so fresh you could eat it in lumps.
Aroma of York’s chocolate ten miles away,
Bread-baking and brewing downwind of Carlisle
Make me ready for dinner. And the strong
Odour of fish in North Shields,
Stink of cattle feed outside Goole,
Sickly smell of plastics factory, oil newly-refined,
Makes you see even if you’re blind.
Makes me want to pedal for home.
Categories:
carlisle, adventureme, me,
Form:
Narrative
Glenbuck Son
1913-1981
In Glenbuck he was born
From an Ayrshire mine he did rise
The man who would change so many lives
With the Cherry Pickers he played the game
With Carlisle United he first found fame
At Deepdale with Tom Finny he did play
Seven caps for Scotland he was proud to display
As a manager new tricks to learn
To Carlisle United he did return
At Grimsby he cast his net
The Glenbuck son's destiny was set
Workington and Huddersfield he did run
No to Liverpool in '51
Eight years down the line
An historic day in December '59
All would soon fear the famous THIS IS ANFIELD sign
Promotion in '62
Champions in '64
The Glenbuck son, Kopites did adore
'65 to Wembley in May
The Glenbuck son took the Cup away
Now Into Europe he lead his team
To be Champions of Europe was his dream
Cheated in Milan, all was doom and gloom
Now back home in his beloved boot room
The Glenbuck son would sit in a huddle
'73 he won a league and UEFA cup double
May 74 back at Wembley once more
Malcolm McDonald, what's the score?
July, the Kopites heads are down
The Glenbuck son has relinquished his crown
September 1981
Rest in peace our Glenbuck son
Forever we celebrate his memory
Thank you to the KING BILL SHANKLY
Categories:
carlisle, sports, son, son,
Form:
Rhyme
Whee am i, eh?
A'm Cumbrian thats whee, like eh.
Red, Green, Yellow
Once a year ower the Cumberland show,
Livestock, ter an' fro, ter an' fro.
Yan, Tan, Tether
Gypsies, jockeys, towns’ folk alike,
Appleby 'orse-fair awwer the dyke.
Red, Green, Yellow
Scotland has i's 'aggis, Lancashire i's ho' pot,
We 'ave uz sausage an' tha' does uz lo'.
Yan, Tan, Tether
Ice-cream a' Allonby shiftin' ter Silloth on sea,
Righ' round Wes' Cumbria an' back yam fur scordy, like eh.
Red, Green, Yellow
Up a' five an' ou' a' dawn,
The 'aaf-ne' fishers, early morn, like eh.
Yan, Tan, Tether
Keswick, Caldbeck an' Seascale too,
All the visitors passin' through.
Red, Green, Yellow
There’s Por' Carlisle on the warl,
People comin' yan an' all.
Yan, Tan, Tether
Whee am i, eh?
A'm Cumbrian thats whee, like eh.
Categories:
carlisle, animals, history, life, people,
Form:
Ode
Simon used to take part in motocross,
Before his bike stalled once mid-air,
When he was training on his farm land,
Which left him paralysed waist down.
He was born in 1982 on the 7th June,
And having fought back from that day,
In 2001 when he did dance with death,
He now races the Marathon T52/53/54.
He most often competes alongside Weir,
But worries about safety combinations,
Because safety issues can concern him,
And the Zika virus was a scare, quite big.
He lives in Maryport but trains in Carlisle,
At the Sheepmount Stadium to neatly chat,
With olympians Tom Farrell and Nick Miller,
Who he knows to be top athletes, class.
Dr Ian Thompson, Tanni Grey’s hubby,
Who trained this fantastic legendary idol,
Also trains Simon by propelling, pushing,
Him to muscle on further and further.
In 2015 he did brave to firmly complete,
The Great North Run, the half marathon,
When he won the silver in the T53 class,
And he works as a car mechanic by day.
Categories:
carlisle, body, courage, dream, endurance,
Form:
Blank verse
The big debate : “What is a city ?” –
A town created by a charter
And often with cathedral church
But sometimes with an ancient abbey.
St David's, Pembroke is the smallest,
Just twelve hundred citizens
And London is by far the largest,
Populous eight million plus.
Many sprawling conurbations
Are the backbone of our nation :
There's Leeds and London, Bath and Bristol,
Canterbury, Sheffield, Hull;
Then Cardiff, Glasgow, Edinburgh,
Norwich, Wells and Peterborough,
Oxford, Cambridge, Manchester,
Swansea, Truro, Chichester,
Worcester, Portsmouth, York and Belfast,
Carlisle, Chelmsford, Perth.
In cities there is entertainment
With cinema and theatre too,
Museum, gallery and concert hall –
A cultured way of relaxation.
A city has a green side too
With parks and gardens to explore,
Pedestrian precincts help us shop
Away from traffic noise and fumes.
I recommend a city visit,
So many secrets are in store.
Leave your car outside the ring-road,
Hop on a bus to start your tour.
Categories:
carlisle, urban,
Form:
Free verse
they came from miles to meet "Carlisle"-
the feline freak who won the lotto
in all their disbelief
that such a thing could truly be
many wondered how she'd done it
let 'em wonder was her motto
and until this furry day-
it remains a mystery!
Categories:
carlisle, funny
Form:
Ode
She had a masters degree,
from Trinity Cambridge,
was brokering deals in the city,
with overheard talk re. financial leverage.
Whilst I’d a diploma
from a,
“technical” college.
A photographic memory,
from heart she could recite,
the Shakespeare plays and
the complete periodic table,
and her port and whisky bottles had their own silver labels.
A no mortgage flat, Persian cat and a cleaner,
a holiday retreat on some remote Welsh peninsula.
but despite,
the disparity in background and mental capacity,
we clicked and hooked up and for a while,
lived,
quite lustfullly.
To survive, comfortably,
in her social circles,
I needed to eliminate some of the hurdles.
The barriers that doubtless would have stifled,
my chance of becoming,
economically entitled.
A list was produced, and included employment and personal grooming,
but my care free attitude,
Is what attracted her,
I imagined,
what she found appealing.
But lust is short term and knowing,
knowledge is power I began reading her own books and with time on my hands spent hour upon hour.
I read 1984, so not to be a bore,
at her parties.
I read to Kill a Mockingbird, so I would be heard,
at her parties.
I read The Great Gatsby, because I had to be,
at her parties.
I read Death of a Salesman,
to be life and soul,
at her parties.
I read Great Expectations, to get
me out of situations,
at her parties.
I read The Grapes of Wrath, so they wouldn’t laugh,
at her parties.
I read Pride and Prejudice, to stop them extracting the piss,
at her parties.
I read Catcher in the Rye, so I could look people in the eye,
at her parties.
I read The adventures of Huckleberry Finn, just to fit in,
at her parties.
I read book after book,
but no one gave a flying f*** , about me,
at her parties.
Ironically after reading Gullivers travels,
almost as I closed the cover,
she told me to pack my bags.
It was all over.
I went up North,
got a job,
on a three month trial,
Coincidentally, as a trainee librarian,
at a private school,
near Carlisle.
The acceptance photograph displaying the Chancellor’s handshake,
new wife,village life
and my f*** you smile,
and a perfectly groomed new hair style.
Categories:
carlisle, angst, books, break up,
Form:
Prose Poetry
One big boom reverberates,
we shelter 'neath the railway bridge,
the swirling wind ensures we get a soaking anyway.
The Croal is roaring well above the watermark,
the nature lover in me hopes the smaller fish
will beat the flow and seek a sheltered cranny.
Peewits squeal, and wheel through softened skies,
as sunshine makes a welcome reappearance.
Drying out, we wait for trains,
our notebooks at the ready.
A record twenty-six come through,
some chug to local destinations,
others muscle by, non-stop,
to Carlisle and the Scottish Highlands.
We eat our sandwiches in silence,
underlining names and numbers.
Clambering up the embankment
and skittering down, as gravity
grabs then releases we fall in a heap,
and can't wait to do it again!
An impromptu game of catch,
throwing stones instead of tennis balls,
our laughter uncontrollable,
we trip and stagger home.
The warp and weft, the fabric of my youth
still reassures me with these moments of enduring truth.
Categories:
carlisle, children,
Form:
Prose Poetry
So much love my heart contains,
Baby, you're as beautiful as the summer rain.
It's been so long since we spoke last,
It's ended before it's begun, it's already past.
Though you were never mine, you cause me so much pain,
I cry alone in the summer rain.
I ask myself, "what in the world did I do,
And what can I do to be enough for you?"
What I feel in my heart is hard to explain,
It's like dancing in the summer rain.
The pain bruises and pierces, I cannot fight,
The way I feel when you're in my sight.
You don't love me, it's plain,
But still, I wait for you in the summer rain.
Inspired by: Belinda Carlisle, Summer Rain
Categories:
carlisle, heart, love, summer,
Form:
Weighs Up The Prize!
Skips, Steps, Strides, ..., Shine!
Star's Of The Avenue's,
Belinda's Might!
_______________
Belinda Carlisle, France and The Go Goes!
Categories:
carlisle, appreciation,
Form:
Ballad
Mae West's Room
Every hierarchy exists
dependent upon those below to support it.
Can it be any different with the gods,
when some are greater and some are less?
We all are gods and isn’t that the point
in Orwell’s book, ‘Ninety Eighty-Four’,
when he compares humans to pigs,
and couldn’t tell the difference?
“Some pigs are better than the rest.”
Or in other words, let me refer you to
Heller’s exposé, ‘Catch-22’, paraphrased,
“When you know both sides of the coin,
win, lose, or draw, Mae West said it best,
‘Why don’t you come up sometime and see me?’”
***
Notes:
Mary Jane West, aka Mae West, (1893-1980) was born during the Gay Nineties and enjoyed a career in the entertainment sector that spanned seven decades. She was a vaudeville performer, playwright, singer, Hollywood film actress, and screenwriter, and was idolized as a sex symbol during her career and considered very controversial.
One of her best known quotes comes from her play “Diamond Lil” written in 1928, which was adapted for the Hollywood film “She Done Him Wrong” in 1933. “Why don’t you come up sometime and see me?”
The quote inspired Arthur Swanstrom and Louis Alter to write the 1933 song “Come Up and See Me Sometime!” which was first recorded by Elsie Carlisle. The song went on to become Mae West’s signature song.
Categories:
carlisle, celebrity, sensual, sexy, surreal,
Form:
Verse
Honor God
Written By Miracle Man
August 28, 2021
Conquering fear,
I accomplish through faith,
Environment can determine the path we travel,
and where we are, often determines, who we are.
Too many don’t acknowledge God’s greatness,
and therefore can’t discern the hour’s lateness.
No one, save God, can feel what we’re feeling.
As a conservative Christian, I’m sick at heart,
over the problems our country faces.
But I believe defeat won’t come by another,
but if we fail, it will be because,
we’ve failed to honor Him.
“Show me the man you honor,
and I will know what kind of man you are.”
Thomas Carlisle
Categories:
carlisle, america, christian, god, life,
Form:
Free verse
Boston, city to see !
Hi mum, we're here in hotel room!
Drive was easy and smooth,
took us longer then we predict,
I guess people love to drive,
love to take a road!
then we stopped here and there,
took spme pictures along the way,
wait untill you see ,
I know you will love ,
as much as I do!
Then we stopped to eat,
it took a while to get food!
it took longer then we predict!
Boston, city to see!
It is so gourges and big
suprisingly clean,
then people ,
oh mum,
I feel like being back to Europe!
they actually talk and smile,
look at you and see you ,
not true you like her in Carlisle!
They pay you a complement ,even though
you have no make up on!
Not like in New York city
where they look down on you!
Then streets!
Full of pubs and bars,
and fancy restaurnt's!
Guess what mum!
Next time I'm takimg you with me!
Remembr the Cheers and Sam Malone?
We had diner at the same pub on 84 Bacon st!
Food was great,service even better!
The athmosphere ,the vibe ,the energy!
Oh mum!
Next time you're coming with me!
Then the Red socks Stadium!
Everyone is big fan here!
Wait untill you see what Ihave got for you!
I know,
You will love it as much as i do!
Traveled true eyes of my daughter's
Categories:
carlisle, city, daughter, love, travel,
Form:
Free verse