Best Bum Steer Poems | Poetry

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The Best Bum Steer Poems

 
Details | Bum Steer Poem | Create an image from this poem.

Camptown Races or Eh, That's a Joke, Son!

"Camptown Races sing this song, Do Dah! Do Dah!"
( sung incessantly by a certain, unique rooster.)

Henry Hawke: ( Sung to Holly Jolly Christmas:)
" I'll be there and back by sunset.
  There's a chicken there for me!
  Mom and Dad will be proud, you bet!
  when a chicken, they'll see!"

Henry: ( Sung to Arkansas Traveler:)
" I think that there's a chicken, yes, indeed!
  No need to check, that's a chicken, yes, siree!
  I know that that's a chicken , yes, indeed!
  Even though he has a snout for pecking at the seed!"

POW! ( cue woozy music.)

Barnyard Dog:
Hey, wait a minute, kid!
Have you flipped your lid!"

Henry:
" I hit you a good one and I'm the winner!
  Now come along with me! You're what's for dinner!"

Barnyard Dog:
" Eh, kid.. I'm a dog, don't you get it!
  Now, scram! Before I make you regret it!"

" Camptown races, sing this song..
  I say , I say.. it's not the words,
  son, it's the song
  It kind of.. eh, moves me along, err.."

Henry: 
" Oh, the shame!
  The family name!
  Life for me will never be the same!"

Barnyard Dog:
" Someone's given you the bum steer!"
He looks at Henry crying.
" Kind of gets you right here..
  Tell ya, what, kid!
  I'll give you a real clucker with all the feathers!
  Now listen to me, the sooner the better.." Pss. psst. pss..

"Camptown Races, Uhh, oh, I say, I say..
 What do we have here?!
 An unholy alli, alli alli, joining together.
 and the word is ..Beware!"
 I say, son!
 What are, what are you doing here
 in my little slice of paradise?!"

Henry:
"Ehh, Mister Cock-a-Doodle Doo..
 I'd turn around if I were you!"

"Heh, heh heh..
Obviously, this boy believes
that I was born yesterday
if not the day before!
Let me lead him on a little more.."

"Just what am I supposed to see, there, ehh, son?
The rising moon? The setting sun? Heh, Heh, Heh.."
BAM!
"I, I, I think I've been way layed.
I, I, better look for some shade.."
PLOP!
"That boy's got more nerve than a bum tooth!
ehh, that's a joke, son!
Miss Prissy! My my time has come too soon!"
Eeee, THUD!
Henry and Barnyard Dog( together.):
"Geez, What a maroon!"
Cue the Looney Tunes end music.
(" Eer.. That's your cue, son!")
" Can't find no good cartoon help these days!" THUD!
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!


Copyright © Gerard Keogh Jr. | Year Posted 2010

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Afraid of Trump

Afraid of Trump

Hope that Trump's history does disappear
Being President all of us now do fear
And sure thinks he is a know it all
He loves being in a bar room brawl
Definitely gave supporters a bum steer.

Jim Horn


Copyright © James Horn | Year Posted 2016




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History of Trump and More

History of Trump

Hope Trump's history does disappear
Being President we all of us did fear
Thinking he was always a know it all
Although brain appears to be small
He definitely did give us a bum steer.

Of Trump what will be word content
Never understood what he meant
And beyond belief it all had been
Also for certain he will sin again
He should give up and relent.

To Trump this is an introduction
Welcome to world of  seduction
Three times had been a groom
Two of them sealed their doom
Molest women has a compunction.

A while for Trump we had waited
For someone to have him sedated
And him be put out of his misery
Abusing woman has a long history
Told may fibs that were fabricated.

Regarding sex Trump is repulsive
And tells lies while being allusive
About him woman are complaining
A complete idiot sure is remaining
All evidence has been conclusive.

Trump in tower lives in an apartment
And abusing women we could prevent
Many women on him will be unloading
Become excited and on him exploding
Soon to hell we hope he will be sent.

Jim Horn


Copyright © James Horn | Year Posted 2016

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Road trip

I was travelling to Thursford, one day in the car
And I’d followed directions I’d got in the bar
We were on Caister road, was it left was it right
It was late, we were lost we were losing the light
We spotted a policeman and asked of him “pray,
Thursford my friend, can you tell me the way”
Well, he started to chuckle, he grinned then he laughed
Said “ you’ve listened to John, you’ve been pretty daft
It’s a good forty mile, you’ve had a bum steer
It’ll take you an hour, cos it’s nowhere near here”
So Johnny, old pal, your directions are crap
And, next time I go out I’m consulting a map


Copyright © John W Fenn | Year Posted 2011

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A Man's Downfall

When I read his story, it seemed quite funny. What did this guy do with all his money? He earned eighty million dollars during his athletic career. Somewhere on the road of life, he took a bum steer. He had two best friends from his television show. Both women took the man and gave him the heave-ho. It is not just a rainy day where this fellow is concerned. He’s enduring a hurricane, and he’s getting burned. He will not receive offers from any professional team. The man must get some other work, it would seem. From a news story found on AOL.


Copyright © Robert Pettit | Year Posted 2012

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Trump Be Sedated Horn Limerick

Trump Be Sedated Horn Limerick

All rules and regulations repudiated
Trump has been horrible and hated
From him have had a bum steer
Full of agony and much fear
Should leave us alone and be sedated.

Jim Horn




Copyright © James Horn | Year Posted 2016

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Hillary Is Here Horn Haiku

Hillary Is Here Horn Haiku

We all could be cured
If by Trump where never lured
By God were assured.

Learned there was a leak
So Trump we started to seek
Orange hair with red check.

Been given bum steer
Went away who we did fear
Hillary is here.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet


Copyright © James Horn | Year Posted 2016