Best Borden Poems

(Limerick)

When Lizzie (Borden) saw what she's done
Thought to herself that was so much fun
So she whack them again
And again and again
Then laughed aloud at what...

Read more of this work...

LIZZIE BORDEN

Poor miss Lizzie, a murderess acquitted, 
By a judgment’s ruling of her peers,
Yet command by histories theatrics.
Astound damsel, to the wealth’s elite,
A matron’s old...

Read more of this work...

Lizzie Borden Took an Axe

By Elton Camp

Family love often will subside
When there’s property to divide
Old Andy Borden’s second wife
Came to be a cause of much...

Read more of this work...

Borden’s milk had a gorgeous sidekick cartoon cow, Elsie.
In the Midwest we had Elsie dolls, Elsie curtains, Elsie pins.
I wanted Borden’s milk more than anything...

Read more of this work...

Each year as Christmas rolls around, as I buckle under the pressure and stress of shopping for gifts for people that already  have everything,...

Read more of this work...

David slings a rock
Cop holsters a glock, Lizzie Borden packs an axe
Mac he packs the knife, Billy battles with a club, Tommy’s gun is a...

Read more of this work...

"Smooth Big Cat"



He was one of those guys you just knew would be a dud. "Be nice", she said to herself.

She met him on the...

Read more of this work...

WESSON
GIVES A LESSON
WITH   A   .357
DAVID SLINGS A ROCK
COP HOLSTERS A GLOCK
LIZZY BORDEN PACKS AN AXE
MAC HE PACKS THE KNIFE
BILLY BATTLES WITH...

Read more of this work...

I am a chocolate milk child of Scooby-Doo Saturdays
The leggings-clad, laced-gloved Material Girl teenager
Who will soon be a half-century
Who is mother to no son or...

Read more of this work...

.          We worked it out on paper and realized if we saved our ten cents a...

Read more of this work...

Well, here I am again, with my tales from the night before.
Just when you thought you heard it all, here I am with more.
Remember back...

Read more of this work...

Lizzie Borden took an axe, 
And killed the man from the income tax
When she saw what she had done, 
She went off to kill another...

Read more of this work...

i.
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse.
My wife and son lay silent, all tucked...

Read more of this work...

Oh dear lord

What will we do

If we get stuck with

President Clinton - Part two!


The people of this country

Will get what they deserve.

If they are foolish...

Read more of this work...

used for thousands of years to
cut down trees & then to chop them up &
then slice and dice them into
everything from mulch to boards used...

Read more of this work...