Best Benz Poems
In the rundown little house where her family currently lives,
the fourteen-year old glances obediently at her glaring daddy,
nodding her head in quiet compliance
to his usual horrible demands of her for the evening.
Not to acquiesce would incur his utter wrath,
and that is something she has learned well by now to avoid.
Things are not like the old days, when she was twelve,
feeling so lost, and he would lavish her with little gifts:
bracelets with charms, cute purses, chocolate candies. . .
With warm aqua eyes, he’d smile his approval
as she whirled around the room, modeling a pretty dress for him.
In those days when her world had fallen apart, he’d taken her in.
His voice would softly soothe her then, chasing away her every fear.
Back to reality. Daddy’s voice now is laced with menace.
And his eyes are ice blue marbles staring through her.
“Do what wifey says,” he instructs her at the door
as she leaves with four other sisters and the one of legal age, her sister-wifey.
Leaning in to her, his breath like chill wind on her nape, he whispers,
“And you better be VERY good with your dates this time.”
The young girl, in high heels, slit skirt, and heavy makeup, has exited the door
when her daddy barks commands to his helper in the living room, and then
Daddy exits too, but through the garage, where a Mercedes Benz is parked.
He drives alone, a short trip across town to his other house -
the one with manicured lawn and garden and a large pool out back -
the large beautiful house where a real wife and a real daughter
await him.
“How was your day?” his beautiful young wife gushes
as he crosses the threshold in his expensive business suit.
“Oh, just another day at the office,” he quips,
leaning in to give her a soft kiss. Then his young daughter
comes bounding down the stairs, broadly grinning.
“Daddy, look at the new dress you bought me!”
She twirls with adolescent glee.
The man, with blue eyes dancing, looks his fourteen-year-old daughter
up and down. “Sweetie, you know I don’t like you wearing lipstick yet.”
“Oh, Daddy,” she teases, “I’ll be dating soon.”
“Afraid not,” he lovingly chides her. “Those boys will just have to wait
at least for two more years. For now, you are Daddy's little girl."
Categories:
benz, family, slavery, , cute,
Form:
Narrative
Fun With Puns*
A shepherd and his sheep once took
A shortcut across a frozen brook
The owner charged a very high price
For pulling the wool over his ice
I didn't know if I were a wigwam or tepee
So I was really depressed and sort of weepy
Then a psychiatrist with very good sense
Explained I was just a couple of tents
Benny was rescued from a terrible place
And lived out his life in a silver vase
Thus he was a guy who finally learned
That a Benny saved is a Benny urned
A man bought an expensive new car
And stopped for some drinks at a local bar
Soon after he picked up some of his friends
Who quickly learned how a Mercedes Benz
Snow White felt weak and unsteady
When her photographs weren’t ready
She chewed on some gum and felt less glum
Certain someday soon her prints would come
Palm fronds are very relaxative
Swallow them; they’re a very good laxative
They won’t hurt you; they’re not venomous
So, with fronds like those, who needs enemas
It would be nice to have four more puns
Because a total of ten would be fun
Maybe one of them upon humor depended
Or it's very possible that no pun in ten did
*Of course, I would have given credit to the authors of these puns, but they are unknown.
Categories:
benz, fun, humor, word play,
Form:
Rhyme
broad shoulders, six foot three
Rolex, Stacey Adams
suit by Armani
and she said yes
soft spoken, warm hands
piercing eyes, a Harvard degree
business law
and she said yes, yes
a dance
to Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
witty, charming, a nightcap
and she said yes, yes, yes
Mercedes Benz, Pacific Ocean
gated community, ten thousand square feet
pool, sauna, jacuzzi
and she said yes, yes, yes, yes
John Coltrane caressed the ears
Dom Perignon the bloodstream
kissed with the eyes, then the lips
and she said yes, yes, yes, yes, yes
wait, wait
grabbed her, cursed her, rippped her dress
slapped her, groped her, pinned her
mounted her, took her
and she cried no, no, no, no, no–no
Categories:
benz, power,
Form:
Free verse
Uniwest
Perceived as crown from heavens, mini kingdom of isolated tribes. Its beauty is painted in the wall of beholders eyes. The story of ancient Biblical thoughts. Kingdom of named after stones. Mahikeng camp of jacks and jelly, chain of Gladiator, Bichua Italy land belong to Spartacus. Roman-jungle of miracle.
It’s Powerful and dictatorship is well known by its five kingdoms. Its status is spotted like United States Doll er-sin in every vision. Its mission is preaching keys that opens kingdom of paradise, Mount Kilimanjaro Glory of success.
Its five discipline disciple impregnate every prostitute found on its street, through martial arts. Exam constitute of justice and true. Power and selection of murder. Agle Janam Mohe king of kings’ shaka to Zulu. Well protected like language Setswana. Uniwest; its kingdom have eleven department of prison.
Start with James entertainment, gift given to Lional messie. Ikanlha, Dr Mandela residence to Hopewell till lost in city prison. Jail of education as a mother of children who need guidance. Laws of success, numbering and commence is their daily bread while agricultural science and technology glorify their success bone with china.
Mortal salute your beauty, oh uniwest coronet. Your kingdom is spread with Fresh active juveniles of Adam and Eve pitch. Crowded bash, event of the year. Sasko bread at its best political success. “Cheese to new comers” Enjoy Full years of searching for key to you Final year to success. Let’s see life to our last journey speed like “Benz” car of a dream: speech from the next president. African boy, Benz I will drive at graduation parliament of Uniwest.
Categories:
benz, business, community, culture, education,
Form:
Alliteration
(Froggy)
His big crooked smile; the bump on his nose;
His extra large feet with short stubby toes.
Eyes sort of popping beneath eyebrows bushy;
A spare tire middle with such a small tushy!
His loud guitar music; his funny guffaw;
His love poems so cheesy that fill her with awe;
His spending too much to save any money
Because he likes always pleasing his honey.
More froggy than prince, and odder than odd,
But that’s what she loves; he’s perfectly flawed.
(The Prince)
His brilliant white teeth; the cleft in his chin;
The beautiful body; the unblemished skin.
His elegant style; his baby blue eyes,
Manicured nails, costly suits and nice ties.
His house and his Benz; his deep golden tan:
All proof he’s a go-getting clever young man.
The many smart things to the right people said;
His time at the office so he’ll get ahead.
So seemingly flawless he just can’t see why
His girlfriend ran off with that flawed froggy guy!
For SKAT!
Categories:
benz, funny
Form:
Couplet
Seriously?
You drive a Benz with chrome plated wheels,
then from the government you continue to steal,
I wonder if you’ll ever really know how it feels,
to be so hungry and not get approved for food assistance-
Seriously? Luxury living with no room for intolerable resistance.
Seriously?
You beg for forgiveness when you end a life with abortion,
when the man you thought loved you shows extortion-
There are couples out there who would adopt an orphan,
with a loving man becoming a father with his wife,
Seriously? How could you even comprehend ending a life?
Seriously?
You’re perfectly healthy on the couch with work capability,
yet you continue to collect unwarranted disability-
You claim all you deserve is secure financial stability,
when the veterans of war get denied such extravagance-
Seriously? You claim intelligence but suffer from arrogance.
Seriously?
Remember finishing your plate before leaving the table?
Well, be grateful you have food, so many are unable.
People are starving in streets with finances unstable,
yet you waste food like it’s always to be expected-
Seriously? On the streets poverty stricken families are rejected.
Seriously?
You build a second gym in the grade school you attended,
making the poor school in Detroit feel abandoned and offended-
Government assistance for education should be recommended,
teachers getting paid nothing for furthering education-
Seriously? These needy children suffer in silent desperation.
But…seriously…
What has this nonsensical world resorted to?
Making promises and not following through.
February 2, 2017
Categories:
benz, abortion, abuse, corruption, life,
Form:
Rhyme
I took my periodic stroll through the local antique store today.
I stumbled over things and stepped 'round clutter to make my way.
I looked for clocks, found none, but saw many things I could do without,
And those are the things that I propose to tell you all about.
There was an old buggy wheel - I could see no use for that.
I saw horse collars, washboards and someone's stuffed Angora cat.
On the wall was a photo of a Victorian guy glaring back at me.
Also displayed was a chamber pot and a scraggly Christmas tree!
What use have I for a manure fork or hubcaps for a '47 Dodge,
Or a shaggy buffalo robe or shriveled scalps from an Indian lodge?
Displayed were coffee grinders and old Prince Albert tobacco cans,
A portrait of Napoleon and a hood ornament for a '37 Mercedes Benz!
Hanging on a clothes rack was an old soldier's moth-eaten uniform.
I have no need for a hornet's nest that once held and angry swarm.
Though I found many things I could do without, not so my spouse!
She bought a cart full of gimcracks and trumpery to clutter up the house!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
First Place in Black Eyed Susan's "Antique" Contest - May 2014
Categories:
benz, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
Winning millions, Fred acted insane,
Raced his new Benz and crashed in the rain.
All that money he won
Went for surgeries done
To repair both his body and brain!
For Susan Burch's
Lottery Ticket Limerick Poetry Contest
Categories:
benz, funny,
Form:
Limerick
What's worth more a wise and loving heart,
or a Mercedes Benz? I guess it depends!
On your view of life and what really matters
Are your values more valuable than their wrappers?
What's worth more a mansion on a hill,
or a fathers time and attention?
Compassion, kindness, understanding,
or a diamond ring?
Material things,what lasting joy do they bring?
What's better, to be able to,
count on the person who counts the cost,
or count the money?
It's been said that " money can't buy happiness",
that's true, but sadness costs more.
Remember this,
material things are evanescent,
but a loving heart,
is ever present.
Death may kill a person, but loving memories never die.
Death cannot kill loving memories,
but, material things vanish,within centuries.
Better to live your legacy with them
than to leave your legacy to them.
John Derek Hamilton November 30, 2015
Categories:
benz, dad, family, happiness, inspirational,
Form:
Free verse
The Scene:
An explosion!
From those picking.. limbs tear
cabbages and cucumbers
combing children's hair
mixing with the backseat
of a zealot's Mercedes Benz
the gunpowder, smells of lamb,
and cotton, all blend
into a bitter, woolen,
prayerful smoldering
the faces, each one,
a sorrowful gurgling..
God sniffs, looking puzzled..
as usual, murmuring
'Why is this happening?
All this crumbling and burning!
Am I the god of Job,
of the savior foretold,
of the maiden unrobed,
of the crocodile's fold?'
'I created them all,
the most beautiful of races,
with a worn, savage love
for me in dry places,
I gave them this desert,
the Sirocco, sand dunes
where they hopelessly
struggle above catacombs
amid these car bombings,
and gun strapping martyrs
that blowup in my face
and all reason in shatters..'
'Stop it! stop!'
God moans, and he chatters
but a look in his face
tells you it doesn't matter..
I ask, 'Lord, why can't you
let good people live?
The fools we elected
can you ever forgive?
We all watch in horror,
and while your adored
the people in Dar fur
are swept up by warlords..'
(God's reply)
"Did you create pyramids,
were you Ramses slave,
do you think I look forward
to another small grave?
Have you fought in wars
when you didn't agree,
Who decides who wins
when they all pray to me?
It takes a whole village
to pull just one trigger
Womens wages are set by
Walmart's sale sticker
your planet is warming,
no snow packs for farming
bringing unwelcome guests
like mosquito borne pests,
greenhouse unrest, protecting
your own, consuming the rest.
I have eyes, I see everything
you never did, I have ears,
I hear empty words,
all things unsaid.. today's living,
may be tomorrows dead.."
(these are really my words, not God's, who I fear
is considering a reprise of the flood this year..)
Categories:
benz, faithpeople, people, planet,
Form:
Rhyme
It's the simple things in life that matter,
Not walking around trying to flatter.
It's about the moments that take our breathe away,
That makes you want to stay.
We tend to forget about a kiss,
From the one you love when it's them you missed.
Express your feelings by making them a card,
Let them know that their heart you'll always guard.
Watch a movie with your love,
We don't have to go out to a bar or club.
Cuddle up on a cold day talking about everything,
While your heads on their chest listening to their heart beating.
We don't need a mansion or castle,
Just too much of a hassle.
We don't need to buy an island,
We don't need all the riches and diamonds.
A compliment to make their day,
Because you love them in so many ways.
Give them a hug when they're sad,
I bet it will make them glad.
All I ask for is some attention,
From my man that understands passion.
A picnic in the park,
Just to keep that spark.
A bubble bath to show you care,
That's how you make your love aware.
We don't need a lexus or benz,
Just love that's real not pretend.
Making your girl feel like she's important,
Like she's needed and wanted.
Make her favorite dinner one night,
Candles lit sets the mood just right.
Stop wasting time on fashion,
Because in his eyes you're the most beautiful thing he'd ever imagine.
A good husband a place to call home,
So after a long day at work where your love can roam.
A home where we can have our kids and start our own family,
Where we can both live forever happily.
January 16, 2014
~The One and Only~
Categories:
benz, life,
Form:
Sonnet
Safe, protected, free, just, wealthy.
"You're safe in America."
"Our government will protect you."
"We have the most just system in the world."
"America is the wealthiest nation."
Welcome to the United States,
where safety is police brutality against
our own citizens; where the food we
eat is pumped full of poison; where
our guns are taken from us to keep us
"safe", when the enemy is on the home front.
Welcome to the Land of the Brave,
where men and women lose their lives
over another nation's resource, even though we've
got the technology to keep them home; where
a man turning into a woman is more
important than hundreds dying in an earthquake.
Welcome to the Land of the Free,
where free will and creativity is
frowned upon and conformity is the
latest trend; where its citizen's opinions
go straight to the garbage while those
already in power continue making decisions.
Come on over to the USA,
where child molesters serve less time
in prison than those caught with a plant;
where you can be arrested simply because
your skin is a different tone; where a mother that
killed her child got away with a slap on the wrist.
Make a trip to the wealthiest nation,
where one percent of the population holds
every cent, while homelessness is at an
all time high; where religion means no
taxes, and it costs an entire years pay
just to afford a higher education.
Make your way to the Land of the Corrupt,
where the War on Terror is a scam,
and our nation's biggest tragedy was a planned attack;
where the poor are forced to pay taxes with
money they don't have, while the wealthy
gloat in flashy suits and Mercedes Benz.
Don't eat anymore out of their greedy hands.
Take your freedom back.
House our homeless.
Block out the media, it's an illusion.
Stop fighting for a country that wants you to die.
It's time to make a change.
Categories:
benz, america, betrayal, business, corruption,
Form:
Free verse
He sees it gleaming on the side of the road
Looks at it closely…pleased it isn’t a toad
Ever so blissful is that strapping young buck
He can’t resist so picks up the puck
The lad brings the puck on his very first date
Places it on the dash…picks her up at eight
She looks at him playfully, lust fills her eyes
Ten minutes later, oh, the passionate cries!
He gets a call from a probate attorney
Puck at his side, hears about old Aunt Bernie
Last time she visited she left so irate
Yet he’s sole heir to her lavish estate!
He goes to make a ‘deal’ on Monte Hall’s show
Clutches the puck…dressed as an emo scarecrow
Instead of door one that hides twelve pregnant hens…
He picks door two and drives away in a Benz
He thought he’d dabble in the market…why not?
He tosses up the puck…it lands on a spot
Buys a ton against advice from his adviser
The next week the corp. gets bought out by Pfizer!
The young gun opts to head off to Sin City
Smiling, he sings a joyful little ditty
He jets to the bank and cleans out his accounts
He even hawks the Benz since he has no doubts
He wanders over to the elaborate wheel
He kisses the puck…was this ever surreal!
He boldly pushes in the hefty chip stack
Recklessly placing his whole fortune…on black
You probably want to know how things turned out
Did he hit big…is he off to lounge about?
While I won’t exactly divulge the young lad’s fate…
Let’s say the puck now rests…on the bed of the lake!
Categories:
benz, people, emo,
Form:
Light Verse
My wife joined yoga to stretch out her core;
Though extreme moves sometimes made her holler.
Yet when they raised fees, it hurt a lot more,
So she now has to stretch out a dollar.
Downward Dog used to give satisfaction,
But her teacher has tightened the collar.
When before, body and mind felt as one,
Now she’s training how to stretch a dollar.
She enjoyed spending time with her fit friends
To become a true yoga follower,
But ever since her teach bought a new Benz,
My wife spends more time stretching a dollar.
After years she became one of the pros,
So that I call her, my yoga scholar,
But now she can’t rise up from a Corpse Pose;
It can be deadly stretching a dollar.
Her last session ended with Namaste,
Yet our budget has not gotten smaller.
Since deciding at yoga, she must stay,
Because she learned how to stretch that dollar.
Categories:
benz, health, humorous, wife, wife,
Form:
Iambic Pentameter
I took my periodic stroll through the local antique store today.
I stumbled over things and stepped 'round clutter to make my way!
I looked for clocks - found none, but saw many things I could do without,
And those are the things that I propose to tell you all about!
There was an old buggy wheel - I could see no use for that!
I saw horse collars, washboards and someone's stuffed Angora cat.
Hanging on the wall was an austere Victorian guy glaring back at me.
Prominently displayed was a chamber pot and scraggly Christmas tree!
What use have I for a manure fork or hubcaps for a '47 Dodge,
Or a shaggy buffalo robe or shriveled scalps from an Indian lodge!
Displayed were empty cigar boxes and empty Prince Albert cans,
A portrait of Napoleon and hood ornament for a '27 Mercedes Benz!
I saw a set of 1920 Brittanica Encyclopedias and a Corona typewriter,
Well-worn snowshoes, a tuning fork and strangely, a bishop's mitre!
Hanging on a clothes rack was an old soldier's moth-eaten uniform.
What on earth would I do with a hornet's nest once hosting an angry swarm!
Leaning against a wall was a hood and bumper for a '37 Ford Tudor.
On a shelf was a gas mask and tin helmet from the First World War!
Though I found many things I could do without, not so with my spouse!
She bought a cart full of gimcracks and trumpery to clutter up the house!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Categories:
benz, funny, old, old,
Form:
Rhyme