Best Bejesus Poems

Halloween Treat

This
Cold night
Of such fright—
This Halloween
Scares the Bejesus
Out of me for sure since
I fear being the fresh treat
For the Devil’s big appetite,
And his desire to consume my soul!
Old Hob shall see my crucifix tonight!

Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved,
September 22, 2015 (Etheree)...

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if but and also
all ran down a street
whose cousin’s mother’s sister
legalized love’s distant dream

with in on and beyond 
following closely after
a key hole of time’s future now
spooked bejesus out of bounds

when shoes string along
black wholes green with envy turn
worms come out of closets
knots know not...

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Awareness about behavior,
present since mine days of yore
an unswerving allie analogous
to peacekeeper ending civil war
belated insight suddenly realized

(better late than never) doth underscore
incumbent proactive communication stance
belatedly bestowed omnipotent awareness
crucial fostering ingredient to shore
maternal bond above

bejesus ear splitting roar
I admit regret (to self), there
dost belie suppressed...

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FATE?
Some say that retribution's fine, 
high intervention seems divine. 
The spark of lightning's suffered break, 
no satisfaction do I take, 
coincidence doth make this rhyme. 
by vk4pr Don

Or how a knockers early 1990 8088, 10 megahertz computer got scorched 
by lightening years ago when i...

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(alternately titled no particular reason:
bring unto “fake” trumpeting Caesar
seven salad dressings from deep freezer
and lettuce deign at your plea azure.)

Graced with boyish good looks,
innocence and naiveté to boot,
an especial loathing toward me
chicken legs re: spindleshanks

(which serve as laughingstock
of dis hair reed ole coot)
oft times clad...

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Hey Feller Where You Goin'
By Roy Merritt

Every time he went by that graveyard 
He would whistle a soothing tune
He wanted to get past that place
And he wanted to do it soon 
He didn’t like goin’ by there
As he walked about this town
He didn’t like goin’...

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(alternately titled random axe of violence)

I calculated an average 
of ~10.16.... deaths per year 
of mass school shootings since Columbine, 
a morbid benchmark where,

iGen / Gen Z 1995 - 2012 bore significant hit,
now students require armed guards to learn - veer
really within purportedly "safe places",...

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An Introduction to Max
 
Hi, I am a mastiff cross and my name is Max. To be precise it’s Magical Maxi the Wonder Dog but you can call me Max. That’s not to say I possess magical powers as such but I can make myself...

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The Path To Least Resistance - 
By: Sue S. Side

Amp pull ease just sparked insight,
I suddenly became aware,
(actually self actualization
came ohm to roost - dare
ring with mighty stir since this

Earthling orbited thru the atmosphere
back in time many a passing,
quickening, and rip snorting year),
how my current...

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a fellow atheist who was making a peanut-butter & jelly sandwich one afternoon
while her pesky neighbor continued to make noises on the other side of the paper-thin
walls 
(annoying the bejesus out of her),
gripped the butter knife in her hand
letting all the murderous fantasies enter
(how easily...

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Inextricably rooted with hair fixation

As a lad in grade school,
yours truly, (a diminutive, intuitive,
oversensitive, and vegetative potato head kid,
whose voice exhibited
a severe nasal twang)
felt envious at other boys,
especially those young bucks
who sported budding antlers
plus thick thatch of hair.

Even now as a grown man
of three score...

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You know how cheese
Sometimes gets moldy and blue?
How milk oftimes  curdles
And smells bad too?

How babies (tho’ cute)
Love to be cuddled
But every so often
Carry a definite phew?

How dogs (and cats)
Our beloved companions
Sometimes develop a certain aura
And reek to high Heaven?

How certain cheeses
Can stink like bejesus
Like...

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Impossible mission, nonetheless
eschatological, diabolical, critical...
dire straits betokens armageddon.

Come Tuesday, November 3, 2020
mandatory voting obligation to oust
horrible malevolent commander in chief.

Spanish and English writing on border wall
bespeaks impending apocalyptic windfall
weapons of mass destruction concomitant ashfall
brinkmanship ticks doomsday clock, hence the call
muster civilians and military troops coup...

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Though I wrote no book 
attention summoned to look 
at following--->>>

Urgent message – to send Mephistophelian madman back to stone age

predicated upon past and present, I gauge
will offer ogre golden opportunity 
to rewrite anarchistic playbook page
with rightist extremist to rage
usurping future political stage
cuz civil war...

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I dream of Rome;
but I’ve never been there
and I never will.
These things about Saints,
scare the bejesus out of me.

In the eternal dance
of men and Saints,
men always get hurt,
some even die.

The lucky ones
are set to rest,
the others are
the unrest in this world.

And the Saints are always...

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