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Bass Ackwards by Hauser , Mike

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The Best Bass Ackwards Poems

Details | Bass Ackwards Poem |

Trying Something New

Limerick Gimmerick
Jason of Pendleton
Tried double-dactyls while
Fearing the worst.

Uh-oh-spaghetti-o!
They're all bass-ackwards cuz
He's used to anapest
(Dactyls reversed).

Details | Bass Ackwards Poem |

Bass Ackwards

Everything now is bass ackwards
Nothing is the same
Up is down, in is out
Early is now late

Where we end at the beginning 
Right out the starting gate
Tomorrow is the day before
And the day before was yesterday

All that's left in what was right
Is not so clearly seen
What was once considered outside
Is now the in between

What used to pass for happy
Now comes off more than sad
And every day of the week 
Is like a Wednesday night gone bad

We could talk about it
But what is there to say
When everything is bass ackwards
And it's sure to stay that way

Details | Bass Ackwards Poem |

FLY RIGHT HE SAID

Straighten up -
Fly right-
My canvass queen.
You are not a butterfly
that flickers and flouts
all about,
Flesh muse:
I can't use
you as your
drunken monkey,
has arisen bickering about
 as you shout,
consumed of stout.
Wanting to
capture your
divine essence.
While you are
full of Spirits
and quite sprite.
I need you - to sober
up and fly right,
sit tight.
Distorted by the gin
The features
of your chin, alas
you appear crass,
need only a smile.
Come again tomorrow
Without the hyena
Countenance of your sass.
You pose bass-ackwards;
Picture how silly you laugh.
Young and beautiful;
Without the jaded
eyes and sorrowed
brow, sit pretty for me
fittingly, in your high rank,
return to your class.