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Best As All Get Out Poems | Poetry

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The Best As All Get Out Poems

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My Old Jalopy

Just had to buy a new battery For my seven year old beat up jalopy Actually I'm exaggerating just a little As cars go it's a very fine copy A four door sedan with all the extras And a dashboard readout to die for Numbers as big as all get out Couldn't really ask for much more But sure can't fool police officers Saying you didn't notice your speed "If you've trouble reading those big numbers Blindness is what you should plead" Aside from that, the time has come Maybe a Porsche or even a Rolls Royce More likely a stylish Mini Cooper Will most likely be my first choice Nice dream, silly boy, now back to reality You're not a teenager any more Better grow up, stop living in the past Grim Reaper's knocking at the door! © Jack Ellison 2014

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2014

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Life Ain't Fair

Was so excited to hear some news From our dear friends Lynda and Al About to embark on an exciting cruise What could possibly go afoul Lynda's had Parkinsons for many years Needs a wheelchair to get around Al was faithfully pushing her along A bump and Lynda went down! Tragedy struck without any warning Ninety minutes aboard the ship Landed on her arm breaking her wrist Put an end to their exciting trip Imagine all the pain Lynda endured As if she hasn't suffered enough X-rays showed her wrist was shattered Recovery was going to be tough Some people happily dance through life As healthy as all get out Others are prone to great misfortune To Lynda that's what life's all about! © Jack Ellison 2013

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2013

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Legend of Bog Hollow

They’d crossed the great divide, to the other side of the ‘Oh My God River’.
Our Trolls were struck by the ‘Bridge Too Far’, it set their hearts, to quiver.
Yes, their curiosity and their great big Troll hearts; were pounding all a twitter.
Well, surely you must see, it’s a bridge; they are Trolls, after all! So go figure!
And you must understand the mighty ‘Oh My God River” is so very wide… 
That when on the bridge… You can’t see… not even close…to other side…
Where mists, run so very deep, that your sanity will never again, be found.
I ask you? How could a Troll not see this as anything, but absolutely profound!

Under the bridge, lies scary Bog Hollow, covered in mists and a smothering fog.
There, the Legend says, lies a monster supreme, both ancient and old, in the bog.
Scary as all get out… We have always… always been… Very, thoroughly told.
Its’ said: curiosity is both a scary and most dangerous thing when it’s on crusade.
And the Trolls and Dragon have it a plenty, in great big gobs… and great spades.
Late one night, Dragon and the Trolls snuck out of the house, as my story goes…
A clean get-a-way… on a moonless night to check this all out… But one by one…
The Trolls would go into the mist, and disappear… F.O.R.E.V.E.R!!! I shiver!!! 

As Dragon was about to be left alone, a truck came careening from the fog and mist.
On the narrow bridge the last two Trolls, were thrown into the muck, and the Goop.
They came up, covered in mud, until the mist hit. One moment there, the next gone! 
Dragon worried: OH what was he to do? Well, that was answered, quickly enough.
Dragon was bumped by a truck and thrown onto its top! Clinging and screaming!
As the truck careened about… Rounding a tight corner…Dragon was flung off.
He continued to scream as he flew all the way home. Terrified, near almost to death!
He knew the Bog Monster had got them! Little did he know, that the dear Trolls…

Had made friends with the monster, and were enjoying the bog’s great ambiance. 
The story continues… as Dragon got home, he grabbed Grandpa Troll’s big hand.
Jumping up and down, he yelled, ‘The Bog Monster had taken his beloved Trolls!’ 
Saying, ‘He had a great big tongue, a big mouth, and humongous great, green hand!
We ran to the spot, with the usual flashlight in hand, and were pulled in the bog!
For a fun filled mud bath! … By the Hulk and his lovely, pet Beelzebub Frog.
Yep… We’d all found the Monster of Bog Hollow, as we all partied away!
The next day the driver would spread the word, that as he passed the bog…

The monster had screamed, jumped upon his truck… and tried to take him…
Over and down… In the end, he’d escaped by shaking off the monster’s hand.
The great story would be passed around, by the local town, of Nodding-Off-Ham,
Wanting to keep people away and them, forever, both serene and quite sane…
They would perpetuate the legend just the same, and the moral they would quote?
“Believe the myths of the Monster of Bogs Hollow, always run the other way.”
Especially since Trolls have now joined him, setting up a toll bridge along, its way.

Written by Michael & Carol Eastman 6-20-2016

National Geo News: Beezeabufo, Frog from Hell. 75 Million year old Madagascar giant horned frog. Weighed 10 pounds, size of a beach ball, believed to have killed hatchling dinosaurs. An aggressive ambush predator, grabbing anything passing by him. Also called the Pac-Man Frog.

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2016

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Upbeat You Say

It's a brand new day that lies ahead Fame and fortune or heartaches instead Each new day, it remains to be seen Happy or sad or a place in between You can't just leave it to fate every day Your approach is key, you do have a say The same old story bout good versus evil Bout ying and yang, calm or upheaval No one's mastered this up and down stuff We try our best so that's surely enough What more can we do, just smile and say We're happy as all get out every damn day Heard it a lot but it's still true as ever Your approach is key, it's how we measure So as I proclaimed at the start of this poem Just plug away till the cows come home! © Jack Ellison 2013

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2013

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Jazz And Pizzazz

Some call me silly That may be the case But I don't have ulcers No lines on my face Dancing through life No worries no cares Live every moment With passion and flair Ain't no great mystery It's as simple as pie Trust in the future Trust in your “I” Keep moving forward With jazz and pizzazz Pay no attention To the razzamatazz So take this advice I'm offering my friend It don't take much effort Pays great dividends Some call me silly That's possibly true But happy as all get out How about you? © Jack Ellison 2013

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2013

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Heaven's Waiting Room

In our great little retirement community They're dropping like flies around me Need to break free, must get out this place It's Heaven's Waiting Room you see Don't matter if you're healthy as all get out The grim reaper knows where you live He's as anxious as hell to whisk you away And you really have just one life to give So ignore the guy that's waiting at the door Do all the things you've always wanted Relentlessly time keeps marching forward It's progress remains undaunted Keep ahead of the game, of that final day Laugh at that guy with the sickle Tell him you'll call when your good and ready This existence can be oh so fickle © Jack Ellison 2013

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2013

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Getting Out

A walk in the park on a cool summer morning Refreshing as all “get out” Those last two words actually do say it all “Getting out” is what's life's all about If we're stuck in front of a keyboard all day We miss the glories of nature The smells, the sunshine, the cool summer breeze The first crisp snow of December Old Mother Nature in her multitude of pleasures Never fails to impress us each day No other feeling is quite so intense As the smell of some new mown hay What I'm saying is this plain and simple Be thankful for every day given Eventually the pleasures you once experienced Will vanish as onward we're driven A walk in the park on a cool summer morning Refreshing as all “get out” © Jack Ellison 2013

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2013

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I Pulled Through

Lying in the fetal position
On my bathroom floor
Skin crawling, hurting, in pain
Yet I still wanted more
I craved for more of the crack
That had me in this state
For myself and everyone who loved me
I felt nothing but contempt and hate
Still they tried to help me
Overcome my drug addiction
They tried to make me understand 
That life is real and not fiction
Crack is a messed up chemical
It made me feel completely insane
It made me not give a darn about 
My life or anything
The first time I used crack I got hooked
For me that one tug off the pipe was
The only tug it took 
I allowed crack to take me to a place
Where I thought I couldn’t come back from
Because I was so very ashamed of 
Who I’d allowed myself to become
I finally understood that getting high was no
Longer something I wanted to do - so
I made the decision to save my life knowing that
This was something that only I could do
It was hard as all get out, and long overdue 
But by the Grace of God
I finally pulled through.
And So Can You!

Copyright © Janice Scott | Year Posted 2008

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Wooly Monsters

My dreams are wooly mammoths
monstrous beings with tusks
as long as a man's arms,
eyes as big as saucers
and hairy as all get out.

My dreams are prehistoric,
some small genetic chain
in a stem cell linking me
to where we were once
when the wooly beast
stuck his head into
our shelter, frightening
the children, fretting
the women.

The Shaman drew his likeness
on the wall of the cave
so we could attack him with sticks.

I hope the hunters will kill him
soon, or subdue him shortly.

Copyright © Barbara Cotter | Year Posted 2007

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Golden Retrievers

Golden Retrievers are fantastic pets The friendliest animals on the planet I'll bet Happy as all get out Absolutely no doubt Our Annie is the greatest, really no sweat

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2017

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What A Town

Down here in this little country

Everybody friendly

No, I don’t think so

On the corner of vine and north
Sit’s a crack head

Asking for spare change

To buy some food

When they spot clear out, I
Think he forgets

Or the store ran off and said
That is bad for his business
Go away..

For he is here at Fred’s asking
For the same

Can you spare a dollar if not a

I’m hunger ma am

Do you have a dime

Did I see you a minute ago

No ma am I’d been here all

Did I see you cross town on
Leila Street, 

No, ma am I’d been here all


You buy food with this extra

Yes, ma am I will

He had to forget cause he
Was a she, 

And she bend over her balled
Up money fail on the ground

My impression was “Oh My

Her bank roll is larger than

Hey, Carla give me my 2 dollars 

The 1 I gave you on vine and

And the 1 I just handed to you

I think I will move to another town
She said

Cause these old country tight people
Is  stuck up as  all get out..

There is no moral to this story 

If you come upon a crack head
Just be aware this maybe their

He/she plays

To steal and cheat, scam and play
Many tricks

Just to get a dollar

While the player is getting everybody

And driving a brand new Tahoe and
You are in a bat mobile


Trying to be cool

Copyright © Carolyn Sears | Year Posted 2008

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My Secret

Consider myself one of the fortunate ones At my advanced age, never been under the gun Healthy as all get out Yee haw wanna shout If I knew the secret, I'd tell all you bums

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2018

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Alone In The Dungeon

Alone in the dungeon, I am furious with the them’s, the they’s, the experts, the teacher, my cousin, the snitch, my classmates, and especially my parents for they are the ones who ruined things for me.
If they had left me alone, not tormented me, not called me, not texted me, not lured me into talking back to my parents, if they had simply let me be, I would be outside playing second base.
I would have grown up to be fantastic, terrific, stunningly successful, powerfully respected, but all hope for that kind of life is gone now. And so is the sun, which means I have been in this dungeon for at least two hours without my tablet, or my computer, or my I-pad or TV set or anything fun to do.
But no. They could not leave me alone. They had to bug me. Learn your math facts, eat your fruit, do not hang from the top of the slide and kick your feet over your cousin’s head.  So here I sit, grounded, and mad, and disappointed.  When was the last time I cried? I feel the tears come, and I hate them all a bit more. All of those snitches, especially that teacher snitch.  I can hear my friend John outside, yelling bye to my other friends. I struggle to hear the other’s voices, but they are not heard.  I bet they got stupid Roger to play second base, and that really makes me mad.
I am so danged angry at my parents and that snitch teacher, and my snitch cousin, who should have backed me up, but did not, and everybody else who put me here in this dungeon.  I am furious. FURIOUS!  I lie on my bunk and toss my baseball up toward the ceiling, catch it, toss it again. It does not help.  I am still mad as all get out with no inkling whatsoever that I am the only one who holds the key to unlocking the dungeon door.

Copyright © Caren Krutsinger | Year Posted 2018