Best Arsehole Poems

Facebook and the Monster

There is an advert on TV 
Selling Facebook to you and me 
And it all seems so good
Wholesome and fun
This is how life really can be 
If only you join the Facebook community  

And it all looks so safe and soft
Nothing...

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YOU SAY TOM-AAA-TO

Never ever say sorry.
No matter how put,
a meagre sorry tastes

like yesterday’s curled sandwich,
obstinately irrelevant
to any serious discourse.

Instead, play for effect;
make your mark
with the equivalent

of a six course lunch,
a gourmet spread
of words, allusions

and classical reference;
then profusely apologise
with discipline and skill.

When sitting down
on completing this...

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Do you have to work hard to maintain it?
You've held the title strong for years.
Is it a natural born talent or acquired?
Did it come with blood, sweat and tears?

Must be hard reaching down to touch your toes.
But its a requirement needed to pass.
Holding 1st Place...

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Don’t often see him

7/8 asleep

But I’m sometimes surprised

Brushing my feet

Purring and arching

And pushing up high

Ecstasy shows in a half closed eye

Black white and furry

Real smooth to the touch

But not really keen on fussing that much

So soft and cuddly you fail to remember

He has in his...

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In a dim-lit attic sits a rocking chair
where a newborn child was suckled, there.
Then, while a mother gently brushed my hair,
father read tales aloud of Piglet and Pooh Bear.

Later, it became a galloping horse at county fair,
a sheet tossed over transformed into a pirate lair.
Sometimes,...

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My life is for love but I hate my life,
To give everyone what they need just gets me in strife.
I love to help and make you happy,
But I ignore my needs, I feel like the content of a nappy,
Your needs always come first,
I consider your...

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It was spread out all over the living room,
clicked along escarpments and apartments, soon
reaching a station, waiting for master's command,
It left, exuberant, at the touch of a magic wand.

Hornby was sub-standard, Triang was better,
engine would haul along nicely if you let her,
The Golden Arrow went...

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A LESSON LEARNT

I'm sat here in my front room
and i'm feeling all inspired
No ones having a go at me
or making me feel tired

Of the constant bloody arguments
the put downs and the moan
the telling me i'm useless,
the huffs, the puffs, the groans.

No more anxious feelings
or being...

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I’m with a partner, on occasion, if I’m lucky,
But just as luck is, it’s never there for long.
Family and friends are always around,
Yet no matter who’s there, alone I am.
Always the lover, never the loved,
The hardest thing to do, to hold onto myself.

Happiness is false,...

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The Orchard 
Fine day sun and sky, I walked in an almond tree orchard
the scholars call it a deciduous bush and the learned
has no artistic sense looking for a Latin name
like the tree would care.
It is peaceful here a feminine place and no one shouts
“Get...

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They used to call me an arsehole, now they call me a head case....

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Damaged

The damage is done,
It's not over quite yet,
My tally and your sum,
I'm here with no regrets.

Caught out by the one,
The unsuspecting foe,
Mere words from your tongue,
We stand toe to toe.

Apologies may cleanse,
A corrupt and tainted soul,
Not this time friend,
Forever you'll be an arsehole.

(c) 2018 PJ...

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The world
your design
please sort it out ! 

We know you can
your a power unlimited
everybody here is waitin ?

Stop teasin us all !!
Get on with it !

PS Sorry yesterday about me swearing !  
But you are a bit of an arsehole !!...

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The Orchard of femininity 
Fine day sun and sky, I walked in an almond tree orchard
the scholars call it a deciduous bush and the learned
has no artistic sense looking for a Latin name
like the tree would care.
It is peaceful here a feminine place, and no...

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I don’t want to feel.
I tried that and it didn’t work. I tried to numb myself because I just feel alone. I don’t want to talk about it because feeling pathetic is not a very easy thing to express. I want to be better, I...

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