Six Days of Christmas
On the first day of Christmas my MP had for free:
A partridge with all the trimmings.
It didn’t come from Aldi
On the second day of Christmas my MP had on me:
Two vintage Champagnes, a partridge with all the trimmings
And nothing came from Aldi
On the third day of Christmas my MP had on me:
Three Harrod’s Hampers, two vintage Champagnes,
A partridge with all the trimmings
And nothing came from Aldi.
On the fourth day of Christmas my MP had on me:
Four new suits, three Harrod’s hampers, two vintage champagnes
A partridge with all the trimmings,
And nothing came from Aldi
On the fifth day of Christmas my MP had on me:
Five houses rent free!! four new suits, three Harrod’s hampers,
Two vintage Champagnes, a partridge with all the trimmings
And nothing came from Aldi.
On the sixth day of Christmas the MPs did to me:
Lied through their teeth
Raised inheritance tax,
Froze all the pensioners,
Put thousands out of work
Crippled the economy
Cancelled local elections
Gave 50 million to terrorists
While I ate a sandwich from Aldi.
David Cox 22/11/2022
Categories:
aldi, 11th grade, 12th grade,
Form: Rhyme
Mavi kubbe, sana savurdu beni.
Bedenimi çektin derinlerine.
Dünya büküldü o an.
Diplerindeyken ben,
siyah sularin doldurdu cigerlerimi.
Dalgalarin esir aldi ruhumu,
ben fark etmeden.
Billurlasti her sey,
sana aitken benligim.
Hiç oldum ilik rüzgarlarinla.
Zamanin disindaydim sanki bedenindeyken.
Yandim,
alev aldi maviliklerin.
Kayboldum,
can verdim çakillarina.
Söndüm,
eftelyalar dogdu denizinde.
Sonlardan en sonra
kizgin kumlarina vurdum senin.
Dünya dogdu o an.
Categories:
aldi, pain, poetry, poets, symbolism,
Form: Free verse
PERPETUUM MOBILE
I must go down to the pigging shops again
To Morrison, Tesco, Aldi or maybe Lidl
For I Just went there for the sodding milk in vain
How could I forget! it really is a riddle
To me, though to my wife it’s clear as day
It’s because my age is already well past middle
And the senior moments frequently make play
When I get there, wonder why, and so head back
Starting endless cycle - perpetuum mobile
Could it be I’ve found an answer to energy lack?
Send old geezers to the shops - instructions to buy
Tie to National Grid their unending there-and-back
We could call it ‘renewable’, answering Greeny cry
With old codgers in perennial supply.
22 April 2019
Categories:
aldi, humor,
Form: Terza Rima
entered said market seconds later,
and dye motioned (to her) as she sigh
lent lee reached same idle sturdy cart,
which ordinarily requires a quarter to pry
loose from a train of chained property.
I unthinkingly, reflexively, and blithely my
deferred politesse she took possession of cart.
Within instantaneous affirmation je
nais sais quais consent given for her
to load groceries in sought after cart, this guy
noir got fast impression immediately formed,
whereby visually this chic chica to die
for spurred enticement as very pleasing
Halloween eye candy, hence desirable allie
madamoiselle in question totally tubularly
unaware of lovelorn spate. Minutes before
tardy reaction (and perfect comeback
ex post facto) momentarily preoccupied chore
viz reviewing mental check list, my intent
to act with courage and acknowledge a door
quick to close. Her (unbeknownst)
attractiveness to me. Upon inadvertently
froze me like Eeyore
Categories:
aldi, blessing, dream, feelings, freedom,
Form: Free verse
A day in the life of the Evening News
Headline stories and various views
Robson Green, stole the vicars wife
I forgive him said the vicar, that's just life
An aeroplane, is hit by a drone
A girl is mugged for her mobile phone
Two 14 year old kids, armed with knife
Kill a husbands daughter and a husbands wife
Three teenagers, burn a school down
A sink hole opens, on the edge of town
Six people hurt in a taxi crash
The new red wonder boy is Marcus Rash
Boy of ten died, at an Aldi store
Vinyl returns to the record shop door
Community garden trashed by teenage gang
Car explodes at airport, amid a massive bang
Loads of reporters, with loads to say
But its all old old news, on the next new day
Categories:
aldi, social,
Form: Rhyme
from the book WOW! TATTOO MY BUTT -
MORE MAD POEMS AND VERSE BY NICK
By Nick Armbrister
Zuni
I'm the defective detective.
I marvel at the whiteness of frozen snow.
Left right upper leg.
Do you like beer?
No I like Ricky Gervais.
I'm inside the tumble dryer spinning in space.
Just made a hillinit bloody hooooot.
Why do I let the last 5 years drag me down?
Chained to me,
self destroying me from within.
I'm the Phantom Ray bombing plane with no pilot.
She ticked the opt out box and became
a peace loving vegan vampire bi-sexual lesbian called Sultry Sheba.
Dave can roll joints with his toes and smoke them with his bell.
Curtain rail caterpillar coloured purple and beige.
Gibbering old people flying Messers over Russia.
Retirement?
Humbug flavoured gumdrops.
Silver beer cans tasting tinnily of champers.
Aldi luxury potatoes for tea.
Join me and talk gibberish.
Categories:
aldi, fantasy, funny, nonsense, silly,
Form: Verse
Gun donence ipek iprisim
Emegim isledigim umidim
Gelecegim nar bebelerim
Sel ve heyelan kul umidim
Kurdugum ev dere yataginda
Kurdugum ev yamacda
Aldi goturdu sel tel tel
Isledigigim ipek ruyayi
Koptu canimdan ipek iprisim
Gun donence isledigim
Toprak kaydi kayboldum
Bunun suclusu kim
Categories:
aldi, natural disasters
Form: I do not know?
the tracks,
a rough, loud place
there is an ALDI bag,
tied up
i am curious,
i hop the fence, i pick up the bag,
i'm a little scared,
the bag is now untied
a little black and white kitten
runs out into my arms,i cry, and take her home,
we call her Sally,
she is now safe,
and in a loving home
she is my cat , and i love her
she is my cat , Sally
Categories:
aldi, petscat,
Form: Free verse