Brewed from a secret recipe
Nearly two hundred years old
Guarded by the family
Almost valuable as gold.
Using aromatic herbs from
Forty three different Nations
Gathered and despatched
From their various locations.
Distilled in Rheinberg
Forty four percent ABV
Guaranteed pure and
Contamination free.
Bottled labelled wrapped
in distinctive brown twist
Placed prominently by the bar
Where it just can’t be missed.
This miraculous infusion,
This real drinkers friend,
Has brought many a hangover
To a warm and pleasant end.
Very soon after ingesting
The upset is gone
And so for the dedicated
The drinking carries on.
For services to humanity,
For keeping drinking folk alive,
For all their essential work
May FamilyUnderberg thrive.
I can’t understand why
Much to my surprise
They have never ever been
Granted a Nobel Peace Prize
The Porter’s terms
Are highly irregular today
It’s Theo Chocolate nibs
Playing the stark domme fuhrer role
Submitting this docile subject
Into crazed tyranny
Only appreciated by the gullet
Impatiently waiting for its helping
Scores of thieves
Affixed in parallel thoughts
And steely fortitude
Look to match the ABV
Doled out like welfare noodles
With invigoration and words
Caught at each fourth interval
Symphonies breaking among
Someone’s cerebral cortex
As a Marley descendant triggers
Our descent into somewhere wonderful
And nowhere in particular.
(2/25/18)