Jan Allison Poet Limerick

Notes About The Poem

09/22/23

You'Re In Trouble - Bawdy Warning

My neighbour, Mellifluous Myrtle
Her urine she’d stir with a spurtle
She’d give me a wink
Then down it as drink
She’s loopier than the mock turtle!

One Sunday we’d watched the Grand Prix
She proffered a flask of her pee
I said, “Sorry dear
It’s cloudy not clear -
I much prefer my English tea!”

Her pubic hair she'd tried to perm
The lotion gave a nasty burn
I phoned up Bill, her son
And said ,"Please visit mum, 
Her conduct is cause for concern."

I recently heard some great news
That Myrtle’s son won a year cruise
I must hope and then pray
When they leave on Friday
Her bev’rages ain’t from the loos!

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John Read October 9, 2024 at 12:14 PM Myrtle's certainly no lady of taste, letting nothing go to waste, instead of tea, she drank her own pee, I wonder what's in the chocolate cake.

Beryl Edmonds September 24, 2023 at 1:02 AM Good limericks Jan, hilarious… Belle Jan Allison September 24, 2023 at 5:05 AM Thanks Belle:-) hugs jan xx

David Fisher September 23, 2023 at 8:12 AM This one get's us laughing. A true limerick all the way, Jan! Jan Allison September 23, 2023 at 3:28 PM Thanks David, some may not class it as 'real' poetry but hey ho not everyone writes the same style thankfully!:-) hugs Jan xx

Jerry Brotherton September 23, 2023 at 6:19 AM Now that is one bawdy Limerick. I loved every word of it. Made me snot out my drink through my nose from laughter. Good thing it was only tea. Jan Allison September 23, 2023 at 3:27 PM Thanks Jerry, if I can make someone smile it makes my day:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues September 22, 2023 at 4:39 PM That would be a troubling friendship. Bring your sealed water and run away when she downs her drink…really wouldn’t want to stand to close as she speaks. Jan Allison September 23, 2023 at 3:27 PM Thanks Kim:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y. September 22, 2023 at 3:35 PM Lol! Jan, This is funny and bawdy. I echo what Lin said. I enjoyed the read. Have a great weekend:-)Alexis

Jeff Connelly September 22, 2023 at 3:23 PM Jan, this one is so crazily hilarious lololol. You truly rank up there with Lear!!! Jan Allison September 23, 2023 at 3:27 PM thanks so much for COMMENT OF THE YEAR! To be ranked up with Lear is beyond my wildest dreams:-) Hugs Jan xx

Deb M September 22, 2023 at 3:13 PM Jan you are one clever minded and very witty lady with a touch of bonkers….that made me laff!!!! Debx Jan Allison September 23, 2023 at 3:26 PM Thanks Deb, I'll settle for that lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Tania Kitchin September 22, 2023 at 3:03 PM Jan, ha ha, so cute and funny, love your humor! Jan Allison September 23, 2023 at 3:25 PM Thanks Tania:-) hugs Jan xx

James Fraser September 22, 2023 at 2:57 PM Hahaha :) :) :) now this I didn't expect. Oooo weeee wowzers, one can get away with murder with Limericks Jan, nice one xx 100 out of 10 ;) xxxx Jan Allison September 22, 2023 at 3:03 PM lol:-) I always put bawdy so folk are under no illusion it may be a little risque lol, got to smile James , life isnt always a bowl of cherries for sure and I try and lighten the mood:-) hugs Jan xx

Lin Lane September 22, 2023 at 12:36 PM You have some extremely weird neighbors. I'm glad your friends are not wacky and eccentric. Be VERY careful before you reply to that. lol You do love to walk along the edge of the cliff, don't you? Love ya for it. Lin Lane September 23, 2023 at 5:34 AM It's real life, Jan. You can't pretty it up with overused alliteration and rainbow colors. Jan Allison September 22, 2023 at 3:01 PM Lol Lin I may piss off a few folk with my poetry but frankly my dear i dont give a damn - to me this is REAL poetry lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Shadow Hamilton September 22, 2023 at 12:14 PM I laughed at this tongue in cheek limerick Jan very good rhyme too hugs Shadow Jan Allison September 22, 2023 at 12:28 PM Thanks Shadow! I will never give up trying to make folk smile:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen September 22, 2023 at 11:59 AM - Her behavior is really cause for concern ... in a year she might have become even more crazy ... I bet you're looking forward to it :) - Fun as always, Jan :) - Have a lovely weekend :) - hugs Jan Allison September 22, 2023 at 12:09 PM lol thaks Anne-Lise:-) yeah cant wait for the weekend:-) hugs Jan xx