Email Poem

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Subject
Personal Note:
Poem Title:
Poem
CAUTION: 
the contents of this coffee cup may be HOT 
please be careful not to burn yourself or others 
the contents may also be wet 
spillage may result in slipping hazards 
the shorting out of electrical equipment 
electrocution and death 
or a possibly an embarrassing stain on the pants 
the contents of this coffee cup may also be COLD 
sudden violent reactions from sipping yesterday’s coffee 
carelessly left on your desk 
could dislocate any number of bodily joints, 
scare fellow employees or, 
result in the accidental send of that questionable email 
you will later regret 
the contents of this coffee cup may not even be coffee 
please do not accept beverages in this, or any other cup 
from people you do not know 
unless they are clearly identifiable representatives 
of a reputable establishment or the government 
this cup should not be used to contain any non-digestible substances, 
especially petroleum based products and radioactive material 
please, please, please - do not eat this cup 
although this cup may be distributed via a drive-through service 
do not utilize this cup, (or read this warning label), while operating a motor vehicle 
please exercise extreme caution while transporting this cup, 
from the vehicle to the stationary location where you may enjoy it safely 
this cup is not a toy 
please keep it out of the reach of children 
(on second thought, since any well-motivated and mischievous child 
can probably find a way to reach it… 
best to clutch it at all times until you are finished and can dispose of it properly) 
please consult our website for proper disposal techniques 
do not use this cup to eavesdrop on your neighbors through the wall 
doing so could expose you to potentially disturbing, or dangerous information 
this cup is NOT a life preserver 
using it in this manner could result in legal action 
from the drowning victim’s family 
if other more suitable floatation devices are proved to have been available 
this cup is not sanctioned for use in any religious rituals 
especially those in which someone may get hurt 
for any other questions or concerns regarding the safe use of this product 
please consult our website under the “Common Sense” link 
any attempt to sue the manufacturer or authorized distributor of this product 
for any calamity arising from its use or misuse 
will be met with a team of lawyers that will eat you for lunch 
and leave you to use this cup for begging on the street corner 
you MAY use it for this purpose 
YOU HAVE BEEN CAUTIONED 
please sign here: 
and enjoy your beverage 

By Art Wright
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