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You Clip My Wings

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You clip my wings and tell me I must fly Unknown to me the deed, my faith is strong I stand there at the edge about to try My worth to prove, for you cannot be wrong I wait for breeze of dreams to catch my wings Secure my trust in you, I take the dare, and in my heart the song of triumph sings This flight of love will be beyond compare A moment more, and I will take to flight The world will fall away as I will rise My maiden flight is sure to bring delight I'll see it all reflected in your eyes I push off sturdy cliff, but woe is me! My spiral down to death has set you free! Eileen Manassian

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Bl Devnath

Date: 3/11/2016 5:51:00 PM

Extremely sad penned with heartfelt scene my lovely friend. 7+ i feel. Loved always, bl

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 3/11/2016 5:45:00 PM

Ooh this is dark! A very effective piece well expressed Eileen. A 7

Paul Callus

Date: 3/11/2016 9:17:00 AM

There is nothing worse than to trust in someone and then be let down. Your hopes are raised...and the next second they are shattered! You sure know how to tug at emotions, Eileen! ~ hugs // paul

Eileen Manassian
Date: 3/11/2016 10:04:00 AM

Glad I was able to tug at yours, Paul. Love to have you visit, dear collaborator. I hope all is well. Hugs

Laura Breidenthal

Date: 3/11/2016 5:18:00 AM

Those climactic last two lines....so powerful..."I'll see it all reflected in your eyes" Love that moment, Eileen. Your sonnets are magical and touch a tender spot in the heart. Always, Laura

Eileen Manassian
Date: 3/11/2016 10:06:00 AM

Awwww....tender is a beautiful word, dear. Reminds me of a poem I wrote long along that theme. Thank you for your kindness in visiting, Laura. You are always gracious in your comments.

Timothy Hicks

Date: 3/11/2016 1:01:00 AM

You do sonnets very well, and there's a lot going on in this piece. Being tricked, believing you could fly, but alas ... it wasn't meant to be. Unobtrusive rhymes, too ... I barely notice they are there. On your 13th line I keep wanting to saying "but" instead of "what" ... doesn't really affect the meaning in either case, but it's just an observation.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 3/11/2016 10:07:00 AM

You know what? I think I like your suggestion and I'm going to make the change. Thanks ever so much for your keen eye, my dear. I appreciate you giving me your candid opinion on this. Hugs

Charlie Smith

Date: 3/10/2016 7:06:00 PM

Loved the first three verses. I sure was pulling for her, you devastated my hopes. I suppose that's a true sign of a good sonnet. Great job, Eileen

Eileen Manassian
Date: 3/11/2016 10:03:00 AM

Thank you for your kind comment on my work, Charlie. It is much appreciated. I guess sometimes there just isn't a happy ending.

Daniel Turner

Date: 3/10/2016 4:54:00 PM

I love reading excellent sonnets. Thank you. Peace dear lady:)A7

Eileen Manassian
Date: 3/10/2016 4:57:00 PM

Oh...Excellent is a lovely adjective, Daniel. :) I'm touched by it. Thanks.