Notes About The Poem

Writing Under the Stain

in an
          angst-                    saturated
        moment i          find you there in
    my travel bag, injured by the neglect of
   a poorly screwed-on sparkling water bottle cap:
 my beloved poetry notebook of fifteen years. You are
now one-third soaked and stained at the top. I shudder to 
think of throwing you away or burying you in the cemetery of 
old college diaries and love letters. You were my faithful collector of
anxiety and pleasure, cleverness and drought, loneliness and victory;
oftentimes tucked away for months at a time as creative energies were
diverted to other outlets. Like a loyal dog whose master travels away, you 
never gave up on me. How many times the tears stained your inky pages 
long before I even knew that sparkling water was a thing! When friends 
moved away, or betrayed me (how i wished THEY would move away), when loved ones died too young, or old ones lived too long (how they wished THEY could die instead), when my son was slaying dragons and my daughter was breaking up with an inattentive boyfriend; when my wife struggled with her sisters, or when I agonized through physical therapy or cancer surgery, you were patiently there for me. Even as my joints and stitches eventually healed, you continue to be my invaluable companion, both for my history you contain to the left, and for the blank, hope-filled pages to the right. Like me, you are aging, stained, lumpy, scarred, but two-thirds useful as i write under the stain.

///NOTE: the shape above roughly mirrors the unstained portion of my notebook, which I will continue to use in its deformed and lumpy new state!
Also, no poems were harmed in the making of this poem. I write in pencil, so the water didn't render any previous pages unreadable, thankfully!///
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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Ashley Avatar
June 19, 2020 at 3:28 PM
Oh, my psyche is stirred on so many levels with the emotional artistry of this beautifully soul-baring piece, John. The heartfelt nuances of your creative expression touches my heart with your moments of joy, sadness, wonder and life’s challenges, and also moves my imagination to soar in and amongst these many moments captured ever so artfully with the poetic genius of your golden pen. As always, and ever the master of leaving a lasting impression, your last line is endearing and provides a grande finale to an exquisite poem. A fav! Congratulations on your wonderful win in John’s contest. Warmest wishes always, my poetry brother.. ~Susan
Watt Avatar
June 19, 2020 at 3:55 PM
My heart always is warmed by your endearing comments, my poetry sis! How poetically you describe your reactions and emotions, and how thrilled I am to know that my scrawls and scratches can elicit such a response! Truly, I am blessed and honored by your reads and enthusiastic replies, for I value and respect your writings so deeply. Thank you for making my day today, dear friend. Hugs ~ John
Faulkner Avatar
June 18, 2020 at 5:26 PM
I am glad to see you still have your notebook, (although stained!) Sometimes those old, half-forgotten stems of doodles and phrases can come back to life in new and surprising ways - congratulations on your placement, John!
Watt Avatar
June 18, 2020 at 7:31 PM
Indeed! My jazz poem was dug up from that wrinkled old notebook just last week. Thanks for the visit and congrats!
Hamilton Avatar
June 18, 2020 at 11:12 AM
Nice write John, sorry about the book, but glad it's still useful, enjoyed the read, congrats on a nice placement!
Watt Avatar
June 18, 2020 at 7:28 PM
Thank you John for giving a second life to some of those poems past their expiration date. Appreciate the placement!
Dietrich Avatar
March 26, 2020 at 8:08 PM
ok now I remember, a plastic BOTTLE not bag. haha. of water. That was what i forgot about!! Now I have come to it. I think this is my favorite of your writes that I read today. It's such a personal one and I know exactly how you feel. This kind of thing has happened to ME and I wrote about one of those things I think in my Prosies book. if the broken mirror story is in there. This is precious, John.
Watt Avatar
March 26, 2020 at 8:39 PM
Ah yes, "The Mirrored Lid". That was a good one. Glad you liked this, it's kind of outside my oeuvre.
Theraven Avatar
March 25, 2020 at 11:04 PM
John, What a loss, and descriptive tale of the inanimate friend that held such dear memories. -Richard
Watt Avatar
March 26, 2020 at 12:01 AM
Richard, thank you for taking time to read one of my longer writes. I appreciate your words. You're right, there are dear memories committed to the page, and they deserve to be protected.
Raven Avatar
March 25, 2020 at 6:49 PM
Hi John, this is an excellent piece of poetry. I once lost over 700 poems, for I hadn't written them down, the laptop gave up the ghost and they were gone. Started writing them down after this. Your poetry journal is a part of your life, every poem placed within is special yo you. I am glad you didn't lose any. I love the descriptive content of this write. Stay safe, John. Have a wonderful evening. Your friend...Mike.
Watt Avatar
March 25, 2020 at 8:13 PM
Mike, I just can't imagine losing over 700 poems! I have written under 200, and just calculating the time lost gives me a headache and a heartache for you! Yet, you recovered to write again, hats off to you! Thanks for the visit and tale ~ John
Rodrigues Avatar
March 25, 2020 at 12:17 PM
Wonderful not the stain but the write! We are feeling the emotions having too our precious places to store our words!
Watt Avatar
March 25, 2020 at 12:19 PM
Thank you Kim, always lovely to hear from you. It's a small tragedy in light of everything, but poetry is our outlet. So nice to see many relating to this. Hugs/John
Cheney Avatar
March 25, 2020 at 11:51 AM
The visual construction along with the sad tale all work together for a touching piece. Very sorry to hear about the sparkling water tragedy, but glad you are making the best of it all.
Watt Avatar
March 25, 2020 at 12:04 PM
Kenneth, I appreciate your visit and kind comments. I certainly learned a good lesson about packing liquids near valuable paper goods!
Mcconnell Avatar
March 25, 2020 at 8:16 AM
A nice and interesting piece John, so sorry about your poetry book but good to have it on soup. I keep a copy on my word document as well on soup. How're things with you, trust you're healthy and well. Blessings, Gordon
Watt Avatar
March 25, 2020 at 12:17 PM
Thank you for your concerns and thoughtful comment my friend. I will be sending you a status update on email soon. I so appreciate your friendship and godly encouragement throughout these dark, isolated days. Blessings ~ John
Godwin Avatar
March 25, 2020 at 12:13 AM
TWO: People are wrong - ruined poems are children you mourn because you cannot recall them - well, in my case (thus, the need to and why of the punch I wrote about.) Lost poems cannot stay a part of us, again, me, maybe you, too. I'm tired and silly so I should go.
Watt Avatar
March 25, 2020 at 11:13 AM
I agree, lost poems can never be recovered, unless you have an amazing photographic memory. HOWEVER, I always use pencil, so my writings weren't destroyed, just warped. Whew!
Godwin Avatar
March 25, 2020 at 12:10 AM
I, too, had that book, all changed, book never did. I relate to this to the max - don't know how else to say it. In the mid-70's the only person I've wanted to punch poured dirty bong water (can I write that?) on a pile of my poems so I relate to the water spilling, also. This made me realize I should write my own poem to my reliable and personable notebook (but leave out dirty water?) that I sometimes kept closeted for years! Really like this and the feelings it stirs. Poetry hugs ... CayCay
Watt Avatar
March 25, 2020 at 11:07 AM
CayCay, I'm glad you could relate to this, though i hate to think of all those poems and notes you lost due to someone's thoughtlessness. Have you ever written about that incident? It sure sounds visceral to me! Thanks for the visit and comment (AND the "poetry hugs") ~ John
Nicole Avatar
March 24, 2020 at 2:44 PM
Awe, and those soiled pages are still a part of you. They always will be. Many can relate, as we all have kept (many still do) a notebook of words scribbled- nearby. I have a folder with many pages in it. Set to the side. My thoughts- from many, many years ago. Keep that notebook for as long as you can, my dear friend. Your heart is upon every page. <3 Brandy
Watt Avatar
March 24, 2020 at 3:35 PM
Thank you Brandy for working through my long spiel of emotion dumping... you (and others below) are a true friends. Lots of relating to this from our many writer friends. Thankfully I can still read all the words. Loved your comment, appreciate you ~ John
Roper Avatar
March 23, 2020 at 9:20 PM
Nice to be able to collect and place them here where they'll be safe.. Never delete your account .
Watt Avatar
March 23, 2020 at 9:33 PM
I agree with you on that. Even if we need to take a break, leave the poems around for others to read. Thanks for the visit Eve, and take care of yourself and your loved ones ~ John
Wolf Avatar
March 23, 2020 at 7:26 PM
Such a revelation, John! This is gold! Kudos. Thoroughly enjoyed. ~ Gershon
Watt Avatar
March 23, 2020 at 8:08 PM
Thanks for all the affirmation today, my friend! I hope you are staying well and safe ~ John
Koplin Avatar
March 23, 2020 at 6:43 PM
The stains just add character to your list of ramblings. Never throw that away. Just like life everything that happens to our bodies help to make us who we are. Great poem!
Watt Avatar
March 23, 2020 at 6:48 PM
Aye, we both think alike! The scars and stains of our life is the tapestry of individuality. Glad you got that out of this rambling write, I appreciate you dropping in, Mark.
Kauffman Avatar
March 23, 2020 at 5:12 PM
Oh no John! Have had this happen. Your companion will dry out - a bit crinkled and fragile but will always be with you! When I misplace one of my notebooks I do get a bit frantic so now I am cataloging and indexing my files - things to do in quarantine! Well written! Keeping both of you in my prayers. Blessings dear friend!
Watt Avatar
March 23, 2020 at 5:14 PM
Sam, that's why I love posting to Soup, in case an earthquake or fire ever buries my hardcopies in rubble and ash! Thanks for the lovely comment, as always!
Bauer Avatar
March 23, 2020 at 3:27 PM
i love this, john! i am never without a little journal in which to write (i have a shopping bag filled with completed ones) and can totally relate to this. every example you gave is wonderfully described and i especially love the "history...to the left and the blank, hope-filled pages to the right." bravo!
Watt Avatar
March 23, 2020 at 3:29 PM
Bless you, dear poetess for this connection! Although my 'tragedy' is certainly meager relative to the real tragedies going on in today's world, it was a nice diversion to convert the momentary sadness into words I thought many others in the Soup world could tap into. Many thanks ~ John
La France Avatar
March 23, 2020 at 2:43 PM
John, first I will say how sorry I am about your damaged journal, but it is still a treasure and now as for your poem well it is amazing, the layout sublime, the words divine, I love it in every way a poem can be loved and it is going in my FAVS - Constance
Watt Avatar
March 23, 2020 at 2:45 PM
Can't tell you how much that means to me, Constance. You have been a guiding to me as long as I have been on this site. My free verse is a work in progress, and I fear I am over-critical of it, but your encouragement helps me want to write more of it... less head, more heart. Thanks for the fav, my friend. Blessings ~ John
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