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Writer's Block

My pen was blocked; no more poems would flow
My consonants were suffering from constipation

So I made an appointment to see the doctor
After a thorough examination of my pen
His diagnosis was pronounced

He looked me in the eye and said "Jan, I’m sorry to say you have …
Irritable vowel syndrome"

Thankfully this is a fiction write

07-09-17

humorouspoetryfree verse

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Edward Mccall

August 1, 2017 at 9:48 AM

I love reading your poetry Jan you make me laugh. I love the picture you posted and the play on words with irritable vowel syndrome.

Jan Allison

August 1, 2017 at 4:10 PM

aw thanks Edward i do try to bring a smile to people's faces with my silly poems:-) i had such fun with the irritable vowel line thanks for commenting on that as it was my starting point for the poem:-) hugs Jan xx

Darren White

July 14, 2017 at 2:35 PM

LOL I only see this now. Irritable vowel syndrome, that's just so wonderful :D

Jan Allison

July 15, 2017 at 11:36 AM

Thanks Darren:-) hugs Jan xx

Funom Makama

July 12, 2017 at 9:15 AM

Excellent and profound. You have that unique skill of beating the peak. I wish you quick recovery brother. Its a very solvable situation. I am a doctor too.

Jan Allison

July 15, 2017 at 11:36 AM

Thanks Funom:-) hugs Jan xx

White Wolf

July 11, 2017 at 5:21 PM

You have given my cheeks a right exercising tonight, Jan! Hang on, it's morning already! You have a wicked sense of humour! Love it! And the captcha is HEE

Jan Allison

July 11, 2017 at 5:26 PM

Lol the captcha can be such fun and very apt at times. I do try and make folks smile with my silly poems... they may not be excellent and intellectual like some on the site but at least folks can understand them lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Supraja Kannan

July 11, 2017 at 1:35 AM

Ha ha ha... This is brilliant Jan... Thanks for making me laugh so hard...

Jan Allison

July 11, 2017 at 4:49 PM

Glad you enjoyed the poem:-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus

July 10, 2017 at 5:48 PM

Love your wit, Jan:) That 'Irritable vowel syndrome' can be cured by swallowing 2 consonants every now and again! Hugs // paul

Jan Allison

July 11, 2017 at 4:51 PM

Lol paul love that comment ! I'm sure folks have totally the wrong impression of me from my poems and would be surprised if they met me for real lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Carol B.

July 10, 2017 at 2:04 PM

Lol hilarious :)

Jan Allison

July 11, 2017 at 4:53 PM

Glad you enjoyed it carol:-) hugs Jan xx

Dan Cwiak

July 10, 2017 at 8:52 AM

And what great fiction it is...I love the last line. Great write, Jan!

Jan Allison

July 11, 2017 at 4:55 PM

Thanks Dan:-) hugs Jan xx

Joanna Daniel

July 10, 2017 at 8:05 AM

Ha ha ha, Jan, I'm laughing so hard:) only you could think of connecting pen with constipation:) enjoyed:) and what a picture!

Jan Allison

July 11, 2017 at 4:55 PM

I'm not the Queen of poop for nothing lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Lim'Rik Flats

July 10, 2017 at 8:00 AM

Oh my, and in consonant pain? Poor dear! Fun one! Huggaphrastics ~ j

Jan Allison

July 11, 2017 at 4:59 PM

Lol John I thought you would like this one lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May

July 10, 2017 at 7:52 AM

Lol...glad your pen oozed this one out Jan..

Jan Allison

July 11, 2017 at 4:59 PM

Yes I managed to squeeze it out lol:-) hugs Jan xx

M. L. Kiser

July 9, 2017 at 7:54 PM

That was great!

Jan Allison

July 11, 2017 at 5:03 PM

I'm glad it's a fiction write for me lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

July 9, 2017 at 7:30 PM

hahaha. (needing to tell us it was fiction) You are a riot, Jan. Loved that last line!! Clever girl!

Jan Allison

July 11, 2017 at 4:46 PM

I did have fun with this theme lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Christopher Flaherty

July 9, 2017 at 6:12 PM

Irritable vowel syndrome Like it Jan If you need Doctors help maybe our paths will cross 1 day. I am always picking up people from the Isle of Man they come to Aintree Hospital when they need medical supervision because there is no Hospital on the Island

Jan Allison

July 11, 2017 at 4:45 PM

We went with Bridgewater taxis they were awesome but have now lost the contract was such a shame the drivers were wonderful:-( hugs Jan xx

Christopher Flaherty

July 9, 2017 at 7:40 PM

Glad to hear it anyone who beats cancer is hope personified . it seems a lot of people from the Isle of Man seem to come to Liverpool for treatment

Jan Allison

July 9, 2017 at 6:16 PM

WE do have a main hospital and a cottage hospital but there are many treatments that they can't do.. in fact our paths may have crossed as my hubby had his cancer surgery in Arrowe Park in 2013 and we also went to Clatterbridge... but thankfully that is all in the past now:-)

John Lawless

July 9, 2017 at 5:23 PM

NOW THAT IS FUNNY!!!!!

Jan Allison

July 9, 2017 at 5:28 PM

Thanks John:-) I'm glad I made you smile:-) I have seen several poems recently about writer's block so had to do my own slant on it lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Alfred Berggren

July 9, 2017 at 4:55 PM

Got a laugh out of your poem, Jan. Glad its a fictional write.

Jan Allison

July 9, 2017 at 5:17 PM

Thanks Alfred yes its pure fiction thankfully:-) hugs jan xx

Ilene Bauer

July 9, 2017 at 4:00 PM

glad you got to use that line, jan! the accompanying picture is great, too...

Jan Allison

July 9, 2017 at 4:03 PM

LOL Ilene I am so so glad you read this, I remember suggesting you used the line for the title of one of your poems. I never ditch an idea, just save it for the right time:-) hugs jan xx

Heidi Sands

July 9, 2017 at 3:45 PM

Love the photo too! LOL

Jan Allison

July 9, 2017 at 3:46 PM

I am glad I don't do that Heidi, i never scrap an idea:-) hugs Jan xx

Heidi Sands

July 9, 2017 at 3:45 PM

Excellent Jan. That is great - the 'vowel' syndrome' lol. You are so creative :)

Jan Allison

July 9, 2017 at 3:46 PM

I had fun with that line lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper

July 9, 2017 at 1:18 PM

hahaha...love the imagery, and the theme... love eve ~*

Jan Allison

July 9, 2017 at 2:01 PM

Thanks Eve I had fun with the poem!:-) hugs Jan xx

Agnes Krampe

July 9, 2017 at 1:06 PM

oh and I LOVE the picture!

Jan Allison

July 9, 2017 at 1:08 PM

Thanks Agnes, I write on scraps of paper but I never throw away my ideas I save them in word a time I can use them in the future:-) hugs Jan xx

Agnes Krampe

July 9, 2017 at 12:48 PM

This is fabulous - thanks for the smile. Great word play. I have not been able to write much recently, too much going on, no inner quiet.

Jan Allison

July 9, 2017 at 12:50 PM

I wrote three lines when hubby was driving and wove a story around the poem today. I am lucky my muse is behaving at the moment. I have seen several missing muse poems recently so I thought I better join in. I hope you find the peace you need to write Agnes:-) hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith

July 9, 2017 at 10:48 AM

Glad he didn't prescribe DePENds...lol

Jan Allison

July 9, 2017 at 10:49 AM

ha ha ha Tim that was very clever!:-) hugs jan xx

Russell Sivey

July 9, 2017 at 9:28 AM

This is terrific Jan! I am impressed with your clever way of writing this poem! "Irritable vowel syndrome," wow, that is an incredible line Jan, I love it! Thank you for sharing this amazing piece with us! I'm back for the moment, I have a lot of schooling to do, and that means a lot of poetry to write...so I though I'd share some of what I've been working on! Awesome write my friend!

Jan Allison

July 9, 2017 at 10:29 AM

Thanks so much Russell I wrote the irritable vowel and constipated pen lines and title yesterday and wove a poem around them. I'm so glad to see you back on soup:-) hugs Jan xx