Worms

One day my little brother Chris asked our mom for a bendy straw, He liked the way the way it bent towards him until I told him of a flaw. My other two brothers backed me up in no uncertain terms, When I told Chris that if you used a straw you’d contract a case of worms. “The worms,” I said, “would travel up the straw when you took your sips, The manufacturers hid them inside as a joke to get them past your lips.” With that, three of the brothers solemnly set their bendy straws aside, Then we all turned and looked at Chris and the meaning was implied. Chris took his straw out of his milk and looked through it like a telescope, To be confident that his straw was free of worms I’m sure was his hope. “You can’t see them,” I said to Chris, “they probably jumped into your milk, And you’ll never feel them when you swallow because they’re smooth as silk.” From that day on the use of straws became banished by brotherly law, And even today none of the four of us will ever drink with a straw. If you’re born third of four in a family of all boys I wish you a lot of luck, Because sometimes the pranks last for years and it sucks that you can’t suck.