Without You

I Hate being patient, But I've got more of it than anyone else I know, I Hate having to put my myself aside for something else, But I care enough to do it, I find myself filled with a lot of that lately... This... Hate... It sounds so weird to say it out loud... Hate... It doesn't have a nice feeling, I Hate- It's just not me, It's not how I want to be, It doesn't sound right coming out of my mouth, It doesn't sound right swirling through my head, Why is it that I find myself constantly forcing that word out of my head, I hate that... There it is again, Lately it creeps up on me, I know what causes it...I'm tired, I'm tired of being patient and putting myself second, For you, I hate you, I don't hate you, I hate the power you seem to hold over me, I hate that I can't hate you, I feel helpless, The words echo through my head...they echo through the room, The room, This room, I hate this room, The room you so kindly took the time to build for me, The room in my head, Once my sanctuary now my enemy, I hate this room, I'm forced to sit in this damp windowless room, There is no way out...not yet anyways, I have to wait, Wait-and be patient, Wait... For you,