Why He Killed the Emperor, Part Iii

...“ ‘I used to love talking with friends, they gave such meaning to my life, but after watching them all die… it no longer makes my eyes bright. “ ‘I’ve loved women of every type, indulged in every sort of sex, from passionate to quite depraved, yet now, more and more, I neglect. “ ‘I used to the love to read the words of the greatest minds of mankind, now I’ve learned all the arguments, wisdom no longer seems sublime. “ ‘I used to want to lead people down a path both gilded and true, but I’ve seen all people can build, there’s nothing left to me that’s new. “ ‘The people call me ‘the Deathless,’ and that is why I have no tears, all that can happen I have seen, so nothing brings joy or brings fear. “ ‘Once I thought that I was like God, Jesus was sent to save our souls, and I was sent to save this world, but all of that was just ego. “ ‘The truth is, I feel nothing Chin, time has stripped all of it away, man should not live a thousand years, and I no longer want to stay. “ ‘When each day just becomes a blur, when years seem like nothing but weeks, it’s not the future that you crave, it’s some sort of final relief. “ ‘That’s why it’s hard to ask of you what I am requesting right now, the people won’t understand it, they’ll hate you as much is allowed. “ ‘But if you truly want to serve, to do one great thing for your liege, there is one place where I can die, where the spine meets the skull, you see. “ ‘Take that knife from the mantlepiece, strike hard and strike deep, my good friend, I’m begging you to end my life so I can feel human again.’ “ Of course then Chin hesitated, how could he not at this request? But Guiscard’s eyes showed emptiness, too tired to plead for death. So Chin did what was asked of him, the Emperor died with a smile, and Chin never revealed all this at his circus of a trial. He trusted it only with me, and with me, for now, it remains, the people are not ready yet, the truth of it would just cause pain. Since they still build the man’s statues, mourn the loss the date of his death, would they accept what I would say? I don’t think they are quite there yet. But one day I must make it known, despite any blowback of rage, since Guiscard’s kids are all alive, and not one of them seems to age…